Parshas Yisro - The Power of Desire

2:20 A ramp, correct? Because they would wear these sort of like Mid-length pants in the Beis Hamikdash, and when you step, you have to take wide steps on a stair, so they would be somewhat revealing. Ah It's not what we were expecting. It feels somewhat a little bit. We Chassid Shalom should say this because every pasuk in every parsha is so dear, so precious to us. But this sort of maybe a little bit feels to us like a little bit of a letdown A little bit of like. I was hoping for some transcendent pasuk And yet what do we find? Don't walk upstairs when you're going to the mizbech, because you're gonna reveal a little bit of erva. What's that got to do with me? What's it got to do with you? The Torah is eternal. What's this for us? It is, however, an interesting thing to note.

3:19 The Torah's How shall we say this? Sensitivity. The Torah's sensitivity to not being megala erva, to not revealing that which is not meant to be revealed And we find it already in the very beginning of the Torah. We find it already with the creation of man. If you look in the second parak of Berachus It says that Adam. Named Chava Ishah, and then a person should get married, and then it says the ushnayim arumim. Ha Adam ve Ishto ve Lo Yes Bosheshu. The very first thing we're told is Adam and Chava They had no clothing, They were naked. And they were not embarrassed. What's an obvious question to this? An obvious question is why this is the defining feature of Adam and Chava. It's the first thing we know about them. Adam calls her Ishah. There's a commandment to get married. Just so you know, they weren't dressed And they weren't embarrassed about that either.

4:42 This seems to be a major theme in the condition of humanity, such that we find this concept over and over again in the story of Bereshis. For example, the very next pasuk says, 'VaHanachash Haya Arum Mikol Chayas Asod.' The Nachash was. What does "Arum" mean in this context Girls? A small. Arum. The most. Evil. The most evil, not the most evil. The most clever is classically the way that it's translated. But what does the word "Arum" literally mean? Naked. So again, we find this concept of nakedness, and then what happened? They ate from the eitz hadas. They shouldn't have eaten from the eitz hadas. What happens immediately? It says they were embarrassed. Why? Because they realized they were naked. They realized they were naked. It says vatifak, vatifakna ein eineshneym, vayedu ki arumim heim. They eat from the eitz hadas. What's the first thing? Now they realize, in fact, we're not dressed, and v'yisparaleh teina v'yasulam chagaros, and they make the fig leaf to cover their nakedness.

6:03 Adam Eishon is called out by Hakadosh Baruch Hu. Hashem says, "Where are you?" And he says, "Va'ira, why is Adam afraid?" Ki erom anochi Because I am naked. Why should Adam Eishon have been afraid? Because he just violated the commandment of God. So what is this idea that's repeated time and time again in the story of Baruches? The obsession with the fact that they weren't clothed, they were embarrassed. Then they made themselves clothed as soon as they did the avera. As soon as Hakadosh Baruch Hu called out to them, they were afraid. Why? Because they were naked. What is going on over here with Adam and Chava? And how does it relate back to this? One, it doesn't. You don't need to be a huge genius to make the jump that if the Torah says don't reveal any eruvah in the bais hamikdash in the mishkan don't ascend any steps because maybe you're going to reveal a little bit of eruvah. You don't have to be a genius to connect these two stories.

7:01 So what's going on over here? We have to understand what Adam and Chava's sin did to the world. Listen to the words of the Rambam. The Rambam and Maor Nivuchim explains that before Adam and Chava sinned There was something different in the world that changed when they sinned. The whole world changed, and that's the world we live in now. What changed? So the Rambam says, and it's difficult to understand this. We're gonna have to work a little hard to understand this. The Rambam says that before Adam and Chava sinned When Adam and Chava looked at the world. They saw things as true and false. That's the way they saw the world: true and false. After they sinned Now desire became a part of them. And instead of seeing something as true or false, they said, "I want." What does that mean? For example Let us say that I have in front of me.

