Parshas Chukas - Gentle Chinuch

2:23 It's not so pashat. The mafarshim give no less than ten different reasons as to what Moshe Rabbeinu did wrong, because the pesukim don't spell it out clearly. What exactly was Moshe Rabbeinu's mistake? That's the first question. The second question is Mima noschach. If there's water in the rock So that when Moshe Rabbeinu hits it the first time, the water should come flowing out. If there's no water in the rock, then no water should come out. What's this business of first Moshe Rabbeinu hits the rock and then a trickle comes out, and then he hits the rock a second time and then it's a flow? What does this mean? The third question is the most obvious one. This is the third time that it happened. They didn't have water in Mara, they didn't have water in Merfithim. So why here? Why now? Why does everything get messed up now? What was the difference at this point in the story?

3:19 The fourth question, which is the question we're going to spend the most time on Is Moshe Rabbeinu does a very strange thing. In chastising Klal Yisrael, he says that Klal Yisrael are rebellious. He calls them Hamorim, 'You rebellious people.' Everybody say We all know that if a person is scared A person is frightened about what's going to be. They're not being rebellious. They're just scared. They're just scared. Think about it, Kav Yochel. If you're a lifeguard, If you're a lifeguard and somebody is in trouble, you need to jump in to rescue them. And they're frightened for their life. I'm your lifeguard. They're frightened for their life. So they start pushing you down so that they could be above water. What do we do in such a case? We go all the way down. I remember when I was training to be a lifeguard, we were told to punch them in the face and knock them out.

4:15 For real. It's not an approach. It's a chumach approach. So you have to knock them out because they're out of control. They don't mean to be pushing you down. They're just scared. So Kali Soles in the desert and they have no water and they're afraid they're going to die. These people are rebellious. This is what it means to be rebellious. What is Moshe Rabbeinu talking about? They're not rebellious. They're terrified. Another question. The pasuk says that Moshe Rabbeinu lacked faith in Hashem. How could that be? Moshe Rabbeinu is the greatest navi of all time. There will never be a navi like Moshe Rabbeinu. Moshe Rabbeinu didn't have emuna. He needed to take an Eishat Torah discovery course. God proven to him, what does it mean? Meishabenu lacked amuna. How could we even say such a thing? And the final question is: We know that Hakadosh Baruch Hu always punishes mida kineged mida.

5:19 This is I think one could make a reasonable argument The most serious punishment that Meishabenu could have ever gotten To not be allowed to go into Eretz Yisrael. To not be allowed to lead Klal Yisrael, if your name is Moshe Rabbeinu And you take away the Rabbeinu part, what are you left with? That's the that's the worst that's the worst punishment in the world. Moshe Rabbeinu's whole chayus is that he's a leader. His whole life is about leading Klal Yisrael. The dream was to take Klal Yisrael and tear it to shrot. And then that's taken away from him because he hit the rock. What's going on over here? How could this possibly be Mida Kineged Mida? What did Moshe Rabbeinu do that was so bad? So I skipped a part of the story. I skipped it on purpose. But one of the questions we asked is why here, why now Why did Moshe Rabbeinu make this mistake at this time?

6:14 But really, there's a part of the story that I skipped. Klal Yisrael throughout their entire journey in the Midbar had the Be'er Miriam. The Be'er Miriam, wherever they went, there was a Be'er, there was a wellspring that traveled with them in the merit of Miriam. Miriam died. So they didn't have the bare Miriam. That's why they had no water, because Miriam passed away. But we have to understand the interconnection between Miriam and water. The Gemara in Tanya says, for those of you that were Masayim Tainus this year, the Gemara in Tainus says that in the S'chus of Aran Hakayin we got the Anani Hakavod. That makes sense because the Anani Hakavod covered the Mishka. In the S'chus of Moshe Abena we got the Man. That makes sense. Because Moshe Rabbeinu was the one that told them about the man and walked them through the process of getting the man.

7:06 But what's the connection between Miriam and the Be'er Miriam? So I'd like to share with you tonight a Hasidic concept And goes like this: Why does Gullus exist? Why does Gullus exist? The simple understanding of why galus exists is, as we say, "U'mipnei chateinu, galinu me'artseinu" Because we did averes, so we were sent to galus. And of course, that's true; it must be that way. But it's not a full understanding of galus And I'll bring you a raya that something is lacking. By the bris ben abesarim. At the very beginning of the foundation of the creation of our relationship with Hakadosh Baruch Hu Avram Avinu was told that your children are going to go down to Galus. So obviously, you can't say that Galus is a punishment. Because if Galus was a punishment, then what's Hakadosh Baruch Hu saying? Hakadosh Baruch Hu is saying your children are going to do averus. This is going to be the punishment. That's not what it says. If you go look in the pesukim, it's not what it says.

