Shelach - Do We Desire or Despise Eretz Yisrael

2:00 What is so much different qualitatively about the sin of the Miraglim that Klal Yisrael were complaining about going into Eretz Yisrael? It seems a little bit difficult to understand that the consequence was so severe that none of them would enter into Eretz Yisrael; they would all die out in the Midbar. And that this night would then become the night for generations—that's the root of everything that goes wrong in the history of Klal Yisrael. It seems, you'll forgive me for saying this way, a little, as they say in Israel, muqzam, a little exaggerated. Like it was really that bad. Doesn't seem different than other times that they were grumbling in the Midbar. So Rvulapianski points us to a pasuk in Tehillim Pasuk in Tehillim 106: 24. They despised the desirable land. They did not believe his word. They despised the desirable land. What do we see from this pasuk in Tehillim Referring to the Chet Amiradim? We see two things. Number one, it's called Eretz Chemda.

3:18 The land of Israel is called Eretz Yehuda—it's called a desirable land. What does that mean? We have to unpack. What does it mean that the land of Israel is called a desirable land? And two We see that David Hamelech is giving us an insight into the Chay Tameraglim. It was much more than the bickering or the grumbling that happened at other points in the Midbar. In other words, when they complained about the mud, when they complained about the slough, when they complained about the water, that was called grumbling. Here, what's the word that David Melch uses? They despised the desirable land. What are we to understand here? That number one, what does it mean that the land was desirable? And number two, what does it mean that they despised it? What's the significance of the fact that Klal Yisrael despised the land? Sirvopianski shares as follows.

4:17 There are two stages of marriage in halacha. I'll spell it out in case you don't know. There's something called eresin, which is also known as kedushin, and there's something called nisuin. Eresin kedushin is the first stage, and that's where when your husband marries you through eresin, stage one You become asura to everybody else. So you're forbidden from being with anybody else at that point. That's stage one. Stage two is called Nesu'in, and that's called Hachnasah LeRishuso Where your husband brings you into his home, and that's where it's not just that you're forbidden to everybody else, but now you've entered into a marriage with your husband. So step one, when you're getting married, is going to be Erisin, that makes you usher to everybody else. Step two is your husband actually brings you into his home. That's the stage called Yichud, right? When you go to the Yichud room. So that's called the nesu'in, the sense that you've been he's been machnes you into his rishos.

5:23 He brought you into his rishos. These two stages of marriage Erison step one where you're asura to everybody else, and nesu'in where you're actually brought into your husband's home. We see this in two stages in Klal Yisrael in the Midbar. Step one, erison was by Har Sinai. As we'll see, step two, Nesuin, was bringing us into Eretz Yisrael. Now let's start to play out the first half because that's where it's going to be the easy part. Then we're going to do the harder part. By Har Sinai, what did Hakadosh Baruch Hu do? He said, "You shall have no other gods before me." So what is that? What is that saying? That's like Aresin, right? What was Aresin? You're not allowed to be with anybody else. So what was the second of the Ten Commandments? You should have no other gods. You see how it parallels exactly. You shouldn't be with anybody else.

6:20 What did Klal Yisrael do 40 days later? What did they break? They broke the Eirusin. We were disloyal to Hakadosh Baruch Hu in a certain way, and even though we made a contract, a covenant, that we wouldn't be with anybody else, we violated the exclusivity of the relationship, and we made an idol. That was, of course, a terrible sin. But let's talk about stage two because that's what we're here to focus on tonight. We did tshuva for the avera that we did by the chet ha'egel. That's a tremendous taira by itself. But there's a second element here which is critical. What is the husband's reshus that we were brought into? The Rambam refers to nisuin as hachnasah reshusah that you're brought into your husband's home. What is the husband's home in this analogy? The husband's home is Eretz Yisrael. That's our Kodesh Baruch Hu's home.