8:15 I'm going to reveal something to you about myself. I'm a peanut butter brownie man myself. And just from the reaction of the crowd, I can assume that I am a member of a group. Perhaps we're not as elite a group as we think But we are peanut butter brownie people. Understand? I've been told there's a Ben and Jerry's flavor. I'm not going to say the name of it. For those who know. I'm not going to. I have my lines. It involves Netflix. That's all I'm gonna say. There's a new, there's a new flavor. I'm not saying. I'm just saying. If you know what I'm saying. I've heard that this flavor is phenomenal. I've heard it's phenomenal. I'm into that. I'm into the notion of peanut butter brownies, girls. What's a serving size of peanut butter brownies? The whole thing. The whole thing. Girls, do you realize we all have a problem in this room?

9:19 It's okay. Hi, my name is Mordechai. That's right. That's when you go, "Hi, Mordechai" " Right? Don't do it. I know how girls eat peanut butter brownies. Very politely. Half a brownie at a time. I have studied your species. Would you like to see how you eat? This is the difference between guys and girls. Would you like to see what it looks like as you eat a nine by thirteen of peanut butter brownies? I will share with you what it looks like on the outside. There's a piece. You've had your piece. So now you do this. I'm just going to have half. By the way, a decent amount of the time you announce it, which is also interesting. You cut half a brownie. You eat that brownie with a tremendous amount of shame. And when I say shame I feel unworthy of love and connection because I ate half a brownie. And then you play a game. It's hysterical to watch.

10:37 It's the I'm not looking at you staring at that brownie game. It looks like this. You ready? There's an internal dialogue as you sneak looks out of the corner of your eye at that half a brownie. And what's amazing is watching a group of girls at a table all eye the same half of brownie. But it's actually a little bit less complicated than that. Because once there's half a brownie, it's permission for somebody else at the table to go. I can't leave half there. It's uneven. And then It's the slow process of watching that nine by thirteen sliver by sliver go away. My father once did this in a group of seminary girls at his house. He ordered several pies of pizza. So he just wanted to see what would happen if he kept putting out pies. So he put out a pie, they ate it. He took back the box, and then a couple of minutes later, he came out with another pie. The girls just kept eating, and they went through many pies of pizza.

11:46 In the world of Adam and Chava, you know what that's called? That would be called false. That would be called false. Because the way that Adam and Chava would look at it is, they would say That is unnatural to the human condition. I will share with you that I am lactose intolerant. Lactose intolerant Which doesn't stop me on pizza day in Mevaseret from lying to myself and going, it's not really cheating if I just eat the cheese off the pizza, because then I'm not eating the carbs. But you have to eat a lot of cheese off a pizza to get filled up, and I'm lactose intolerant. That is called false, and I know because about two hours later, I will be in significant pain every Tuesday from the fact that I made that ridiculous decision. Just like when you're eating those brownies, sometimes literally out loud, you go, 'I shouldn't. I know I shouldn't. I just told myself last night I'm starting a diet.'

12:50 I'm going to teach you why you don't have self-control. In the world of Adam and Chava, there was desire, but desire was outside of themselves. They didn't look at things and go, "That's good and that's bad." They looked at it and said, "That's true and that's false." And by the way, you see this: there are people that are diabetic. There are people that are massively overweight. They even have television shows about them today. My 800-pound life, or whatever it's called. They have television shows about these people who are dying, these people who need to be weighed on elephant scales. It's a tragedy to watch this. The people that need to go to the zoo to get an MRI because they won't fit inside of a regular machine. It's tragic. It's a real tragedy. And yet, what do these people sometimes still do? Because of their addiction They'll continue to eat.

13:45 And they'll just eat and eat until they die. And that's a real thing. People can die of obesity. And yet, so many of us. We don't look at it and go That is a ridiculously false activity. That's the way that Adam and Chava saw it. But I want it. When Adam and Chava sinned, something changed. What changed was that desire went from being something outside of ourselves. To something inside of ourselves. Why did that happen? Why was that the condition? Why did we now walk around after the child of Adam and Chava, and so now we go? I want that peanut butter brownie. I want that pie of pizza. A serving size is nine by thirteen. Why? Why did that happen? So one amazing answer to this question is that this is exactly what the Nachash was explaining to Chava. We until the time of the sin of Adam Harishon All there was what we'll call for the rest of this year God above. When other Marishon was first created, the voice of God spoke to him.

