Parshas Tazria/Metzorah - Tahor, Tahor

1:53 You need to have first the white patch, and then the hairs, if they grow white from the white patch, you're considered a mitzora. What happens if you don't know? What happens if you're unsure what came first? This is machlokas. Hashem said, 'tahor,' the person is not a mitzora, and the Mesivta Derechia, the Academy of Up on High, strongly disagreed. Hakadosh Baruch Hu. These people are tameh. This is what the Gemara tells us, and they have to decide. They have to make a decision: who's right, Hashem, or the tzaddikim sitting in the Mesivta Derechia? We would naturally think. But don't worry. There's an end to this Gemara. We'll see what the Gemara means. Fascinating Gemara. You won't understand it yet, but soon. So they said we need to bring in Rabbi Bar Nachmani.

2:51 Rabbi Bar Nachmani said about himself, Yachid ben Nagaim, I am singular in the area of Nagaim, meaning I am. What's the English word for it? I'm singularly knowledgeable in the area of Nagaim, meaning in this realm, nobody knows as much as me. So they said in the Mesivta derikia, if we want to pass in this shaila of what happens if we're unsure. If the white patch came first, where the hairs come first, then we have to bring Rabbi Bar Nachmani up to Shamayim. So they dispatched the Malachamavas. Malachamavas, go bring us Rabbi Bar Nachmani. The Malachamavas comes down into the world, but Rabbi Bar Nachmani is learning Torah, and the Malachamavas can't get to him. But remember that Rabbi Bar Nachmani was being persecuted, was being chased by the government, and he heard a rustle in the leaves.

3:49 And he thought that it was some battalion, some group of soldiers that had come to get him, and so he davened and he said, 'Better that they should, better that I should die than I should be taken alive by these people to be tortured.' So the Malcham Avos had his in because he was asking to be dead. So the Malcham Avos said, 'Good,' and he took him up to the Mesivta Derechia to Pasquin the Shilah. Who's right, Hashem or the Mesivta Derechia? Rabbi Mar Nachmani comes up. And he pronounces. They give him the shayla, and the Gemara says it said that he was saying, 'Tahor.' Meaning, who did he agree with? He agreed with Hashem, and that's the way we pasquined. And then a baskal comes out from Shamayim and says, 'Asherecha, how great are you? How happy are you? How lucky are you?' Rabbi Bar Nachmani, your body is tahor, your soul is tahor, and your dying words were tahor, tahor. Meaning, your whole life was tahara.

4:48 This is a very strange Gemara. From beginning to end, this is a very strange Gemara. First of all, what in the world is Rabbi Bar Nachmani doing in a swamp? Why is he sitting on a stump of a palm tree? The Gemara, when the Gemara tells us these details, are relevant. The Gemara just could have said he was somewhere. The truth is, the Gemara doesn't even tell us that he was somewhere. What do we care where he was? If the Gemara tells us that he was in a swamp and that he was sitting on the stump of a palm tree. There's significance there. We need to unpack what's the inner message that's being taught to us. Then there's the second question that some of you called out: how could there possibly be a debate between Hashem and the Masivta Derechina? It's like kaviyachol, and obviously I mean this not at all. But if you have your like.

5:42 Local Orthodox Rabbi who's like, I think this is the psak, and then you have Rav Al Yashiv or Rav Moshe Feinstein who's like, no, it's not. We don't have a shilu. The Mesivta derikia they were huge, but Hakadosh Baruch Hu is the be all and end all. Hashem knows what His will is. So what could it possibly mean that Hashem said one thing and the Mesivta derikia argued? Now maybe some of you girls are very learned in Gemara and maybe you remember that there is another Gemara like this. Where there was a person who said, "If I'm right, let a baskal come out from Shamayim and say that I'm right." But that, of course, because you're very learned in Gemara, all of you girls, you're all like, "Yes, we know that Gemara. We've learned it and chazored it many times." So, of course, this Gemara you maybe not know, but that Gemara I know you know well. So you're probably saying, "Rabbi Burg, what do you mean? We already see lo baShemayim he." But girls, this machlokus is not taking place down in this world. Where is this machlokus taking place? Up in Shamayim.