7:22 And when he brought us into his home, that was his way of saying not just I want you to be with nobody else. What was he expressing by saying I want you to go into Eretz Yisrael? I want you to be mine. I want Nesu'in. I don't just want that you'll be. It's not enough for me. That you won't be with other gods. I want us to have a relationship that's unique to us, not just exclusive from other people. So when we're brought into our husband's home by the chuppah. That's your husband saying, 'I take you.' Do you take this woman? I take you into my home. This is our home now. We're brought in. So Hakadosh Baruch Hu says to us Come to Eretz Yisrael. And what was our response to that? Now here's where it gets. I'm going to speak a little bit in my own words and less in Rav Lapiansky's words, even though I think everything Rav Lapiansky said is absolutely incredible. I forgot one last tidbit of information.

8:24 What mesecta do we find the you call it a mitzvah, whatever it is, the sugya of living in Eretz Yisrael? It's found in Meseches Ksuvis. Meseches Ksuvis is all about nesuin. It's all about the completion of marriage. So it makes sense that the mitzvah or the sugya of living in Eretz Yisrael would be found where in the Masechta that talks about Nesu and the Masechta that talks about the completion of marriage. So what was our response? Hakadosh Baruch Hu invites us, so to speak, into His home, and He says to us I want you to be with me. I want to complete this marriage. There's something called the Gottman Institute. Have any of you heard of the Gottman Institute? The Gottman Institute Run by John Gottman. Is one of the most fascinating labs in the entire world. What do they do? The Gottman Institute can predict I believe it's with over 90% accuracy If a couple is going to get divorced.

9:29 And what they do all day is they study relationships. When I say they study relationships, I don't mean like they bring people in for a meeting. You actually live in an apartment. And you are miked up, wired up. The cameras are on. You wear wearables that measure your heart rate and all these different things. They literally have studied relationships in the most scientific way that anybody has ever studied them, and with over ninety percent accuracy, they can predict if a couple is going to get divorced. Which is phenomenal. It gives us insight into what goes right in a relationship and what goes wrong in a relationship. In the Gottman Institute, they came up with this concept, and there's a book about it. It's actually a really good read if you're interested in reading it, called "The Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse." What are the four things that a couple can do that, when they do these four things, it's a sign that the relationship is deteriorating?

10:31 So the four things are criticism. Defensiveness Stonewalling And contempt. Those are the four things that, when they're present in the marriage, I'll repeat it. These are the four things that, when they're present in the marriage, it's a sign that the relationship is deteriorating. Criticism Defensiveness Stonewalling And contempt. Crit. I'll do one last time, and then after that, you're gonna have to listen to the recording. Can you read the name of the book? It's called *The Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse*. Criticism, defensiveness, stonewalling, and contempt. The one I want to focus on tonight is contempt. Of the four, I apologize. Of the four, I have my ringer on in case we have an alert. Of the four Of the four horsemen of the apocalypse, the four things that you can do that will deteriorate a marriage, contempt is considered the worst of the four horsemen, according to Gottman's research. It's the most destructive, negative behavior in any relationship, and we're talking about over four decades, over 40 years. Gottman has been studying people like this, and he said contempt is the number one predictor of divorce.

11:48 But we're going to explain. We're going to explain. It's the number one predictor of divorce. Malcolm Gladwell. I don't know if you've ever heard of Malcolm Gladwell. In his book that he wrote called Blink. He said, "If Gottman observes one or both partners in a marriage showing contempt towards the other, he considers it the most important sign that a marriage is in trouble." So, what does contempt mean? Contempt, and I'm going to speak about it in a more general sense, but contempt basically means I don't like you anymore. I don't like you. I see you, and I've had this negative attitude towards you for a long time. You sometimes see this in relationships. Where people have what's called the tzaros ayin, they have a negative eye, they have a narrow world view of another person, and they tell themselves a story over and over again about how bad the other person is.

12:40 And then what they do is they marshal evidence every time the person, the partner, does something. They go, 'See, that's you, that's you,' and they just speak about the person in a negative way. It's interesting when a couple is dating; it's almost like nothing bothers each other, right? Anything you do, even if, in five years from now, it'll be driving the other person crazy. But when they're dating, it's like it's cute, right? It's like, it's sweet that they do that. Five years later, you're pulling your hair out, going like, why do you do that? But when you're dating, you didn't have that at all. The reason is because when you're dating and you see a person expansively, you narrate something about the person that you're with. Since you like him, the narration you have about that person is that he's awesome. He's so funny, right? He's such a relaxed guy, right? He just does everything with a smile, everything is chilled out, right? Five years later, the wife is like, can't you take anything seriously?