14:55 God's commandments came from outside of himself. The Nachash, because he was an animal, a clever animal Almost a human animal, by the way Because he could talk, he was clever. He ate food. It was only when he was punished that they ate from the dust of the earth. Almost a human animal, but an animal nonetheless. The animal comes along and says to other Marishon. I'd like to suggest. This is what he said to Chaver. Rather, I'd like to suggest that there are not one but two voices of God. And by the way, he was right. The second voice of God is not God above; it's God within. Chaver says, "What's God within?" God within is what you want. If you have, that's what an animal does, right? An animal says, 'This is what I want,' so this is what I do. Why do we not have some self-control? Because we are very much like animals. Whenever I want something, I want it. That's what I have to do, right? And then we say it's so hard not to.

15:56 There's something exceptionally godly about desire. Let's not minimize desire. But when we have a desire, where does that come from? That comes from the godly consciousness that's within ourselves. That's a powerful tool. So when Chava ate from the Eitz Hadas, what happened? Exactly like the Nachash said, she became like a god. Just like God has a desire to create the world, Nesava Hakadosh Baruch Hu Lios LeYisbarach Dira B'Tachteinim. God desires to have a dwelling place in the world down below. So too we have desires, and those desires are godly. Even when they're not godly They're godly. Meaning, it comes from Hashem that we have desires. So it makes sense then, as we're thinking about this. Idea of desire becoming a part of us. It's because that's the way that Adam and Chava behaved. They said we want this, and by the way, that's what the pesukim say. Why did Chava want to eat from the Eitz Hadas?

16:54 It was a pretty tree. She desired it. She was paying attention to what was going on. The godly voice from within. Does this make sense? No. In other words What was question? How did she get the desire if all they had was? They had desire, but the desire was external to themselves. It was like true or false. Like I know, for example I should eat in a healthy way. That could be seen as true or false. I have a desire. It's not even like I have a desire for it. There's a thing that I could act in a false way There's value in paying attention to that. Enacting that way, she took that desire right, and she made it a part of herself. So it's like, for example, what do you say? What's your least favorite type of pizza? Pineapple pizza, correct? Nobody Don't do it.

17:50 There's somebody in this room right now. Don't be that person. Don't be that person. I'm warning you. Don't be that person. Somebody's gonna go. I like pineapple pizza. Don't be that person. I don't think anyone. I love pineapple pizza. Don't be that person. I'm begging you. But see, this is the thing about pineapple pizza people. You have no capacity to control yourself. I've given this sheer all over the place and all the time. There's somebody a pineapple pizza person because by the way, it is who you are. It's part of your definition. Pineapple pizza people. Say that ten times fast. Pineapple pizza people—they get offended by this. They feel the need to tell me I don't understand what you have against pineapple pizza. It's not just against pineapple pizza. It's people like you that I have a problem with. And I can only say this because I feel comfortable saying it to you. The truth is that I do it everywhere that I speak. Anybody who's like that pineapple pizza person, I go get out.

18:56 I can't. She loves pineapple pizza. She's almost crying. Blue, father. Do you like pineapple pizza? No. Good. And if your mother served you pineapple pizza, what would you say? Ew. That says more about you than it does about pineapple pizza. What I mean to say is because you've no longer identified that as like that's like. That's not the right way of making pizza. It's unnatural to pizza. It shouldn't have pineapple and pizza should never be together. But what did you say? That's disgusting. You've identified it as bad. You say thank you, mom. Like that would be. That would be. And you give it to the dog. My mom is she doesn't make it again. Was that? I said I'm honest, so I don't want her to make it again. I appreciate that. Not with the pineapple. May I ask you a question? From where in the world does your family originate?

19:59 Syria. Like the Superman of the Swarthy world. So you're like, I just my mother has to know, that's the. That's what I don't like. She knows. We go to deal in the summer. She knows the way it is. Where are you from? Muncie. Muncie. It's everyone's reaction. I'm a Five Towns kid, so I'm for sure gonna have that reaction. It says a lot. It says much worse things about me. Please don't misunderstand. When we say We don't just say that's false. We say it's immoral to have pizza with pineapple on it. We identify it because we're saying something about ourselves. It, ich, I don't desire pizza like that. So that's what changed by other Rishon's sin. So you're saying that's how she felt. Before, when she saw pineapple pizza, she just saw it as false. It's the wrong way of making pizza. After the sin, Chava said, and I am convinced there must be some midrashim, some mafashim, some rishayim, some somewhere along the way where they understood that this was the appropriate mashal. That they said it's not just false. It's immoral. It's I don't desire it. You understand? It's something about myself.