8:22 It says that your children are going to go down to Galus. What's the yisoid of Galus? Why is this fundamental to building a relationship with Klal Yisrael? I was just had two weddings, two mevaser weddings this past week, so I was only by one of them. But could you imagine if instead of saying harayat mekudeshes li betabazu kadosh ma'ishu b'yisrael Could you imagine if a person took a ring and looked his wife in the eyes? He stares lovingly into her eyes and he says We're going to torture each other for the next fifty years. We're going to bash each other. We're going to make each other miserable. Nobody would do that because that's sick. We don't understand. We don't even begin to understand what Mitzrayim was. What's Mitzrayim? We think Mitzrayim is like a cute thing that you tell over by the sailor. It's like a cute thing. There's Klal Yisrael was enslaved. Rabbi, the Holocaust doesn't hold a candle.

9:29 The Holocaust doesn't hold a candle to Mitzrayim. We can't even begin to imagine what Mitzrayim was. First of all, the Holocaust was only for six years. Mitzrayim was for over two hundred. Second of all, if you look in the midrashim, the torture that Klal Yisrael underwent for hundreds of years. The torture was astronomical. Why in the world would Hakadosh Baruch Hu tell in the Bris Vaynabesaram? Why would Hakadosh Baruch Hu say your children are going to suffer immeasurably? And by the way Al Pisaid Because we didn't finish Yitzys Mitzrayim, all of the suffering that happens to Klal Yisrael afterwards, the Maral says throughout all of history, it's really part of Yitzys Mitzrayim. It's really because we never had the full Gavos of Mitzrayim. Memelo, we have to continue the galus ki lu, but spread out over history. The maral says. So there's a concept here that I've been working on now for a long time, and I'm not sure that I have it fully worked out, but I want to share with you at least what I understand about it.

10:34 Maybe together we'll figure out something more about it. Maybe you guys will have a chiddush also. I'm still working on this in my personal avoda. I don't even know if I fully understand the concept. But it goes something like this: What do we want? What does everybody in this room want? So I used to say that human beings are hardwired for connection. That's what I used to say. That's what we want more than anything in the world: we want to be connected to each other. The problem is that the word connection is not defined. It's not a lamed shva word. I don't know what connection means. What's the connection? Two people are next to each other. That's connection. So I'll tell you what we really mean when we say connection. What we mean is belonging. That's what we really mean. Connection is a word that's just too parv.

11:33 Doesn't give us the full richness of the experience. Belonging is a powerful word. I'll try to unpack a little bit what belonging means. Belonging means that I can be fully me—the good, the bad, the ugly—all parts of myself—with you. And there's nothing that's standing in the way. There's no mechitzah that I can come to you and say I did this avera Or I did this mitzvah, and you're here just to look at me "Okay, great. I'm in for all of it." That's what we really want more than anything in the world. I was talking to a chaver of mine. Some of you have heard this story. I was talking to a chaver of mine. Who I have tremendous respect for, Mivaser guy, back in the day. And he was talking to me about the struggles of Shmiras Enayim. He's 40 years old. He's struggling with Shmiras Enayim.

12:31 And talking about growing up in this generation and the things that are around and the places that a person could look and the things that a person could fall into. This is an area where he struggles. So I asked him After a while of talking about it, I asked him, "Does your wife know?" So he said, "I hid it for years. Come move on, makes sense." Recently I told her." So I was like Look, how'd that go? He said, "It was incredible." She understood that it had nothing to do with her. She understands that I have a part of me that I need to work on. And she's been so exceptionally supportive. And the depth of the relationship that we have in our marriage now is so much more profound than we had five years ago. I was nespal. First of all That she's so healthy and so differentiated to be able to say because that's a hurtful thing to hear.

13:35 But that she's able to say, Tiznis Iyon. It hurts, but I can be supportive. That's incredible. She's clearly an incredible person. But think about that level of vulnerability that he experienced. That's like real skydiving. He managed to tell this person who he loves, maybe more than anyone in the world. I do something that I know could hurt you, but I want to share it with you. It's the thing I'm least proud of in the entire world. But from that place, their relationship is so much deeper and stronger than it's ever been. He's saying what I need to work on, and this isn't a sion, and we have to have things, and we have to have filters in the house, and we have to have controls on these things because I know myself and this something that I fall into. And I was just blown away.

14:24 And I'll be honest with you A little bit I was jealous. A little bit. I was jealous. We all want that. We want to be in a relationship where we totally belong. The Medrash says, "Nesaveh Hakadosh Baruch Hu lios lo yos barach diru betachtainim." Hashem created the world because He wanted a dwelling place in the world down below. You know what that means, Rabbi? Means more than anything in the world. Hakadosh Baruch Hu wants you to be imperfect. He's not looking for you to be perfect. The Haraya he could have created malachim. That would have been much easier. Hakadosh Baruch Hu doesn't want malachim. He wants a dira b'tachtonim. It means where's our relationship with Hashem? Down, down here in this world. How do you know if you have a relationship with Hashem? If you talk about Hashem with regards to your mitzvos That's the easy stuff, Rabbi Say.