13:43 What changed? The same thing that she loved when they were dating, she has contempt for when they're married, and the reason is because it's never about the person; it's always about our narrative around the other person. The way it works is basically, and this is going to sound a little funny Nothing is objectively true one way or another. Life is 98% perception. When you were dating and you had this positive narration, you had happy feelings, loving feelings, joyful feelings about being with this person. Perhaps you were like, I can't wait to spend more time with you. Five, ten, fifteen, twenty years later, there's contempt in the marriage. Nobody changed. What changed? Our perception of that person was negative. Our narration around that person was negative, and we grew into feelings of contempt. We grew into feelings of I just don't like you. So here's the thing.

14:46 Once one partner despises the other person Once one partner has contempt for the other person It's not just a breach in the relationship. It's not just that, for example, and obviously we're not minimizing idolatry, but idolatry is a breach in the relationship. Idolatry is like we were meant to be exclusive, and you left the relationship. You strayed from the relationship. That's obviously terrible, but in a certain way, contempt is even worse than that. Why? Because contempt means that the marriage itself is not worth saving. Contempt means I'm no longer interested in being a part of this relationship. It's possible for a person to do an avera, which is a breach in our relationship with Hakadosh Baruch Hu. We're not supposed to have other gods, and we had other gods. It doesn't mean we don't care about Hashem. For whatever reason, we were pulled towards something else.

15:46 So for an average where there's a breach, there's still hope. You could still rebuild the relationship. But when it comes to people who have contempt for each other, there's almost no hope in the relationship because you're working with people that don't want to be in the relationship. I know a rebbe of mine who became a marriage therapist after he wasn't a rebbe any longer. He became a marriage therapist. Then he had a rule. In his first session with the couple, he said, "I need to know that we're in jail with each other for the next six months. For six months, there's going to be no talk of divorce." Because if we're not committed to this work for six months, then what's the point of doing the work? If you've got one and a half feet out the door, it's going to be very hard to pull you back in.

16:37 And what I think he was saying is, if you have contempt for the other person, if you don't have hope in the relationship Then there's no amount of work we can do to save the relationship. A therapist many years ago said to me, and in a totally different context. I'll be honest with you, when I heard it, I thought it was very flighty. I thought it was very hippie-ish, and I didn't take it seriously at all. She said, "Hope is everything" And it was like a throwaway line. I'll be honest, I probably shouldn't admit this. I didn't roll my eyes at her. I'm a polite person, but in my head You ever do that in your head where you roll your eyes? You know what I'm saying? Where you don't roll your eyes like in front of the person, but in your head you're like Stop. Come on, please, just stop. So in my head, my eyes were all the way in the back of my.

17:33 And then the next day, I was talking to somebody and they said something about hope and I said, hope is everything. And then, a week later, I said it again. And then, a month later, I said it again. I was like, "Oh man, it's true." And I thought it was this hippie line. And it is a little bit, but there's tremendous truth to it. Hope is everything. You can actually do anything when you have hope. And that's why hope is such a difficult emotion to have. There's a big difference between optimism and hope. Anybody could be optimistic. Optimistic just means like it's gonna be great. Hope is an obligation. Hope is an act of faith. Hope is like this relationship is falling apart, but I have real faith in this relationship, and therefore I have hope that we can rebuild this relationship. But if you don't like the other person If you have contempt for the other person, if you despise the other person Then what's the hope?

18:33 What's the foundation of the relationship? It's like You ever hear this line from a parent? And don't say this line to your kids. I love you very much, but I don't like you right now. You ever hear that line from a parent? It's a terrible line to say. Don't ever say that to your children. Because love without like is not good. Love is beautiful. Love means I'm committed to be here and committed to giving to you, but nobody wants to be in a relationship with somebody that doesn't like them. I don't want to be loved by someone that has contempt for me. Maybe I'm driving you crazy right now, but you still like me. That's a parent's job is to like their children. And if a parent doesn't like their child, whose stuff is that? That's the parent's stuff. Every child is doing, and every person really, but certainly with children, every child is doing their absolute best. It doesn't mean they're doing good things. But they're doing their best to be who they can be in that moment.