21:22 One second. One second. Let me get this point home, and then I'll open it up to questions. So now, before Adam and Chava sinned What was the condition of their nudity? How did they see it? They didn't see it. As anything It was just a fact of life. It just existed. There was nothing about the human body that was desirous. You understand? It wasn't. It was like that's a creation. Does that make sense? That's a creation. After they sinned, what changed? After they sinned, they suddenly recognized the power of desire. That's a big deal. That's a very big deal to recognize the power of desire. Now the human body can be a vehicle for immorality. Now we can do something bad with the body. As soon as they sinned, what did they realize? We're naked. The condition of the nachash is what he's naked Right? It's—it's something about him, right?

22:37 Hakadosh Baruch Hu speaks, and they're afraid. Why? They're not afraid of their nudity. What are they afraid of? We have become people of desire. That means we are dangerous people. You understand now why the whole story of Adam and Chava is not a story about how much skin is covered. It's about the fundamental way in which we interact with the world. It's why we have no self-control. We have little self-control because now. When I look at things, I identify. I desire that. I want that, and it's hard to go against your I. It's hard to have God above tame the God within. If you want to think about, perhaps you could suggest that all of Judaism comes down to that. Isn't that a little bit true? There's what I want, which sometimes aligns itself with the will of God, and sometimes it doesn't. You could make a reasonable argument that all of Judaism is about saying.

23:39 That which I desire within myself is not necessarily the best thing. It's about listening to what Hakadosh Baruch Hu wants above me. Saying no to ourselves is exceptionally hard because we have this supercharged engine of desire. It's why sometimes you could hear a she'er in Toma Devora On Shomer Negia On Snius. On lashon haru On more kavana in davening And you Right away connect to it. And let's say you're making a big deal out of yourself. Let's say you're that girl that goes over to that rebbe after shir, and you're like, I'm really inspired by that. I really don't want to go out tonight. Three hours later, she's in the middle of town. She's in the middle of the shul. How did she get there? It's an amazing thing because somebody texted her and said you should come out. You should come out, and she's like, three hours earlier. I was feeling this massive inspiration, right, God above, but now it's like, and then we start lying to ourselves. It's like that half brownie at a time, right?

24:49 I'm not gonna do anything. This time I'm not gonna do anything. I'm just gonna go out. There's nothing wrong with going out. I could go out, right? By the way, why are you already having this internal dialogue with yourself? Because it's a rationalization. You know what rationalization is? Rational lies. And now we start the process of lying to ourselves, and it is amazing the contortions that we go through to make ourselves do things that are absolutely ridiculous. You ever do this one? I've done this one. Since I'm starting my diet next week, this week is a free week. Can we please talk about this? We're yeah. Like you want to have a session? You want to on a couch? You understand? I listen. I don't think it's funny. I'm painfully aware of the lack of humor here. Was that? This is a Torah thing on this.

25:46 Like a real Torah thing. Reverend's giving us the fake Torah thing tonight, like a real Torah thing. The reason we have these rationalizations, the reason we go through this process, is because there's a part of us that is exceptionally godly. It's called your answer. I know. It's like a scary thing. What is wrong with me? Nothing. No. For real. It's important that you know this. I'm answering you for real. There's nothing wrong with you. This is the human condition. I know I'll cry about it, and I know that I'll like it. It's a legit thing. You don't have zero self control. I think maybe we should talk about this privately. Only because it's being recorded and it's going to be uploaded later. Honestly, the people who are listening to it are probably feeling the same exact way. Listen, I'm telling you the truth. How many times have I said I'm starting that diet? This time I'm going to exercise. How many people own treadmill hangers?

26:50 You know what treadmill hanger is? It's when you buy a treadmill. You use it. This what's the new one? A Peloton. A Peloton, yeah. Oh my God. That is an expensive hanger. That is an expensive. I get it. That's why I'm into yoga, because it's just the price of a mat. There's a whole industry. Nobody goes to gyms. There's a whole billion dollar industry of people going to gyms. They sign up on New Year's. By the following week, these gyms are empty. There's nobody there. There's people that come to classes, go a week or two at a time, and then they fall apart because it's so difficult to follow through. I just can't. You know what my one of my favorite things in the world is? This is not nice to say. You want to hear one of my favorite things in the world? I grew up in the Five Towns. There's a gym called Club Central.