15:18 Anybody could come to their wife and say, "Here's all the good things I do for you." That's not hard. Aren't you proud of me? I learned Torah and I davened. And I did chesed and I gave tzedakah. Of course, anybody could talk about the good stuff. But can you come to Hakadosh Baruch Hu and can you say with total integrity "This is the stuff I'm not so proud of. Can you bring Hakadosh Baruch Hu into that area of your life?" We have such trouble doing that. We have all these voices that come up inside of us—real voices, painful voices. How many guys over the course of this past year And beyond. How many guys have said Like Yom Kippur is a joke. Yom Kippur is a joke. I know that I'm going to do this aveira If not today, tomorrow. If not tomorrow, the next day. But I'm not making it out of the week. That's for sure. You really want me to clap alchetz for saying lashon hara?

16:12 There's a decent chance I'm going to say lashon hara on Yom Kippur. How many people walk out of shul and talk about the chazan? That's straight lashon hara on Yom Kippur, right? That's the old joke. On Yom Kippur, we say Baruch Shem Kavod Malchuso L'olam V'out loud because we're like malachim. But by Ma'ariv We say Baruch Shem kavod malchuso l'olam again. What could you possibly have done from the Eila to Ma'ariv? But we know the direction we're headed, so we say Baruch Shem Kavod Malchuso L'olam V'quietly on Matz Yom Kippur because we know we're deeply imperfect. And we think that Rabbenu Shalom can't possibly accept our tshuva. It's not shyach. Because Rabbenu Shalom knows better than me that I'm going to do this avera five minutes from now, ten minutes from now. How many times have I? How many times do you make up on yourself? Tonight I'm starting anew. I'm not going to that place tonight.

17:06 What do you say the next day? Tonight I'm starting anew. It's always like that. So we don't feel that we really belong to our Kadosh Baruch Hu. We feel that we're unforgivable. You always hear that. Rebbe, you're talking to me now, but if you only knew where I was just coming from If you only knew where I just was. The Rebbeinu Shalom knows where you were. The Rebbeinu Shalom is saying, 'Can you bring me into every facet of your life? I'm not asking you to be perfect. I'm asking to be present.' That's what we as parents want. The dream of every parent. It's a dream. It's probably a fantasy in 99% of the cases. You know what the dream is. That our kids will trust us enough to talk to us. You know how hard a balance that is Because as a parent you have to create boundaries. Sometimes creating boundaries means saying this is not okay and this is the consequence of your actions.

18:07 But as a parent, we know that every time we do that, that kid, because they're immature, takes a step back and says, I don't know if this place is safe. I don't know if I'm allowed to be me. I could never come to my father and say, "This is what I really do." I could never come to my mother and say, "This is who I really am," because if I did, I don't know if I would be loved. And of course, the parents—of course, as parents, that's what we want. We want that if our kid makes a mistake, the first person they're going to come running to is Abba, Ima, Tati, Mami, whatever you go by. I made a mistake. Can you help me? I was once driving in the car with a very Chashev Rosh Yeshiva. I was in the driver's seat, and I was driving. She was in the passenger seat. Sometimes phones are on so loudly that you can hear the other side of the conversation.

18:55 But the other person doesn't necessarily realize it. So it was like not an elderly rashi shiva, but like an older rashi shiva And the phone was on way too loud. So I'm sitting there driving. He gets a phone call and picks it up. It's his son. Who's telling him. I just got suspended from school. So I'm sitting there with this person Who's a venerated Rashi yeshiva, who's a known person in Klal Yisrael And I'm like, and I hear him go, "Dad, I just got suspended from yeshiva." So I'm like, 'Oh, this is so awkward. I'm driving this car, and I'm not gonna say to him, 'Rebbe, you may want to lower the volume,' because it's too late. You're in it now. We're in this together. We're going down this road.' And so I'm waiting to hear how this person is going to react. Know what he said?

19:50 Are you okay? That was his first question. Are you okay? So I hear the kid say, 'You're like, yeah, I'm okay. I'm okay.' I just wanted to tell you before my Rosh Hashanah calls to let you know. He goes, I'll speak to your Rosh Hashanah. That was the whole conversation. So you guys know me. I'm not so shy. And I was already in it. So he hangs up the phone. He's sitting there quietly. And I had to ask the question. It was a chinachabadam question. I had to ask because I was like, how did that just happen? Because if it was my kid, I know, I love my parents. But I remember what it was like to make that phone call and say I'm gonna, I got the You're gonna get a phone call, and I'm gonna be suspended for a week. It's an awkward phone call, right?