19:36 So it's not a small thing to communicate to a child, overtly or covertly, "I don't like you very much" Because in the space of contempt, relationships erode. You understand what I'm saying? If a child chassvashalom feels that they are unliked by a parent, the erosion that's occurred in that relationship is terrible. It's true in parenting. It's certainly true in marriage. There's a big tirade here to be said about marriage. They say a story about R' Shlomo Zalman Arbach Zecher Tzadik Levrach, who was the great tzadik in Yerushalayim, he was a Rosh Yeshiva, he was a brilliant Hamacham, a posek of the generation. They say that when R' Shlomo Zalman would come home, before he would knock on the door to enter, he would straighten himself out. He would make himself look presentable. And someone wanted to tell me the master. I'm like Rebbe, why? He said, 'What do you mean? I'm going to greet my wife.'

20:35 There's something very beautiful that a person could be married for so long And have real respect for the relationship, real respect for the person they're with. I myself saw with my Rebbe, and I also heard about Rav Nachman Svi Finkel Zei Chetzalel Rahu, who was the Rosh Yeshiva of Mir Yeshiva. One of my rebbeim was in Rav Nasan Svi's house. He was waiting online to speak to Rav Nasan Svi. And Rav Nasan Svi had to go out and give shear. He was the last person, and he was about to speak to Rav Nasan Svi, but then Rav Nasan Svi had to go to the mirror to give shear. So he decided to wait around. They told him to wait around. You'll be the first online when Rav Nasan Svi gets back. Rav Nasan Svi had Parkinson's. He shook terribly. It was very hard for him to give shear. By the time he got to yeshiva, got to the shirum, gave the shir, came home. It was a long time, but this rebbe decided to wait.

21:33 So he is waiting there. I think he said he waited for two hours, two and a half hours. Rav Natan Sve came back. Remember, he had been away from his wife for two, two and a half hours. He said when he walked in the door, the smile that Rav Natan Sve's wife greeted him with was like they hadn't seen each other for five years. This rebbe said he felt so uncomfortable. Because the love in the room was palatable And he's like, I don't want to be here. It feels inappropriate to be seeing this. But there is something very beautiful about that. That somebody walks in the door, and they're greeted with a smile. Isn't that true? You come in, and if somebody's like, and of course everybody's busy and everybody's running around, it's totally understandable that it's not easy to do. But when your husband walks in the door You can spare yourself.

22:24 So much agony. If you'll just smile at him. Hey, doing? Things a little bit crazy here. Looking forward to talking to you. I'm just trying to get this kid in the bath and finish dinner and this and that. You can do all that. Nobody's expecting a mother to be a superwoman, even though Jewish women are absolutely superwomen. Nobody's expecting that of you. What we ask is, can you greet your husband with a smile and say, 'This is a place where I'm happy that you're home.' Think about what it's like for a husband who walks in the door. And again, understandably, you're not always going to be perfect at this. But imagine your husband walks in the door and he has a long day of work, and you also had a long day of work. And he walks in the door, and the first thing he hears is, 'I need your help. This one's driving me crazy. This one has homework to do. I need to finish this. I need to finish that.'

23:14 What husband is going to want to walk in the door when right away he's going to be given a list of things, which is fine, but if it's not done with a smile? It's like am I really welcome here? Guys, know this. I'm going to tell you a secret. There are times when a guy drives home and stays in the car for an extra five minutes because he just needs to compose himself before he walks in the house. There's nothing wrong with that. If we greet each other with a smile, it changes the dynamics of our relationship. My Rosh Yeshiva, Zechariah Golovache, his name was Reb Brant Shpigel. He was a Holocaust survivor. He was a very special man. He used to give us mussar in yeshiva all the time. Say good morning to each other. That was his big thing. Say good morning to each other. And he used to say, 'You'll tell me it's hard to sit there and say good morning to guy after guy.' He said, 'I'll give you a piece of advice.'