6:38 So it could be that maybe down here in this world you'll say the Torah was given over to man and we have a responsibility to pass in the way that we understand. Fine, I'm with you. I understand. I agree. But up in Shamayim, how could there possibly be a debate between Hashem and anyone? If Hashem says this is the psak, then that's the psak. And then they do the strangest thing. I would have assumed there's no debate, and yet Hakadosh Baruch Hu goes, "Fine." We'll let Rabbi Bar Nakhmani decide. A mere mortal is going to decide this shaila, and what does he decide in the end? He decides like Hashem. So now Hashem is victorious. You were Hashem. You didn't need Rabbi Bar Nakhmani in the first place. The fact that Rabbi Bar Nakhmani comes up and pasks and says, I agree with Hashem. Now that means Hashem is right. Hashem was right beforehand. Why do we need Rabbi Bar Nakhmani here to decide? And also, why does Rabbi Bar Nakhmani say tahor? What should Rabbi Bar Nakhmani have said? He should have said tar. He says tahor. What does that mean? Each detail in the Gemara is going to unfold and unpack for us layers and layers of understanding of deep, deep ideas. Tonight is not a light shear; it's a very deep shear. And then finally, what does this baskol mean? A shrecha, your body was tahor.

8:05 Your soul was tahar, and your dying words were tahar. What's that got to do with anything? So I want to share with you tonight a pshat. I would say, ninety-five percent of this pshat is based on the Levav Chacham Rebbe. A couple percentage points are my own little addendums. Whatever you don't like, just assume that it's mine. Whatever you do like, assume that it's the Rebbe's. The last question was. What's the value of leaving the world with tahara on your lips? Like your body is tahar, your soul is tahar, and you left with the word tahara on your lips. Who cares? This is a very esoteric idea, a fundamental, a foundational idea that all of us need to lock in. There are two forces that exist in every one of us.

9:00 And two forces that often feel conflicting, but as we'll see, these two forces for our life to be successful, they need to be harmonious. These forces, in Kabbalistic language, are called Ratzo B'shav. Some of you have heard this terminology before. Ratzo B'shav. Ratzo B'shav means as follows. Ratzo means that I want to run, that I want to escape. Shav means I want to settle. I want to be present. Both are absolutely critical to our experience, and I'll give you an example. When do we have feelings like I just want to run, like I just want to escape? I can't be held in this body anymore. So that's when something as exciting is happening. When something, when we're yearning for something, it's like I don't want to give a bad example. I'll give a sweet example. Imagine it's three days before your wedding.

10:01 Relax. It's our first day back. Let me feel. I have a month without hearing anybody say I'm mean to any of the things that I said. Let me settle back. And nobody even said I'm mean to my brachos. People were like, "It's a beautiful thing." Shachol niavedvaro. Everybody was silent. The it's three days before your wedding. You're not speaking to your chasim. You've adopted yourself on yourself. The beautiful minute of not speaking a week. By the way, it's a week. Don't do don't do ten days. Don't do two weeks. I hear that people are getting very from, and that people are like barely speaking to each other now. I don't know. I don't know what we're talking about here. But anyway, it's three days before him. What's the feeling you have? You're going out of your kalim. You're going out of your skin. I just want to talk to him. I just want to see him.

10:56 My daughter, before her chasuna, a couple days before chasuna, like many kollels, she was going out of her kelim. She was like, I just want. She said to me, "It was so sweet. It was so beautiful." She said, "Abba, the hardest thing is the person that I want to share with how hard this is. Is exactly the person that I can't speak to." I say the same story in yeshiva. You know what the reaction is? Nothing. Nobody. I'll take that one. So there's a feeling, there's a yearning and excitement, the passion. I can't stay here. I can't stay in this box anymore. I have to be there. He's like, come already, come on, let's go. Right? There's a feeling that the neshama has. I don't want to be in this body anymore. There's a feeling. I just want to be with Hashem. I don't want to be stuck here in this world. I just want to be connected. It's to be transcendent, to be larger than yourself. That's called divirutza.

11:57 Then there's another one, another movement. It's called Shuv to settle. Because if a person is always Ratzo, they never do anything. Like, you know that couple that they're so madly in love with each other. There's so much Ratzo. There's so much just running. They go on vacation. They're doing. It's a honeymoon, right? If your entire life is like that, what do you have? Nothing, because you've not settled that love into reality.

12:27 You've not built a home. You've not done the hard work of being with each other when you're not in the mood, right? That's called shuv to be settled. Shuv comes when you have feelings of humility, when you have feelings of commitment. Shuv is, I know that we just want to run away together, but that's not the right thing to do. The right thing to do is to take that transcendent feeling that we have. And there are times where we have to live like that. We have our vacations, we have our honeymoons, but marriage also must happen in the day-to-day of coming in, being in a bad mood, and learning to hold that bad mood so that I could greet you with a smile when you walk in the door. You know what I mean? Both have to happen at once. If you have one or the other, it's like you skip a heartbeat. What do we call that when you skip a heartbeat? It's a heart attack, right? Your heart has to beat. You have to have a regular heartbeat.