27:50 Right down the block from Club Central is a cafe called Central Perk. One of my favorite things in the world is when I would be living in the Five Towns and I'd be hanging out with the owner of Central Perk. There's a lot of people coming in. Women are coming from the gym. And they've clearly just worked out Because they're still in their gym clothing. And then they sit down and go for it. And I'm like Do you think you earned it? Like, what's the? Since you worked out, you can eat them. But it doesn't work that way. You put on the workout. It doesn't work because you will lose. I've done that by the way. I'm skinnier now because I have sneakers on. I'm not gonna go there. The so the if you're working out, maybe you lost 500 calories. That's amazing. That's a muffin.

28:46 And I just saw you have ten. And I don't care what they say; those things are not low fat. And I don't even know what the word 'low' means. I want to ask them: What does 'low' mean? When you say 'low fat,' I want to understand what your definition of 'low' is. Is it three quarter cups of oil? It's almost right. Do they mean "low" or just "lower"? Because there's a major difference there. And so we all struggle with this. It's the human condition. It's also ours to fight. You see. This is very relevant to us. It is very relevant to us. Because this year, in so many ways It's a harshina year. It's a kabbalah satora year. How many of us? Don't answer out loud. The answer is probably many. How many of us in high school did this thing where we said "Yeah, but I'm I'm like going to seminary, so I was just like." I'll do it in sem, right? How many? How many of us did that? Like, kick the can down the road Like I'll take care of it in seminary. I was in ninth grade when I made that decision. Not the seminary part. I was in ninth grade when I made that decision.

30:01 I realized there was no way to be cool and frum. I chose cool. And I kicked the can down the road, and I said one day I'll go to yeshiva. I'll figure it out then. I'll be one of those guys. By the way, I really like was like that consciously. I was the guy in eleventh grade who was watching guys come back from Israel around Pesach time, and as they walked into the school, I was checking them out. Okay, which yeshiva did he go to, and what does he look like? Right? Because if he's From I want to know which yeshiva he went to because I'm looking for that. And by the way, nobody knew that on the outside. On the outside, I was being judged by a series of rebbeim who were judging me for my actions. And I get it because on the outside, how could they have known that on the inside I was looking? I went to Mivaseret because a guy that I liked came back looking from. That's the whole reason. I really didn't know much about it.

30:47 I really like I didn't. I just like I thought I knew because I remember when that guy came back and he came to Daven and all of a sudden he was like you know. Davening, like it was, but it was like you know, like davening, like he was clearly present in his davening. I was like, that's pretty cool. I want to be like that. Which shiut he got to? He's like Mavasar. I'm like, okay, that's where I'm going. And when I got rejected from Mavasar That is true. Rejected is a strong word. I was waitlisted, and it's not like today, where it's a kind letter. You're on the waiting list forever. And when they came back to give me a second interview, by the way, because the two kids that they rejected in the school, my parents were one of the founding families, and the other kid, his father was the president of the school. So I can't tell you for sure, but I'm pretty sure some strings were pulled along the way, and they came back for a second interview. And I'll never forget the interviewer, who's now the head of all of most of Mivaseret. The interviewer sat me down and he said, "Look, my uncle doesn't want you in the yeshiva. That was the Rosh Yeshiva. So tell me why I should go fight for you."

31:53 Most people don't know this about me, but I've been waiting to go to Israel for the last four years. I've been kicking the can down the road, and I'm a good gamble. And I guess he believed me And now I'm the Menahel of the issue, right? So I'm just saying, Mamba out. But this is our Matan Torah year, right? This is our year where we say Kabbalas Torah happens now. There's a great line from one of the rabbis in one of the high schools. I won't tell you which one, but the initials are DRS. It's a great line, by the way. That's a good joke. That's better than you girls laughed at. I'm just gonna hold it over you for a little bit. He has a great line. He says, "In this school, you get bar mitzvah either at thirteen or at eighteen when you go to Israel for the year." Sharp line A little too true.