24:06 Mean it. If you actually mean it when you say good morning, it changes a person's day. Try it. Try it. Try it tomorrow. When a person, when your roommate wakes up in the morning, roll over, greet them with a smile, and say good morning. Now you're going to do it. You're going to make fun of me tomorrow. I don't care. It's worth it. It's a hundred percent worth it because what's going to happen? You'll see. Watch how people naturally light up when somebody wishes them a good morning. It's the most beautiful thing in the world. Because what do you say? I'm happy you're here. I'm happy to see you. Isn't that a nice thing? Who wouldn't want to be greeted that way? The husband walks in the door and just throws his stuff down and goes and plops himself on the couch and doesn't even say hello to you. How do you feel? It's it's it's not nice. It's not nice. It's an expression. Of contempt.

24:52 What did the Rebbeinu Shlom do? The Rebbeinu Shlom brought us into his home. And he said, "I want to be machnasu to my rishos. I want to have a nisuin together. I want us to live together. I want us to have not just exclusivity. I want to have more than that. I want to have a yachas between us, something very special. That's what I want." What was our response? Our response was contempt. It doesn't say that we were grumbling. What did David Hamel say? We were disgusted. We despised the land, we had contempt—not for the land. Goddesh Baruch Hu doesn't care about a piece of dirt. But it's what the land represents. This is the place where we enter into a relationship with Hashem. By having contempt for this land, Hakadosh Baruch Hu said clearly, "You're not interested in me." And what does the land desire? What's it called? Eretz Chemda. It's a land of desire. What does it mean? It's a desirable land. The emiss is. I want to tell you something. As beautiful as this land is, and I love it here, and I think on every level it's beautiful.

26:04 But as beautiful as Eretz Yisrael is, I have a talmud right now And whatever his name is doesn't matter. But he likes to post on his status. And he's like spaziering all around upstate New York. And he's going on like all these Tiyulim up there. It's stunning. I didn't know this. First of all, when I went up to the mountains, I didn't drive around up there when I was a kid. I went to camp, and Artiyul back in the day was like we walked to the general store. We had five dollars and we could buy Edmonds donuts and come back. I was in a very cheap camp. We weren't in one of these upscale camps. It's gorgeous. There are waterfalls. There are beautiful forests. Amazing trails. Beautiful views. Amazing mountains. We had that here in Eretz Yisrael also. But is it really true that Eretz Yisrael is aesthetically the most beautiful land? I've seen pictures of Hawaii. Hawaii looks pretty awesome. I'd like to go to Thailand once in my life. The Swiss Alps seem pretty amazing.

26:58 What's the shot? This is the most desirable land. Maybe it means something different. It's the land that requires desire. You have to want it. You have to like it here. You have to, and because it's not about Eretz Yisrael. It's not about the sticks and the stones. It's about what the sticks and the stones represent. Hakadosh Baruch Hu says, "I want to be in a relationship with you. Do you want to be in a relationship with me? Do you desire me, or do you have contempt?" So listen, what Tavardamel is saying—it's so deep. Vayimasu in the space of Eretz Yemda, in the space of a land that requires desire. What did we have? Disgust and contempt. So Hakadosh Baruch Hu says, "That's the worst avirah." That's the worst average, because it's beyond just a breach in the relationship. It's the erosion of the relationship. There is no relationship left.

27:52 And that's hard. It's hard because if you're gonna come into this land, what does it mean to express desire to be in this land? It means living a life that's aligned with Hashem. If you want to tell your husband that you like him, you know what you need to do. You need to actually like him. That's more than just an emotion. You know what it means to like somebody? I'll give you an example of this. I think this is a funny example, but it's a decent example. If your husband's just sitting there, I picture the scene. We'll set it. We'll make it a very firm scene. It's Bayanazmanim. Your husband is learning at home. And he has his sefer, and he's writing notes or typing things up at your dining room table. It's 12:30 in the afternoon. And you just came and made him a delicious sandwich.