13:25 If you have an irregular heartbeat, that's a dangerous thing. If you have too much, there are people that are all rotzal. You know these people? These people are like, you know, I call these people. These are the people that don't pack for vacation. You know what I'm talking about? I'm looking just to see right now who understands what I'm talking about. About 30% of you know what I'm talking about. People that when it comes to vacation, they pack that morning. What do they throw in their suitcase? Whatever. And what do they say when you're like you didn't pack? Like it'll be fine. We're going to a place that has stuff, right? And you're like, yeah, but you have the stuff already. Why don't you just take the stuff with you? You're nodding your head because you're not you're not that person. You're saying yeah, take the stuff with you. I'm like that too. If I cannot spend money, I'm so Jewish. If I cannot spend money, I'm like I don't ever want to do this, right? There are people that are like let's just go. We're going. We're going. And then there's always the wives that are like that are always like, okay, settle down now, like.

14:17 Let's actually plan this vacation. What are we gonna do? Where are we gonna go? How are we gonna get there? What do we need? There are some people. My wife is one of these people. Whenever we have a tiyul as a family, if we go out, we bring a box of food. Some people bring a knapsack. We bring a box of food. What's in that box? Whatever you need, just in case. My mother is like this. I'm embarrassed to say this. She's an amazing person. One of the best people I've ever met. My mother has very few flaws. One flaw that she has. I shouldn't say this publicly. It's Loshen Har in the middle of Shirya Somer, but it's a beautiful flaw. She wore a fanny pack when I was a kid. Do you understand how for a little boy to see your mother walking around the five thousand with a fanny pack? Can we unpack my trauma here together? You're shaking your head, so you know what I'm talking about. Did your mom wear a fanny pack also? She didn't, but she's the type of person that would make me feel a little better. Thank you, I appreciate the half not. My mom was fanny pack and proud. She was like.

15:14 And if you ask my mother, do you have this? She goes, absolutely. And she goes, What do you have in there, mom? What do you need? I've got band. It was like the Batman pack, right? Anything you needed, Inspector Gadget. You could play anything. You got bandages. You need Neosporin. You need Advil. This woman was packing everything. Why? Just in case. Just in case my kids will fall and they'll scrape a knee. My mother had like iodine to put on there. Like alcohol rub. Whatever it was, we were always. My mother had stitches in there. Like buttons, extra buttons. God knows what was in that thing.

15:45 And it was unusually small for something that contains soap. It was like a base Hamigdosh that thing. You know what I'm saying? Like it expanded and contracted in the same time. That's called being a Shav person, settled, ready, organized, bringing all that passion down into reality, making it real. It's humble. It's committed. Does that make sense? Those are the two movements that we all have. What are these movements again? Ratzah means to run, to escape. I just want to like leave my body, and shov to come back down. Where do we see this in the world of Yiddishkeit? Sometimes we have moments of such inspiration, like I just want to go. Let's just go. I just want to go, right? My soul wants to leave my body. But what does shov say in the world of inspiration? Shov says, you had that amazing moment of inspiration. That's awesome. One two punch. What's the second thing now? Make it real.

16:44 That's every Rebbe's shmuz that you heard growing up your entire life. If you have a moment of inspiration, they quote the Rebbe. If you have a moment of inspiration, what do you have to do? Make a kabbalah on yourself, right? Don't lose the moment of inspiration. Make a kabbalah. Make it real right now. Say what I'm going to do. There was a Rebbe in Mevaseret. He's not in Mevaseret anymore, unfortunately. I love this guy. He was an amazing Rebbe. He would get up and he would say, 'Rabbi,' he'd give a massive pump up shmuz, and then he would say, 'Stand up if you're going to be a kabbalah on yourself to do X.' And I always get like 80 of the guys to stand up. Of course, like 10 of the guys would do it, but 80 of the guys would stand up. Why? Because he told them it's not enough just to have the inspiration from a speech. You have to be settled. You have to be humble enough to make it real. That's Ratzvishov. Listen to this Chiddush. This is a wild blowaway Chiddush. It was worth coming back to Talmud Ivora just for six, seven weeks, just to hear the Chiddush. It's an amazing Chiddush.

17:43 What happens when we're unbalanced? What happens if we're too much rapture and not enough shove? Too much, I want to leave this world. Not enough when I'm in this world. Says the Lebavitcher Rebbe, you become a mitzora. What does that mean? If your soul leaves your body, if there's a part of your soul that leaves your body, you develop a white patch. What does that white patch signify? It means that now you have an area that's dead. You have an area in your of your body that's no longer receiving vitality. It's no longer receiving life force. That part of your body, it's no longer receiving. It's not being nourished from the life force. It's not there. You know what I mean? So now, the question is like this. Do we have an area of your life that's dead, but nothing is growing? So you're not yet a mitzora. Until you have negative energy that's being born from that dead place, you're not a mitzora. But when do you become a mitzora? When you're so much ratzo, so much I'm leaving my body, so unsettled, so uncommitted that now bad things are starting to happen.