32:43 He's right because a lot of us were kicking the can down the road. So how does the parsha culminate? It references the whole story of Baruchus. You see, in the Bais Hamikdash, in the Mishkan, you have to be exceptionally careful about being covered. Why? Because in Judaism, we don't deny our humanity. We don't pretend that we're something that we're not. What we are is people of desire. It's why people make mistakes. We are people of desire, and we should know that we are turbocharged. It's why so often we want things that we know are not good for us. And as you're climbing the mizbeach As you're going to bring a korban to become close to Hashem The way to do that, and this is not a shmoos about sneias, so you don't have to turn off your ears. The way to do that is by recognizing who we are and being appropriate.

33:48 If we have desires, that means we have to think about which way those desires will tilt. There's nothing wrong with having a desire. The question is, what do you do with it? Many years ago I heard a story from Rav Moshe Weinberger Shlita. Those of you that don't know of Weinberger, I hope all of you know of Weinberger. Weinberger is the Rav of a kehillah in Woodmere called Eish Kodesh. He's inspired. To say tens of thousands is for sure true. Probably hundreds of thousands of Jews through his teachings of Chassidus. So when I was still living in America, I used to go as often as possible to hear Weinberger speak because his words just penetrated my soul. That's it was just right there. He was the oxygen tank. So he told a story. He was a Rebbe in Ezra Academy. You guys know what Ezra Academy is?

34:44 I know. Ezra academy in queens, new york. Ezra Academy was a yeshiva for kids that weren't necessarily coming from homes. It was a Kiruv yeshiva. Rav Weinberger was an amazing rebbe there. And there was a guy in his class who was a real thug. And this guy was a ganav. He was a ganav. He was a thief. And it was well known that he was a thief. So one day. Rav Weinberger told the class he had one of those big vans, those big yeshivish vans. Not talking about a brand new two thousand twenty one. I'm talking about a van, like a bus for a family, one of those things. They have those mirrors, those square mirrors that go off the side of the van, and they're this much out. Rav Weinberger said that sometimes his wife would drive the van, and sometimes she'd come home, and there would not be mirrors anymore on the side of the van.

35:44 So one day this thug, Ganiv, comes into class and he goes, "Rabbi, don't worry. I just want to let you know. I noticed you were missing a mirror on the side of your car. I replaced the mirror." So Rav Weinberger looks at him and goes, "I told you this. It's worth it here anyway." Rav Weinberger said Where'd you get the mirror from, Rabbi? Don't worry, man. Took care of you." Weinberger goes "Where'd you get the mirror from, Rabbi?" Like it's good. Don't worry about it. The guy wasn't admitting it. Halfway through the class, the English principal walks in. She looks at the kid and says, "What'd you do with my mirror?" So this kid starts explaining to the principal. He's like, "Look, you're great, but you're only a principal. This is a rabbi." " That's so cute. That's so cute. He said. And Rav Weinberger Rav Weinberger said that today that guy is still a ganef.

36:42 He's still a ganef. He's a gamer for time. He chaps every single minute. He's a bala mechaber of Sfarim now. He lives in Lakewood. He's a big Talmud chacham. The same guy. But focused. It's not about becoming someone else. It's about taking the desire, the passion, the energy, the enthusiasm that you have and pointing it in the right direction. I'm going to tell you about a guy who today is a talmud. That I'm privileged to learn tire with. He's an unbelievable guy. The letters ADHD apply to him in every meaning of the word. He is in sheer last week. Sometimes he gets up and walks around. I understand he needs to. He's got the letters. There's a bench in the back of the shiur. He stood on the bench. He was standing on the bench in the back of the shiur. I understand he's still there. He's learning. He's standing on the back of the bench. The bench has one of those like lips on the side, like a back. Then he was standing on the lip, balancing on the lip in the middle of she'er.

37:48 And the only thing I could think to myself, as he's standing there in the middle while I'm teaching she'er, as he's balancing on the back of the chair, I cannot wait until this guy is in chumach Because he's going to be a powerhouse. He's going to be a superstar. He is so smart. So exceptionally talented. He's unbelievable. And unfortunately, we live in a system that wants to crush people like that. You're not sitting in your chair. You're not sitting in your chair. Who says sitting in your chair is the best way of learning? Who made that decision? Who made that decision? I'm an ADHD kid. I don't have ADHD right now because I'm the one talking, and I'm standing up. I'm getting all the stimulation. You see me walking around. This guy is a superstar. He's a superstar. All he needs to do is focus it in the right direction.