28:51 It's not a big thing to make somebody a sandwich. How long does it take to make somebody a sandwich? And let's say you went the extra mile. It's going to sound like a funny thing, but you cut the sandwich in half. And you knew the sauces that he liked on the sandwich. You knew his favorite. You didn't have to make a big deal, but you did it. Why is that such a big deal? Why does a man like a woman who brings him a sandwich? Sounds like a funny thing. The truth is, you don't need to do a lot to express the fact that you like somebody. It's actually the opposite. Small gestures mean I like you. So what does our Kodesh Baruch Hu say? Come to my land, live with me. Like it, desire me. How do we express that? We have to follow the rules of the relationship. That's why Eretz Yisrael is so sensitive to whether or not we keep halacha. The Torah tells us it's a land that will spit you out if you don't follow the law of the land.

29:43 Because we're in the king's palace. Following the law is really important in the king's palace. It's one thing if you violate the king's law if you're living thousands of miles away from the palace, but if you're living in the palace, it's sensitive. You violated my laws in the palace. Do you really value me? Do you really want to be here? So the chait of the meraglim was such a terrible avera that it became for generations. This is the night from which all destruction flows. Why? Because it was the night that we expressed that we did not want to be with Hashem when Hashem desired to be with us. That is a huge avera. I want to share with you an amazing vart Two amazing varts, and then we'll finish. One var that I heard years ago, I don't remember from who, and I wish I could because it's such a stunning var. And the other var that I heard from my Rosh Yeshiva when I was in the Vaseret 27 years ago.

30:41 The first var is we call Eretz Yisrael Eretz Chemda Tova Urechava. It's a desirable land that we spoke about. Tova, it's a good land. Urechava, and it's a wide land. Now I get Eretz Chemda. We just explained it's a land. That's desirable in the sense that it's a land that requires us to desire. I even get that it's a good land. The last thing I would ever describe Eretz Yisrael as is a wide land. It's a very small land. Even relative to our neighbors. Look at Lebanon, Syria, Jordan, Egypt, Iraq, Iran, Saudi Arabia. This land is smaller than the state of New Jersey. So why is it described as Eretz Chemda Taiva Urechava? I understand it's desirable land, it's a good land. But it's not a wide land. I saw a stunning verse years ago. I'm so sorry, I can't remember who to quote it from because it's a really beautiful verse.

31:37 When you really like something You're like, look how much of it I have It's like if you look at Eretz Yisrael and you think it's small, it's because it's like imagine if you had a diamond. And you're like, look how big it is. A diamond is not that big. A diamond is in fact tiny. Even huge diamonds are not big, right? Like even the biggest diamond is like what? Like this big, right? Like you don't even have the bigger this big, right? Like there are things that are much bigger than a diamond. But why do we say, wow, look at it, it's huge? You ever hear girls show off their bling when they get engaged? I'm very relevant. Show off their bling. Put a ring on it. And the whoa, it's huge. It's not big. What are we saying? It's so desirable. Look how much of it you got.

32:29 How much of Eretz Yisrael you get is not because Eretz Yisrael is the biggest land. There are much quote unquote larger lands than Eretz Yisrael. But for us, it's expansive because it's ours. Because it's desirable. Because we love to be here. Because this is the meeting place between us and Hashem. This is our home. This is where we entered into a relationship with Hashem. The Gemara in Kesuvos, and this is the second part, and this is one of my favorite parts of all time. This was one of the parts that inspired me to move to Israel. The Gemara in Kesuvos tells us, Rav Chia bar Gamda megander ba'afra. Rav Chia bar Gamda would roll in the dust of the land. That's something, by the way. I feel badly for you. You grew up in the newly renovated Ben Gurion Airport, which is a very nice airport. Believe me, I've been in airports all around the world. Ben Gurion is a very nice airport.

33:18 There's something I hate about it. One thing I hate that we had in the 80s that today your girls are never going to get. It used to be that when you landed in Israel, they landed on the tarmac. You had steps going off of the plane. You would walk down off the plane. I remember when I came here to Israel for the first time, my father who's not like the most spiritual guy in the world at all got down. He prostrated himself on the ground and he kissed the tarmac of Eretz Yisrael. I wanted to do that. It's so beautiful. And by the way, it's a Gemara. This is what the Gemara says. He would roll around in the dust of the land. That's the way it used to be. You would come to Eretz Yisrael and get down and kiss the ground. Today, what are you gonna do? You're gonna get down and kiss the kiss that like stairwell when you go up. You're gonna be on the escalator kissing. It doesn't really work in the same way. There's something. Baruch Hashem, it's a beautiful airport.