19:11 Because while it may appear to be, and this is a very big chiddush, while it may appear to be that the person who's inspired, who their soul just wants to leave their body, you would think that person is so selfless, no? Like they're just so amazing, they're so on fire. But the truth is that if it's not balanced by shav, if it's not balanced by being settled, by being humble, by being brought into reality. It's not selfless. It's selfish and it's indulgent. It's a failure to be committed. I'll tell you what this looks like. Let's go back to our marshal of a marriage. Let's say you have a husband who's desperately in love with his wife. And when I say desperately, I mean this guy is like 20 years into his marriage and he's still like, no, you hang up first. That guy. But where is he when his wife asks him to take out the garbage?

20:09 Where is he when his wife wants to talk? Where is he when it's not exciting? Where is he when it comes to taking responsibility for the family? When you're young, you think it's not your fault that you don't know. You don't have to know everything. You just have to be willing to learn. You want a man who's going to show up and do the work. You want a man who's going to bring home a parnaso, who's going to take care of your family. You want a man who's resilient, who, when the going gets tough, steps up and says, "I've got this." You want a man who knows how to weather the storm of life, because life is chaotic. You want a man you can rely on. You want a man who does the dishes.

21:04 And he doesn't do the dishes always with a puppy dog look on his face, like I'm so happy to serve you. Sometimes he just does the dishes. You want a man like that because you want to feel that our relationship is not theoretical. It's not just I love you. It's also I love you in action. If it's just I love you in feeling, that's great. You feel amazing things about me. But like Chazal say, Ki haMeisahu haEker. At the end of the day, if your love doesn't take hold, if it doesn't become real, if it's not something tangible and if it's not something measurable, then it's beautiful that you have these amazing transcendent emotions. But our marriage is a sham. There's an empty space, and in that empty space, please make room for them to come in. Are those Jews people? Come, please. Great, get as many chairs as you want. Let's move in a little bit. It could very well be.

22:00 It could very well be that you'll say, 'It's amazing that he loves me. It's true.' A couple like this, when they go into therapy, the husband goes, 'I don't know, I think I'm going to say... I don't understand what she wants from me. I love her so much.' The wife says, 'I know you do, but why are you never around then?' Because if you really loved me, we would do things together, and not fancy things. Didn't I just take you to the Bahamas? Didn't I just take you to the Caribbean? You show up on vacation. I want to know if you're going to show up when I'm tired and I'm sick and I just need somebody to help me out. And it's not exciting, because it could be that a person is so in love, but who are they really in love with? They're in love with themselves. They're in love with the feeling of being in love. They're not in love with another person.

22:50 All they're really doing is indulging their own selfish desire to feel awesome about another person. The only way you know that's good is if there's also a shove. And by the way, the only way you know the shove is real is if there's also ratzo. Because if all we do is the stuff together, if all we do is the day-to-day slog, and we don't actually feel deep things about each other, then what are we? We're also like, okay, we're. A woman once told me, she was on her second marriage. She was an elderly woman when she got married again, and she was always nervous about if her husband really loved her, if he would stay with her, because they were an elderly couple. And she had a line. She said, "All that we share between us is a shopping cart." What she meant to say is, it's cheaper to buy groceries together than to buy them separate. When a person all you have is the shopping cart, and you're missing that transcendent love, something is missing. You need to have both.

23:46 A mezora is a person whose soul has left his body. He is all rapture, but now there's a place. Instead of having the shuv, it's not settled. So what is there? There's an empty white patch, and on that empty white patch, what's growing? Things are starting to grow. White hairs, meaning negativity is starting to grow in that place. Bad things are coming from a place where there's no godly vitality. There's three perspectives on creation. The Alter Rebbe in Tanya says there's three perspectives of the relationship between Hashem and creation. I'm asking you. I know it's hard. I know we're already 25 minutes in, Kama. It's hard what I'm about to say, especially for some of you. It'll be new. I hope that it won't be new for all of you, but really lock in because this is a fundamental idea. There's three ways you could see the relationship between man, between creation and Hashem.