38:46 As we have our Har Sinai experience this year Ask yourself this: Have you thought perhaps that being from means losing yourself, like you can't be fun anymore, you can't be that amazing personality? Because if you have, you're headed on the wrong path. I'll share with you a story. This is not a nice story about me. The mashgiach of Mevaserah twenty-two years ago was a very interesting man. He was very aware of what the boys were doing and not doing. He sat in a particular corner of the bais medrash, and he had a big window right by his makom, and he saw me walking to the bais medrash. There was a guy in the yeshiva, a madrich in the yeshiva, whose name was Roi Tzadok Roi Tzadok, Keshamo Kenhu, an unbelievable tzadok. One of those guys that's How's everything? I admired Roi Sadok. I wanted to be like Roi Sadok.

39:48 There was another guy in yeshiva. Today he goes by the name Usher Vogel. I remember him when he was Adam. Usher Vogel went to Ramaz. Big, long, blonde hair. When I was in the vassaret, he was in the kollel in the vassaret. Back in the day, I imagine he was like a regular dude. But now he was Hi, my name is Usher, and I was like, "Hey, I'm Matt." I admired him. I wanted to be like him. So one day I was walking to the beis medrash from the back of the beis medrash, and I was walking up the mountain like the Rebbe says, and he gathers around me and I'm clasping my hands together close to my chest and I'm measuring my steps. All of a sudden, I hear out of the window, "Berg, what are you doing?" So I look up. I'm like Yes, Rabbi. He goes, "Come here right now!"

40:42 So I quickly Quickly went to the beis medrash And I said, "Yes, Rabbi." And he looks at me. He goes, "You're not vocal." So I said, innocently, "I was shana alef or shana bet at that time." I said But I'm not supposed to strive to be like that. He said, no, you're not supposed to strive to be like that. That's not you. You're gonna lose yourself. It's not gonna last and you're gonna lose yourself. I didn't really understand it a hundred percent at the time. Mashgiyach had a very interesting way about him. One time In the beis medrash, night seder, he's sitting on his corner, and I was sitting all the way on the opposite corner of the beis medrash. When all of a sudden, I hear from across the room, Berg Middle of the beis medrash. Sì, Rabbi. So he calls out to me. He goes, "I was walking through the park on the way to yeshiva tonight to get the bus. I saw a couple of kids acting inappropriately. I remembered I have to speak to Berg tonight, so come on over."

41:52 So of course I was like And I went with you. I went to discuss it with other rabbis. I'm like, why does Rabbi Waldman do that? And they explained to me. They said because what you're trying to do It's not the it's not the way. It's not the way to be somebody that you're not. It's the way to be true to who you are. You have a power. Don't lose that. Could you imagine what my chinuch career would look like if I got up here and told the bar and I was like In this week's parasha. At the end of the parsha, it says No, and half of you are out instantaneously. You might respect me a lot more because you go like he's a really good person instead of the guy that just has Tourette's of the mouth and says whatever he wants every week, which I get.

42:46 That was inappropriate, but nobody would come. You've heard my good friend Ravgov. Yes. He mentioned you in his speech. He mentioned me. Now I'm going to mention him. Your daughter. He's not allowed to tell that story. He did it. Dad's not. Later, I thought about it. I want you to know I know Ravgov since he was sixteen. He's the same guy now as he was then. He's the same, but isn't that awesome? He took all that talent that he had when he was 16 years old, playing guitar on the front steps of his house. All that talent that made them throw him out of school in 11th grade. All that talent And he said, "I'm going to dedicate myself to learning Torah and sharing Torah in my way." That's amazing. He has taught Torah to thousands of people across the globe because somebody along the way told him "Be true to yourself. You have a tremendous power, but be careful with that power." It has to be aligned appropriately. You have to be modest with it.

43:52 If you have that power and you're sloppy, and you just send it all over the place, and you do whatever you want, then you've lost sight of it. We are driving Teslas. That's what we are. We have such exceptional power. Don't drive it off the road. Do your best. Do your best as a process in life. Stay modest with that power. Girls, we'll stop here for tonight.