34:18 I wish they would still land 20 feet away. It would be an inconvenience that's totally worth it, because children would get to see their parents getting down and kissing the ground. It's hard to instill a love of Eretz Yisrael, especially if you grow up in Chutzl'aratz where you have amazing amounts of material things. You come to this land, and even though unfortunately our land has caught up materialistically, I wish it was simpler the way it was when I moved here 17 years ago. But progress is progress, and it's very difficult to slow it down and stop it. However, it's much easier to teach your children the value of living here in Eretz Yisrael when they see their parents getting down and kissing the ground. But listen to the var from my rashi shiva. My rashi shiva said this var over in the name of his father was the Dov of Meisharim, who was a tremendous tzaddik and a tamachachem in New York. He was a rav in New York. And he said as follows: Look what the pasuk says. Look what the Gemara says. I'm going to say the whole thing inside.

35:12 Rav Chia Bar Gamed and Gander Ba Afra. Rav Chia Bar Gander would roll around in the dust of the land. Shenemar, as it says in the pasuk, Kiratzu Avadecha as Avoneha v'Safra Yichonenu. That your servants take pleasure in her stones and they love her dust. So Rav Chia Bar Gamed would roll around in the dirt because there's a kiyum of this pasuk. If you take a look in Rashi, listen what Rashi says. Rashi says, "Ki ratsu avadecha es avaneha vees afriyachonenu." Your servants take pleasure in her stones and love her dust. What did Rashi do? He just quoted word for word the pasuk. He didn't add anything new. That's not what Rashi does. What does Rashi do? Rashi is a commentary. Rashi comes to explain. Here, Rashi just quotes the pasuk. So what is Rashi doing? Said my Rashi Shiva in the name of his father, the Doviv Mesharim.

36:11 Rashi took out the word shenamar As it says in the pasuk. Why? Because a person could come to Eretz Yisrael And they could say, "I'm now going to be m'kayim the pasuk that I should roll around in the dirt of Eretz Yisrael," and they get down and they kiss the land. And my Rashi Shiva said that's the wrong approach. When a Jew gets off a plane in Eretz Yisrael and they walk down those stairs, they shouldn't do it because they want to be makayim the pasuk. It should be natural to us. You should run to kiss the ground of Eretz Yisrael, not because the Torah told you to, but because your relationship with this land is so essential. It's so loving. It's so exciting. I can't wait to roll around in its dust. I can't wait to kiss the ground of Eretz Yisrael. It's not a halachic formula. It's an emotional reaction. When you go home, blessed be Hashem.

37:03 You will eventually be able to go see your families before you come back here to Israel. I imagine when you walk in the house, you're not going to be like "I'm now going to be makayim the mitzvah of kibud av v'aim and give your parents a big hug and a kiss." And if you do, that's terrible. Don't do that. That's terrible. I have a brother-in-law who used to do that as a joke to his mother when his mother would call me, pick up the phone, and say, "Hey, name makayim mitzvah of kibud." And you would do it just to be obnoxious because he's a very funny guy, and his mother would go simcha, stop it. But of course that's the role. We don't do it because it's a pasuk. You run to greet your mother and father because you love them. That's how a person has to come to this land. We come to this land and we say, 'Kadosh Baruch Hu, I'm so excited to be here with you. It's Eretz Yisra'el. It's a land that requires desire.

37:54 I say this because I know, and I don't want to mince words here. I know that it's hard. I know that it's hard for people to be here right now. I know that there are girls that are crawling out of their skin, and they're like, "I have a job in America in a week, and I got to get back." And there's things that I'm meant to do. And there are girls that are planning all sorts of wild escapades. They're renting scuba gear, and they're going to go. They're going to scuba through Cyprus, and then they're going to take a train from Cyprus to Siberia, and then go from Siberia through. They're gonna end up in Pearl Harbor. It's like a whole thing. I understand everyone's got their plans. And it appears to me that there's two types of girls right now. There are girls that are like, yes, we got a couple more days here in Israel. That's awesome.