24:42 One way, we'll take this cup of water for example, is called Memale Kol Olman. God fills up the world. Do we have one of those cool markers that writes on a board? We do. There might be in the dining room. It doesn't matter. It's not that important. I could do it with my words. It would have been easier to say. Memaleh Kol Olam means that Hashem fills up the world, like a soul fills up a body. If Hashem is infinite, is there a place where He is not? That means that the thing is what it is because the godly light filled it up. But if it's inside the thing itself, that means that light had to have been refracted. That's called simson. You've heard of the term simson before. If you're not sure, don't worry about it. If the light is coming directly from the infinite into the thing, in order for the thing to contain it.

25:30 That light needs to be refracted so that it could actually get into the cleat. I'm going to say this again because it was a hard one. I see that I lost about 60% of you. I'm hoping to get that number from 60% to about 20%. The last 20% you're on your own, but I'm hoping to get from 60% to 20%. One more time. I've got a thing. We'll call it creation. God is infinite. If he's infinite, he's everywhere. Does that mean he's in creation? Absolutely. Like a soul fills up a body, right? In order for the thing to be itself, what does it need to be filled with? The godly light. Otherwise, it could not be. But since it's infinite and this thing is finite, what does the light have to go through? It has to go through refractions. I got about another ten percent of you just now. It has to go through refractions in order that the light could be appropriate.

26:15 To fill up that vessel, imagine if they poured in a zillion tons of electricity into this light, what would happen? The light would explode. This light that's coming into this lamp right now is refracted so that the lamp should be able to hold it. That's level number one, called Memalek Olman, God fills up all the worlds with His light. But there is a second level, and this is paradoxical, difficult to understand. You have to get this idea in order to cap the end of this year. Level number two is if God is infinite, then He can be contained nowhere. You can't point to any one place and say there is God, and so that's what we call a surrounding light. Because of course God is still influencing the world with His infinity. Every aspect of creation is being influenced by Him, but no place can contain Him. So the light is both what we call within, that was level number one, and level number two is also a surrounding light.

27:11 Within and surrounding. If you're surrounding, do you need to be refracted? Because it only needs to be refracted if it's engaging directly. See why it would have been cool to have a marker here? Because then I wouldn't have to be making these weird moves with my hand. I'd be able to point to things. One more time. If the light is direct, the infinite light of God direct with the thing, the light has to be refracted, but it makes the thing what it is. Level number two, God can't be contained anywhere. You can't point to any one place and say there is God. So how is His light interacting with creation? We call it a surrounding light. And here's where it gets really deep. There's a third level. This level is called the level of essence. Girls, take a moment right now. Imagine in your head a person who's thinking. See him? See her? See?

28:07 To you, that person is just you. It's a being that you conjured up in your imagination. Who is it? It's you. But if you could talk to the girl in your head that you just created, what would she say about herself? I'm not you. I'm me. From the perspective of God, who are we? We're His imagination. I love when that happens. That little unrest, that little shifting of the chairs, the rolling of the eyes, the I don't understand what just happened. I say it one more time. Did he just say we don't exist? We do exist. But from his perspective, what are we? We're him. That's very real. That's the most real thing that could possibly be, because you think about what's real is what you can touch or feel. Yes. Why is his mind not real? Why are thoughts not real? Because tangible means touch. You just said. I said it before. Remember. You know, the whole idea is that if you want to be a good editor, you have to read the text carefully. You think that only that which is real is that which can be touched. Do you? And then, there's also this question: who's the I? Who's the I that thinks? You said I control what I think. Yes. Who's the I? Is it tangible? Are you tangible?

29:36 You are. So the you that thinks is the hand that you just touched. That's part of me. Is it, or is it the expression of you? What's the thing that's moving those fingers? Can you touch that? If you and I are having, so if you believe that, which I know you don't, if you believe that, then you would probably argue that a handicapped person is less of a person because after all they have less body. But of course you don't believe that because you don't believe that you are your body. You believe that you're something deeper than your body, something that can't be touched, can't be measured.

30:06 So if that's true, then only the thought counts. Or the opposite: the thing that thinks the thought is the only thing that counts. So actions are. I wouldn't say that at all. In fact, I would say, as we just said before, that when the thing that thinks those thoughts brings it down into the reality of action, that's very meaningful in terms of the Lamaisa. Hold. I think at this point we're having a chabrusa. It's probably not a good idea to continue. You could ask me afterwards. One second. What? Eine Minute bitte, as they say in Germany, which means one moment, please. I have to say it in German to keep classroom management. I learned this in college. They taught me how to manage the classroom. They said, "Be really funny, and then we'll see what happens." I got old. I made corny ABA jokes. Still successful. So one more time. I've got the light that fills up the world. God is infinitely relating to His creation, but it's through the refracted light. I've got God infinitely relating to the creation, not refracted, but surrounding.