20:42 And my parents did not have the reaction, and I love my parents, and they're amazing, but they didn't have the reaction of Like, "Are you?" The reaction was,"Like, you're an idiot." Like I guess at some point that happens so often, you can't really ask your parents to be that compassionate. So I asked them, "How did that happen? How do you do that?" So this rishiva thought I was strange. He looked at me, he's like My son is in pain right now. I have to be there for him. I was in the spa. I would have been so frustrated. If it was my kid, I would have been so frustrated. The first thing he thought of is, if I want this kid to belong in the relationship, then the kid's gonna be in trouble. This is gonna be a painful process. But the first thing that comes out of his mouth has to be, "I'm here with you in this place, wherever it is. That's where I am."

21:34 There's a deep sense of belonging. Hakadosh Baruch Hu told Avraham avinu "This the experiment." You ready for it? This the experiment. We're going to be in a relationship. Being in a relationship doesn't mean everything's going to be roses. Being in a relationship means there are going to be times where it's beyond hard. There's going to be times where your life is going to be devastating. There's going to be times where you feel more than anything in the world that you don't belong. And that's what the Balatanya says. The Balatanya says, 'What is gullus?' Those of you that learned Tanya this year. What is gullus? Gullus is the feeling I'm not in the right place. That's what gullus is. Gullus is the feeling that I don't belong here. That's why the neshama has a feeling that it's in gullus in the body, because it's like, am I doing here? This doesn't even make any sense. How am I here? What does this even mean?

22:30 If we want to really be in a relationship This is why Chabad Shabbos is telling Avraham Vina. Let's see if we can find each other in the dark. That's like the old song from Rav Levi Yitzchak Meir Ditchef. I'm playing hide and go seek with God, and I'm finding Him everywhere. That's the Yisayi. The Yisayi is like, can we be here together with all of the mess? I'm betting that there were probably Jews in Mitzrayim that were probably sitting there saying, "How could Hakadosh Baruch Hu do this?" Like we're the children of Avraham Avinu, we're the children of Yisro, we're the children of Yaakov. With the children of Yosef What's the Rebbeinu Sholom doing when he sees our children being baked into bricks? That's a real thing. What's the Rebbeinu Sholom doing as he sees people being beaten to death? What's he doing? I imagine some people were angry.

23:24 I imagine that as much as Hakadosh Baruch Hu was waiting to see if we belong to Him, we were waiting to see if He belongs to us. Are we okay with this? Anger is also a form of tefillah, no? To be able to say this, this hurts exceptionally But I'm willing to share it with you. I'm willing to be angry at you. I'm willing to put it out there and say this is not okay. And by the way, when does Hakadosh Baruch Hu rescue us from gallus? When he hears our cries. I don't imagine that the cries were cries of Rebbe Nachman, please save us. I imagine some of those cries were, Rebbe Nachman, this hurts too much. That's also a form of tefillah. That's the experiment. So if you really understand what's being said, it goes as follows: Gullus is a lie. Gullus is a shekel.

24:13 Gullus is a mirage. A yid has to learn to see the inner nikkuda of what's really going on when we're in gullus. The whole thing of I'm pushing you away. That whole movement of I'm pushing you away is really just a way of saying, please come close. But can you be with me even when you feel pushed away? That's what it is. That's the whole Yisid. So comes along Miriam And she's named on two dimensions Really, as we'll see, it's three in a minute, but two for now. The first lashon of Miriam is from a lashon of Mar, of bitterness. But it's also from a lashon of Mary, of rebellion Of rebellion. The Yisid of Miriam was. Miriam engaged all of the bitterness of the exile of Klal Yisrael And she rebelled against it. She said, "It's not true. Stop falling for the lie." That was her holchaus. Every time something bad happened in Klal Yisrael, Miriam said, "Stop focusing on that. Look at the inner nukudah that's within."

25:23 It starts with Amram divorcing Yochaveh. Amram divorced Yochaveh. Why? Because Pharaoh made a decree to kill all the male baby boys. What does Miriam do? As a young child, she goes over to her father and she says, "You're worse than Paro" Because Paro only made a decree against the boys. You made a decree against the girls. Because Paro is really a rasha, and probably most people aren't going to listen to him. But you're the God of Lador; people are going to listen to you. Because you're taking away these children and their opportunity to earn olam haba. Miriam was the one that convinced her father to go back on the pesach. The medrash says that now Amram had to go to Sanhedrin. He had to say, 'I made a mistake.' So they said, 'What should we do?' So Amram said, 'Let's publicly remarry our wives.' And by the chasna, where Amram remarried Yochaveh. Again, you have to know what that means. Kode matan Torah, probably holding by the Rambam that you know that Kode matan Torah there wasn't really chupa, but okay. Even let's say that they kept all the mitzvot. You're holding in the Rambam, right? That's probably what we're talking about. Ishus Yud Alef. So they publicly got married.