38:41 I had an expectation. Expectations are premeditated disappointments. I had an expectation that I'm going to be home, and it's difficult for me. I've been away for a long time. Maybe there are girls here that are rightfully anxious about what's going on. It feels unsafe, and there are girls that are just itching to get out. I understand that. And I think it's valid. If I'm being honest with you, I think we should, as educators, encourage you to recognize that all of your emotions are valid. And they brought in Dr. Adahen. She came in already. So I'm sure she did that. I'm sure she created a safe space for everybody to experience all of their emotions, and everything is valid. And I hope you feel validated by everything that I'm saying. And having said that I know that nobody here wants to leave because they're running away from Eretz Yisrael.

39:33 I know that the people who are itching to get back to their homes in America are doing it because they miss their loved ones, or because it could be scary to be here sometimes, or because they have jobs that they were really looking forward to. I get it. I get it a hundred percent. But I just want to remind you. This is a land that requires us to desire it. I give everyone here a bracha that you're zayich to move here. It is such a blessing to raise children here. It's such a tremendous blessing. It's a complicated place, but honestly, I wouldn't trade it for anything in the world. It's an amazing thing to live in this country. But it's amazing not because we have technological startups. Life here is beautiful because kids can run in the streets and because everyone here is Jewish. That's not why it's amazing.

40:22 It's amazing because this is our home. It's amazing because we've established temporary residencies in Canada, in America, and wherever else around the world. But this is our home and we shouldn't forget it. This is the land that Hakadosh Baruch Hu said I want to marry you here. We had our erusin by Har Sinai. You could have your erusin outside of the country. But marriage, the home, the hachnasah rishuso, being brought into our relationship with Hakadosh Baruch Hu, that happens here. Does that mean that a person can't be a good Jew in Chutz La'aretz? Chas v'shalom. You have amazing gideons that live in Chutz La'aretz, the biggest gedolim throughout history, weren't necessarily zochah to live in Eretz Yisrael, but we were. We were given the opportunity to live here. That's nothing to sneeze at. It's an opportunity to come home. And whether you will be a zocher or won't be a zocher to live here, every Jew ought to desire it.

41:17 I saw that meaningful minute poll, and I don't know how scientific this poll is because I don't know who responded and from what communities. But it seems that even now, people are still very interested in making aliyah. And since October seventh, the number of people that have applied to Nefesh Ben Nefesh, everyone thought it would diminish. If anything, it's increased in ways that we haven't seen. Don't get locked out. Don't get locked out. We are almost there. We are almost at the end. We're already in the period called Echvus of the Mashiach, but we are literally in the final moments. What does it mean partially to bring the Gula? What does it mean partially to bring the Gula? Means I want to go home. I'm tired of living outside of this land. I'm tired of having to wander from exile to exile. I want to come home and I want to make this the home that I called Shmaru wants it to be.

42:07 It's not enough. We are greedy people. We don't want to live just in a Israeli state. We want to live with David Malkhesh and Meshicha. We want to live with Tavra Melech. Which means that we have to live the way that Hakadosh Baruch Hu wants us to live here. So when we're here in the king's palace, brought home by our spouse, Hakadosh Baruch Hu says, 'Come, Kali Yisrael is the wife. Hakadosh Baruch Hu is the husband. Hakadosh Baruch Hu says, 'Come home' And He opens the door to us. Who are we to say that you must be Eretz Yisrael? I don't desire to be here. It's one thing to say I'm ready to go home. That's fine. I'm ready to go see my parents. I have a job. I have things. I totally get that. But make sure that when you do leave, at the right time, you'll be able to go back to your parents. But when you do leave, don't leave. You must be Eretz Yisrael. Don't say, "Oh, I can't stand up here." " That's not the right way to leave. The right way that a Jew leaves Eretz Yisrael is with plans to come back. Mez Hashem, he should be zeicher to have plans to come back as soon as possible.