31:05 And then there's a third level. When God looks at the creation, what does He see? Sees Himself. Wait one moment. Let's go back to the story of Raba Bar Nachmani. Listen what the Shita Mekubetzes brings in the name of the Abbeinu Chanano. He says this story of Raba Bar Nachmani. Is a dream. It's a type of dream that Rabbi Bar Nachmani was having. This is what the Rabbeinu Chananel says, brought down by the Shita Mekubetzas. He was having a dream. Obviously, there could be no machlokus between Hashem and the Mesivta Derechia, but he was having an epiphany. He was having an awakening, an understanding. Something was coming into Rabbi Bar Nachmani's mind at that moment, and in his mind, there were people up in Shamayim, in this Mesivta Derechia, in this academy up on high.

32:02 And there were people that were sitting close to Hashem and people that were sitting farther from Hashem. 1. And the people who are not listening, they're not going to be able to hear you. So if I have a question about this, can I ask it? 2. Okay, so the people that were sitting close to Hashem they were having the following argument: If you don't know which one came first, the white patch or the hair, it's tahor. The people that were farther from Hashem said, "If you don't know, it's tameh." What were those tzaddikim arguing about? So listen, what we're listening to this pshat. This is an unbelievable pshat. A life-changing, game-changing pshat. This changes the way you see the world. Those people that were sitting next to Hashem, those tzaddikim in the Mesivta Derechia, in the dream of Rabbi Baruch Meni, those people said, from the perspective of not the memalekholam and not the light that fills up creation, but from the perspective of the surrounding light.

32:56 From the perspective of the infinite, unrefracted, man is good. Okay, so man is selfless. Man should not be translated into other languages. If you don't know if a person was all ratzo and no shuv, what would you assume? You would assume he's good. He's balanced. Ratzo and shuv. He has it both ways, and therefore, what would you proclaim? You would proclaim tahir. I'll say it again. Make sure everyone gets it. It's a deep idea. I told you, girls, tonight's not easy. It's a deep idea, but it's a game-changing idea. Rabbi Bar Nachmani is saying those tzaddikin that were sitting closest to Hashem, the infinite light, unrefracted, surrounding all worlds. What would that perspective look like? That perspective is if you're judging a person, and you want to know is that person acting selfishly or selflessly.

33:49 Are they all rotzoh and no shuv, or are they balanced? What would your natural inclination be? Your natural inclination would be to say people are good. Comes along the tzaddikim that are sitting farther from the from Hakadosh Baruch Hu in the Mesivta Derechia, and they're saying, from the perspective of the light filling up the world, what does creation say? Creation says, "I am real." Like you were saying a moment ago, what I what's real is what I can touch. If you believe that what's real is what you can touch, you know what you're going to end up being in life. Your natural inclination is going to be selfish, and most people in this world do act selfishly. In fact, if I even tell you that there's a concept called selfless, some of you are not going to believe me.

34:37 Somewhere you're gonna go. Really, everything you do on some level is for you, even if you have kids, right? Some people right now are gonna say it's not true. It's not true what you're saying, but I know why you're saying it because from the perspective of the memalek almen, which is our perspective, because we're farther from Hashem, we feel like everything on some level must be selfish. It's of course not true. Why is not? I'll tell you how I know. Give me an example. When you hold your kid for the first time. When I held my daughter Bracha for the first time. There was no part of me that said, "my legacy." She was a tiny little hairy thing who was iron deficient, and I was just like, "Now I'm a dad," and I remember thinking, "I would do anything for this person, anything," and I'm not going to get anything back. And you've been teenage girls, so you know what that looks like. You get nachas.

35:34 But you know what happens? You want to know the litmus test of a good parent? And so what happens if you don't get nachas? That's the litmus test. The litmus test is what happens if I'm not getting nachas. What happens if that's the kid that I'm not going to count on by my deathbed? There are kids like that. There are kids that they give nachas to their parents in other ways, but not necessarily in the obvious ways.If you're asking about the difference between being in it for yourself and truly loving someone, then it has nothing to do with what I'm getting. And of course, I'm going to love that kid, especially in the moments that I'm not getting nachas. There is something called selfless, but we are so conditioned in this world because we're farther from Hashem. We're conditioned in this world to say, no, there isn't. Everything is selfish. That's what they were saying. They were saying if you have to guess if a person is being selfish or selfless, guess that they're being selfish.