26:23 And at the chasna, the Medrash says that Miriam got up and she said. From this union The goyel of Yisrael, the Redeemer, will be born. The Kachava Moshe Rabbeinu was born after that union. When Amram saw the Chitzonius, what Amram said makes sense. I'm going to bring a kid into the world only for him to be murdered. What Amram said makes sense. But Miriam came and she said you can't pay attention to that. You can't fall for the mirage of the gullis. She rebelled against it, and the Geula came. From the place of her rebellion against the bitterness of the exile. That's why Miriam was the one that followed Moshe Rabbeinu into the river, because she. Everyone else was saying, 'We just killed our baby brother.' What was Miriam saying? This is going to be gevuldek. We just have to wait and see how this is going to turn into the ultimate redemption.

27:15 My favorite example of this is a story that we grew up learning our entire life, but we never paid attention to it. It's so there. Miriam, according to one sheet in the Gemara, was Pua. Pua was one of the midwives that rebelled against Paro and delivered the babies. Why was she so named? Because she would comfort and console the babies when they were born. Pua is also from a lashon of Hophia, which means to rebel. So Chazal tell us that Paro actually showed up. Paro actually showed up and started interrogating Shifra and Pua. And said, "What are you doing delivering the babies?" And you know what she we know what Pua as Miriam said to him. She said, "Oh, I called Shvaru who's going to take revenge on you." And Paro said that he's going to kill Miriam. And Yochaved came and she said, "She's only a little girl. She's only five years old."

28:09 How can a five year old be a midwife? That can happen in Mount Starf. You can see the five year old giving care to the newborn baby as it was just born. Like. What does it mean? This whole, what's the deeper Torah of she was mishaperes asavlad? She would cuddle the babies and she would coo to them and she would relax the babies and at the same time she was hofia. She rebelled against Paro. You know what a baby feels when a baby is in utero? A baby feels I belong. Here's my place. I have everything I need. There's nothing that I don't need. I'm good. I'm just good. What does a baby feel the moment it's born? I don't belong here. That's why a baby cries. It's very abrasive. Even by Abris Milu My brother Moshe Meir says the baby doesn't cry from the cut. The baby cries because it's cold.

29:02 So I'm not sure he's right because I'm not sure I buy that. But it makes sense that a baby would be a little bit cold, and the baby would say this is uncomfortable because they're so used to being. Swaddled and held, and it's the most comfortable place in the world. So when that little baby was born into the world, Pua Miriam would come and she would say to that baby, "You're okay. It feels really uncomfortable. It feels mamish like a gullet. Like you don't belong here." It's okay. And she stood up and she rebelled. She rebelled against Paro. It's the same thing. She was rebelling against that notion of exile. There's a reason you have to be out in the world. This is who Miriam was. This is why alpisay, alpichasidus Water quenches our thirst. Why does water quench our thirst? Soda doesn't really quench your thirst.

29:57 Soda is kind of disgusting. Water quenches your thirst. Why does water quench our thirst? So alpi pinimius We were born into water. Water in utero, that feeling of being held by your mother It's I belong. I'm. Thirst is like this. I'm not okay. I don't have what I need. So when you go back to that original point of origin and you drink water That liquid that sustains life Then you're okay again. That's the whole that's the whole tirade. So in the Midbar Miriam taught this lesson over and over again to Klahi Yisroel that every time you don't feel like you have what you need. The Bar Miriam was right there, saying to Klal Yisrael, 'You're okay.' You're okay. You have everything you need. Hakadosh Baruch Hu is mamish swaddling you. You feel like you're so distant from Hashem. That's the mirage. That's the lie. Don't buy the lie.

30:57 And now Miriam died. And they're all freaking out. Where are we going to get water from? So Moshe Rabbeinu wants to communicate a message to Klal Yisrael. So he says to them Hamirim You're rebellious. But of course, the letters of Hamirim spell out Miriam. So what was Moshe Rabbeinu really saying? Moshe Rabbeinu wasn't just saying you're a bunch of rebellious kids. He was trying to remind them of the teachings of their mother. He was trying to say to them, Miriam just died. Did you already forget everything that Miriam taught you? You already forgot that lesson—that you're okay, that you're enough, that you have everything that you need. That in this moment of despair, Hakadosh Baruch Hu was more present in that moment than ever before. That's that alma de esgastio that the Tanya talks about—that a person feels so distant from Hakadosh Baruch Hu, and the moment that you're distant from Hakadosh Baruch Hu is the closest you've ever been to Hakadosh Baruch Hu.