36:27 This was the fight that they were having in the dream of Rabbi Bar Nakhmani. Why was Rabbi Bar Nakhmani dreaming this? Remember, I told you in the very beginning, he was on the run. His enemies had gone to the government and said about him, you know that he's the reason you're not getting the taxes that you should be getting, and so they're chasing after him. And he's spending his whole life running from one town to the next. Miraculous things have to happen for him to escape. And where does he find himself? In a swamp. Why in a swamp? Because the external mirrors the internal. The external state of being in a swamp is because that's what Rabbi Baruch Meni felt like. Could you imagine running for your life? None of us know what it means to run for our lives. It was Yom HaShoah yesterday. Could you imagine what it would have been like if you weren't in a concentration camp and you were lucky? Could you imagine what your life would have been like hiding in the forest, being with the partisans, constantly being nervous that somebody's going to catch you?

37:26 He was in a swamp psychologically. That's where he was in his life. And what is he sitting on? He's sitting on the stump of a palm tree. You know what palm tree is, girls? It's a lulav. A lulav represents the spine of Klal Yisrael. What's he sitting on? The stump, the broken spine. He's seeing a fractured Klal Yisrael. Look who gave me over to the government. That's what Rabbi Bar Nachman is thinking. And in his mind, he gets called to the Mesivta Derechia, paskin the shaila: Is man selfish or is man selfless? Who is Rabbi Baruch Meni going to agree with? Those tzaddikim that live next to Hakadosh Baruch Hu that say people are basically good or people are basically selfish. And he says, why are they calling on me in his dream? Why are they calling on me?

38:21 Because I am, listen to the word. I translated it wrong before on purpose. I am yachid ben nagaim. Yachid ben nagaim doesn't mean I'm the singular best expert in the world of nagaim. Of course, it means that, but it means something more than that. It means yachid means to be unified. Meaning, who is Rabbi Baruch Meni? What is he saying about himself? Who is the person that I want to be? That I can see the godliness, the unity. I can see things from the perspective not of memalek kolomen and not of sovev kolomen. But if I am, as we say every day in Kriyas Shma, Shema Yisrael, Hashem Lekinu, Hashem Echad. When we say God is one, it doesn't mean God is one like we know oneness. It means God is one because all of this is happening where, within Him. It's His mind. It's His imagination. It's His dream. It's the reality that He created within Himself. He says, "I'm Yachid. I live on the level of Echad."

39:19 I live with this oneness with who? Benegaim, with those people that are local kachtar, those people that are not so pure. I can see their beauty. That's who Rabbi Bar Nachmani is. You hear the conflict of Rabbi Bar Nachmani? On the one hand, he's being persecuted. He's being chased by the government. He's going to be killed by them. He knows he'd rather die than fall into their hands because of what's going to happen to him. He will be tortured. On the other hand, he's the person that sees the beauty in everybody. Why? Because he sees things from the perspective of Hashem, and in Hashem's eyes, every single person is beautiful. So what does he say? Tahor. Not just tahor. He says it twice. Why? Because there's two levels of tahara. He says not only listen carefully, girls. This is an amazing kiddush. Not only are you good in your best parts. Not only is your godly soul good.

40:16 Even your worst parts are good. That's a very difficult thing to understand because most of us look at our worst parts and we say that's our bad parts. You don't have bad parts. No part of you is bad. Not one part of you is bad. Every part that you have is doing its best for you. Some of your parts are having negative impact, but all of your parts are beautiful. All of your parts are godly. Comes along. This is what it would look like if you want to know what it means to be a Talmidah of Rabbi Bar Nakhmani. Rabbi Bar Nachman, I'm sure if he had a talmidah that got in trouble, he would look at that girl and he would say, "Tahar, the nefeshel kiss that you have, the godly soul that you have, is for sure tahar. But you should know that even the part of you that you look at and you think is bad, it's not bad. Unless you can mamish tell me, for sure, that this place was dead and the negative things grew in that place, I'm not ready to say your talmid. If we have any suffik about you whatsoever, what's our perspective?

41:15 Your perspective is tahor, tahor. Your good parts, your bad parts, it's all tahor. And then a baskal comes out, and it says, Rabbi Bar Nachmani, your soul was tahor, your body was tahor, meaning even the part of you that's selfish, your body is a selfish thing. Even the part of your body was tahor, but more than that, Rabbi Bar Nachmani, what was your life? You told people tahor, tahor. There are people in their lives that they're so tahor that wherever they go, what do they tell people? Tahor. Unfortunately, there are also people in this world that they walk around saying tameh, tameh. There are people. Baruch Hashem, it's gotten so much better. I don't want to say anything nasty, but there are still people, some, a select few, that they walk around tameh, tameh.