31:59 Did you forget that lesson? But the truth of the matter is that this was the mistake of Moshe Abinu Because Moshe Abinu, on a small level, in a very small way. Moshe Rabbeinu also forgot the lesson of Miriam. Because if Miriam was standing next to Moshe Rabbeinu, right there when Klal Yisrael was complaining about the water, she would have said to him? Don't fall for the words that you hear. You have to look into the panimius. Don't pay attention to the mirage. The things we say are very often just like to say something else. To say something like, for example, the kid that says to their parents, "I hate you." It's a terrible thing that children do. A parent gives everything to their kids. You will not understand until you yourself are a parent and grasp the notion of akharos atov to your parents. You can't possibly understand it when you are giving your entire life force to your parents. I'm sorry to your children, and you're slaving away all day at a crazy job. You have to make $150,000 before taxes to be poor in this country.

33:03 And the parents are working like crazy to pay yeshiva tuition. To watch their kids running around in camp all day, barely learning anything, coming home with fifties and sixties and seventies on their report card. And the father and camps and clothing and insurance and cars you cannot imagine, and that says nothing about the level of emotional support. You can't possibly understand what it means to be macher tov to your parents until you are a parent yourself. And yet sometimes a high school kid, in a hormonal rage, will turn to his father, turn to his mother, and say, "I hate you guys. How could a kid ever say such a thing?" But what does the kid really mean? If you're a great parent, what does the kid really mean? The kid really means I'm so frustrated because I want to feel so close. I need to feel close right now, and yet I feel so distant, and it's exceptionally difficult for me.

33:54 The words that came out of our mouths were terrible. The words that were coming out of Klaujusraw's mouths were terrible. Moshe Rabbeinu was listening to the words. If Miriam was standing right next to him, she would have said something. You have to listen to the pnimius of the words. You have to listen to them crying out to you and saying, 'Moshe Abenu, we're scared because Miriam's not here anymore.' And then Moshe Rabbeinu would have reacted differently. So even though it was the right thing for Moshe Rabbeinu to say 'Hamayirin' because he was trying to give them that message of Did you forget the lesson of Miriam? Just have a little bit of faith. This is the moment where you're going to find Hakadosh Baruch Hu. Moshe Rabbeinu, how could you possibly call Klal Yisrael in this moment Hamayim? You have to find another way of communicating that message. You can't call them rebellious. You can't label them Because then they're going to walk away and feel so distant from you.

34:45 And that's why Moshe Rabbeinu hit the rock and a little trickle came out. If Moshe Rabbeinu would have spoken to Klal Yisrael, all the water would have come. If you just would have spoken to them benachas, the very chacham and benachas neshmoy. If you just would have said to them, "I see that you guys are having a hard time. I understand that it's scary." If you would have been there with them in that place They would have gotten whatever they needed. The meyer shabenu hit the rock, and a little trickle comes out And then he hit the rock again, and a big flow comes out, and this is a big chinuch yisaid. You can. It's the wrong thing to do. You can beat people into submission. You could do it. It's possible. It's crazy, but it's possible. You could take a kid who's not learning so well.

35:33 You could give him powerhouse mussar. You could call him all sorts of names. You could say you're going to be an ama aretz and what are you doing with your life? And you're a sheikits and you're this and you're that. You could take the proverbial stick and smash them over the head. You'll see a little trickle. It'll start to work. It'll start to work. And when it starts to work, you know what that does? It sometimes empowers us. If it works a little bit? What would happen if I really beat the? You do it, and you talk. I have a flow. And all of a sudden you see that this kid is davening, and you see that the kid is learning, and everyone looks and says, That Rebbe really straightened that kid out. No, he didn't. He didn't straighten the kid out. He choked the golden goose. Maybe the kid's gonna perform. Maybe the kid will perform.

36:20 It might work. Maybe the kid will perform. And maybe that kid will perform for twenty, thirty, forty years. But every time that kid goes to davening, he's coming with something. With a diminished sense of self, because who's the kid who's showing up to daven? He might be fifty years old, but he's living inside of him with that rebbe who told him, "You're a garnished unless you daven. You're a zero." So who's the one showing up to davening? Who's the person showing up to davening? Is a person who has a voice in his head? I have to daven because otherwise I'm not okay. Which is sick. What's the negative impact on that person when he's a father, when he's a member of the community? That is not our derech. That's not our derech. We speak to people, we talk to people, we explain We reason with them. We listen to them and try to understand your experience.

37:09 What's so toxic about davening? Why don't you want to go to davening? What's so difficult about learning? Why is it so much for you? There's something clearly going on. People have this emotional reaction to Gemara. That's like the craziest thing in the world. If you actually think about it, no? An 18-year-old young man comes to Mivasar and he goes, "I'm allergic to Gemara. I hate Gemara. I've never seen people have such an emotional reaction to a book. They're crazy." What are they really saying Rabbi? It's so frustrating that every time I open this book, I can't read it. I can't translate it. I can't punctuate it. I don't know the background information. I don't understand where we're going. It seems that, even if I translate all the words, I don't understand it. And it just makes me feel like an idiot, and I don't see the relevancy to my life, and I'm trying to find the relevancy to my life. So we could beat that kid into submission; maybe he finishes shas.

37:59 But so what? Who finishes? Where's the mensh who finishes? And some even crazier people Because that's already crazy by itself. Some even crazier people go That rebbe really worked his magic on that kid. That kid mamish turned around. I want a little bit of that for my kids. Somebody needs to set my kids straight. People say these words. Rabbi said the words. These words. I'm not exaggerating. They come out of people's mouths. It's insane. It's abusive chinuch. But people talk about it like it's amazing. It's not what we do. It's not our derech. Derechah darkei noam. It's not our way. You can give fire and brimstone, Moser, but you can't give fire and brimstone, Moser, that makes a person feel anything less than the chelak al kamim mal mamish that he is. That's why Moshe Rabbeinu couldn't go into Eretz Yisrael with them. That's why Moshe Rabbeinu couldn't be the leader anymore. Moshe Rabbeinu did it in the most da'as tikal way possible. He just used the word Hamirin, and he was really meaning to just tell them it's Miriam. Just remember the lesson of Miriam. But just by using that one word, he can't be Moshe Rabbeinu anymore. Not to these people. There needs to be a new leader to these people. It was Mida connected Mida.

39:16 He hit the rock twice. There's something inside there. I know there's something inside of there, but that's not the way we do it. That's not the way we reach people. When a Jew goes into Eretz Yisrael. The transition from the Midbar to Eretz Yisrael is a drastic transition. The Alter Rebbe explains that this was the reason the Miraglim didn't want to go into Eretz Yisrael. In the Midbar they had everything. They had everything. They had the Ananei Hakavod. They had everything. They had the Mishkan. They didn't want to go into Eretz Yisrael. I should have to set up a government. Living in Eretz Yisrael has never been a simple thing. Even the Miraglim knew that. Bennett got six seats and somehow he's the prime minister. Just when I thought politics couldn't get any crazier in America, Eretz Yisrael comes along and we top it just by a little bit. Baruch Hashem. Don't worry, you guys will top it again soon.

40:25 They didn't want to work the land. They didn't want to come in, like R' Kook says. They didn't want to come in and have to sit there and build a society. That wasn't what they were holding by. You need to transition from the world where you have everything into the world where you have to work hard. You need a rebbe. A parent A friend, a spouse Who's standing right next to you the entire time, going, "I'm right here with you." The good, the bad, and the ugly. You belong here. No labels. No pathologizing. No making you feel bad about yourself. Challenging you. Challenging you, but in a way that you understand and appreciate that the challenge is coming from a place of You're so great. You belong here. I want to be a part of this. That's what you need. It's so good to see so many guys that just came back from yeshiva, and we get pictures. The yeshiva sends me some pictures, and the Hershel sends me some pictures. Mevaser guys in the beis medrash right away, first day back, and the beis medrash in the morning, in the afternoon. It's great. It's kabbalistic. Beautiful pictures.

41:35 The transition for the older guys can tell you. The transition from the idyllic life of yeshiva to Eretz Yisrael, proverbially the Eretz Yisrael of coming back from yeshiva Can be quite the transition Because you may realize as you get older in life, even if you don't realize it now That in yeshiva you guys had everything. Did you not have everything? Did you worry about food? You didn't worry about food. Even if you worried about food, it was like Shoot, it's not meat roll. Like I'm saying, it wasn't like a real worry, right? You have Rebbeim, you have a base of Medrash, you have Chaveirim. On your worst day in yeshiva, you had everything. On your worst day in yeshiva, you had everything. On your best day, you recognize that you had everything. You had everything. You get older in life, and you realize Holy smokes It's not easy to come by these things. People made tremendous sacrifices to send you to yeshiva. They worked really hard. Not only the rebbeim in yeshiva, but also the office staff, the kitchen staff, and the janitorial staff. Your parents slaved to get you to come to yeshiva.

42:50 What an unbelievable gift! You get older and you realize The mamash is going to have to be in that movement of building something, and it's not so easy. What we need to cultivate. In order to be matsliach Is we need those people, and especially that voice that comes from within ourselves that I'm okay and I belong. Even in my worst moments. Even if I was makabel on myself this summer that I'm not going to go to that place and I'm not going to do that thing and I'm not going to look at that thing. Even if you're makabel on yourself, like R' Steinert says. Don't tell me what you'll never do. There's what you've done and what you haven't done yet. Even if you cross that line. To remember I'm okay. This is part of the process. The Rebbe in Eretz Yisrael wanted to hear it, but Tafta'ina. I have an opportunity now to reveal Hakadosh Baruch Hu in a way that I never had before. In your darkest moments, that's when you hear that call of Shuvu banim shayvavim.