42:10 They go on YouTube. They make videos. This rabbi is a kaifer, and this and they're knocking people down all the time. Tame. Everywhere you go, here they give a fire and brimstone, Moshe Shmuel, and everyone gets excited. He tells the truth. He said we're tame. He's the only one that tells the truth. He said we're tame. Fire and brimstone. We needed to hear it, right? Hear Shmuel's and like that. Those are people that are standing far from Hashem. Those are the tzaddikim and mesivta derakia that they're like. If you have a suffik, you go tame. If we have a suffic, we say tahir. There are some people; they're pure in their souls, they're pure in their bodies, so they walk around telling people tahir, you're awesome. Who wouldn't want to be a student of such a rebbe? Who wouldn't want to be a child of such a mother? When your child comes home and your child says, "I got in trouble in school," there's different responses that you can have. One response is, "What'd you do?" Right? Because you for sure did it, right? Like remember when we came home and lied? Remember that?

43:10 Just trying to see how many people are with me. Not bad. About 50% of you are with me, right? Deny till you die, right? So you come in the house like, so it wasn't my fault. That's how you begin, right? You remember that? It wasn't my fault. Really, I didn't even do it. Was the girl sitting next to me? And really, it wasn't even her. It was the girl sitting next to her. But for some reason, the way my teacher was sitting, she thought it was me that was passing that note and on her phone at that time. Even though she has eyes and she could see me on my phone, but she knew that I only took the phone for one second. Really, I was a good girl. I was taking it away from her. My daughter once told me a story when she was very little. Baruch Hashem, she's like ADHD up the wazoo, and she's like so funny and so gishmak. And so she said to me, "Abba, it's not my fault, but sometimes in class I bawk like a chicken." She's like, "You do what?" But really, I'm being a helper because there's a girl sitting next to me that's gonna do something inappropriate. So whenever she's about to do something, get inappropriate, and like get in trouble for being inappropriate, I just go bawk. I'm like, "You're a real tzaddikus." Like.

44:04 She's like me. That's my daughter. They have other daughters. They're like my wife. Very straight laced. Very good. Very like follow the rules. And this one bucks like a chicken. She'll be a great teacher one day. So she said to me today, she goes, "Don't worry, I'll be successful." I said, "Believe me, I'm not worried about you. Just get through school. Once we break out of those rules, you're going to be amazing." So where was I? What type of mom do you want to be? Your kid comes home. And you have a suffolk. I don't know if it was my kid's fault, not my kid's fault. Some people go, I know this kid, tame. And some mothers look at their kids and they just see beauty. And it doesn't mean that they're ignorant, and it doesn't mean that they're ignoring reality. If there's a dead spot and dead things are growing, that parent is willing to call the kid out because they love them. But in the case of a suffolk, what do we do? In the case of a suffolk, we say you're good. You're not a bad kid. You're not selfish. You're a selfless kid. I think positive things about you.

45:00 I relate to you in a positive way. What type of wife do you want to be? There are wives that they look at their husbands with nasty eyes. There are wives like that, you know, that everything their husbands do is wrong and stupid, and they even talk that way out loud, like with their friends, go, "He's such an idiot." Don't speak that way about your husband. That's not nice. Oh, it's just words. He knows I'm kidding. No, he doesn't. Those are not nice words to say. Now, I'll tell you the truth. I know an elderly couple that was like this. And they were very sweet and very beautiful, and I'm sure he was a big balmedos, and he never cared. But this elderly grandmother would often turn to her—I shouldn't even say these words. She would turn to her husband, and she would say, "Shut up." And I remember the first time I heard it, I was like, "We can do that?" Because that seems abusive to me. I guess they were from a different generation. Abuse wasn't called abuse back then. Of course it was.

45:59 Have beautiful eyes. David Melch has described as yafei nayim. It didn't mean he had blue eyes. It meant he had beautiful eyes. He saw people and he said, "Tahar, you're good." That's the way we want to relate to our families, to our communities. Most importantly, it's the way we want to relate to ourselves. We want to be able to look in this world and say, "Tahar." We want to be able to see things from the perspective of Hashem. From the perspective of Hashem, everybody's good because everybody's an infinite expression of Him. And if you're an infinite expression of God, then there's no such thing as being bad. We're in the zmanusfiras almer. The Talmidim of Rabbi Akiva were lo nagu kavitz abazah. What does that mean? Does that mean when their chavrusha said something, they said shut up? No. It means they weren't able to say tahr to their chavrusha. They weren't able to say, "I see how amazing you are. I see what you're contributing here."

46:56 They didn't look at them with beautiful eyes. These were tzaddikim. If we would have met the Talmidim of Rava Kiva, I think that person is incredible. But because they were Talmidim of Rava Kiva, they were held to a very high standard. Rava Kiva was a person who connected to the essence. Maybe next week we'll speak a little bit about that. From the perspective of the essence, all we see when it comes to another person is tahr. Girls, have a wonderful Shabbos.