43:43 That everybody can return. It's those here who read Shuvah that come up, and when those who read Shuvah come up, you have to celebrate them with that unbelievable voice of compassion. Of how lucky am I that I have a voice inside of me that even in my worst moments I know I'm not God. And Adar Rabba, my worst moments are going to give rise to some of my best moments. Because in the moments where I realize how far I've fallen, there's a clarity that I don't want to be this person. And then you shed a layer of skin and you go even higher. You read the Letzare Chalieh. The Rebbeinu Shlom put us on this gal, this crazy gal. I'm doing something bad and I'm going higher from here. People have it all the time. We have it in a million different ways. Some of us have it with our avers. Some of us have it with anxiety and depression and all sorts of things. We find ourselves in the craziest places. A person cannot survive.

44:30 Without a voice, externally and internally That you belong. That no matter how far you fall, you belong. It's the greatest gift that you can give your children. It's the greatest gift that you can give each other. It's the greatest gift that you can give yourselves. What a wonderful community we are a part of now. To be able to come together Just a week after yeshiva Years after yeshiva. To be able to come together and know that all of you In all of the different places that you're in All the different personalities and all the different families that you come from, and all of the ups and downs that you've had over the years Rabbi said you're part of a community that was educated in a way that was healthy. You were challenged, but you were never told that you were anything less than a chelak lekamimah. If you ask me what our responsibility as the community of Mevasseret is to share with the world.

45:29 This is the messer that we need to send to everybody. That wherever you go, that when a guy says What's this guy about? He went to Mevaseret. What's he about? The answer should be We belong to Hakadosh Baruch Hu. No matter what, we know that about ourselves. We know that about each other. We're sharing it with the entire world. That's what's going to illuminate the world. In the final moments before Mashiach Every single thing will be gone. The only thing that will be left. Is the emuna that I'm still okay And we see it happening today. The sense of self that people have is so diminished. And we need to rebel against that gullus like crazy. And we need to tell people the most distant people in the world. We need to tell those people, we're right here with you. It's the yard side of the bavchei ravim, steemal tamus.

46:27 And if you'll permit me for a minute, because we could talk about what the Rebbe meant to this generation for hours, but just for one minute, was there a person in our generation that embodied this idea more than the Lubavitcher Rebbe? That every Jew came into 770, and it didn't matter where they were holding, it didn't matter if they were Bob Dylan, or it didn't matter if they were mamish going against like I sent that article to the chevrut about I forget his name. I don't want to say his name by accident. I want to say the wrong name. But there was a person that mamash did the. He was a Supreme Court Justice in Eretz Yisrael, and he was mamash going against everything the Rebbe believed in. And then he came to Simchas Torah seven seventy, and the Rebbe said, "Okay, you're going to dance with the Torah." And all the Chassidim were like, "Rebbe, you can ask him to dance with the Torah." He was mamash doing terrible things, and they gave him the Torah. And the Rebbe said to him, "You're ready to be makabel the Torah. You're ready to hold on to the heaviness of the Torah."

47:21 And he said, "Yes." And he danced with the Torah. It wasn't a kirav move. It wasn't a move that the Rebbe was saying like. If I give him the Torah, then he's going to change his whole worldview. And by the way, he didn't. It was just here's a Jew, and he belongs. And the meisim. We could talk about these meisim. We're not going to talk about the meisim. We're not going to talk about the crazy things that the Rebbe knew because that's not for us. Because we can't do that. You hear a nice story. You hear like he was a baal meis. So say there he understood things in a way that we can't possibly understand. But that's not going to help our Rebbe Hashem. You know what's going to help Rabbi? That every single place you go, you could act like that. Guys asking me, they're like Rebbe, when I go to camp this summer and I see a guy, should I say something? Should I not say something?

48:09 This is a guy who's doing something inappropriate in camp. The only response you should have is 'No judgment. I'm here with you. Wherever you are, that's where I am.' That's an amazing thing to me. Rabbi, how should I go back? If I see my parents doing something that is here, I learned that maybe that's not the most halachic. That's not the meduber. The meduber in our yeshiva is not to criticize at all. Never halachic shaila. You call the rashiya. The meduber is in my home. All I have is gratitude because this is a place that I belong, and I bring that with me wherever I go. We should be blessed to continue to build this community of Yeshay. It's the only way that we're gonna make it through this gollis. I'm gonna head to the airport now. To go back to Eretz Yisrael, and it's great to see you, Bez. Shukakh for coming.