🚨MUST LISTEN🚨 - The Next Phase Of The War: Transitioning Back Home

2:30 I want to get there not too long time but not too late. I'll get there. You want to give your wife a little bit of time to sleep because it's almost a heavy day when you have 3 kids. 4, right? Crazy. And you know, during the regular morning, then you just start hearing booms and I am like, who's slamming their door? We're living in a building in the Vassar and then it keeps going and going. I start hearing sirens and then those are distant and then it starts coming to us and we're all in the stairwell. My neighbor is a Samgad. He is an assistant The next phase war transitioning back home

4:09 In one of the lower apartments, I ran over to Yeshiva and it was just insane. You have everyone just trying to be part of the action but scared. And you don't know what's going on. Nobody really checked their phones. And I just remember thinking that this is not good. There's no way this is good. This never happens. And then after about a half hour I said to everyone, I'm going to go back home and be my family.

5:38 The last phase of the war was to strengthen the battle stations in the area, add more patrols, whatever it is, carry out all the arrests, and then it's over in a couple weeks or even a couple days. And then at a certain point, we're all on our phones, everyone's on our phones, we're calling, do we go south, do we go north, do we go to the West Bank, what do we do? The next phase war transitioning back home

8:33 The Men's were killed in those car seats. Whether you're a civilian, whether you're a soldier, it was just insane. I'm very lucky to have made it through even those first few weeks and then for the past two years. There's no video on this. The people can't see the two of us crying and holding back our tears right now as we're speaking about this. I remember One of the Shannabeit boys, that's some Hasthoro, he saw one of the merits Kolal guys leaving his apartment. He gave his kids brachos on the front steps. It was right outside the place where we were dancing. He gave his wife a hug goodbye and he got in his car and he drove off to go fight. And this Shannabeit guy turns to me and he goes, Rebbe, I just saw the face of a man who said goodbye to his wife and his kids.

9:27 The next phase war transitioning back home When you went, ultimately you didn't go down south? The North is a really, really complicated area out of the Fenn.

11:00 Lots of hills, lots of valleys, lots of rivers, and it's a big amount of Shaddakh. It's a large amount of Shaddakh. Whatever. It's a large piece of property. It's a large piece of real estate. I'm American. I just don't remember a lot of things. Yeah, good for you. You've been living it for a while. You don't live in RBS. Right next to the Five Tens. The next phase war transitioning back home Up North, where did you sleep at night? The elections, the local municipality elections, so we took all of the election signs, these

12:29 big things made out of rubber plastic and we would tie them up under trees to block the rain and we would sleep there. And one of the craziest things was that within the first three days we were put in a mamash War is very bad. We did not have an easy time there, a lot of us, we had a lot of people,

14:15 I think kind of deleted that from our memories. I really haven't thought about that until now. It's a very heavy thing to think about and it's not camping. No, it doesn't sound like camping. Some people think, yeah, you went to the north and you went camping because you didn't go into Gaza. It just wasn't, you know, not to minimize Gaza, not to minimize the north. All the fronts were intense. In the Shomrona it was crazy. You had people fighting in crazy situations. Weapons appeared from the tyrants that we never thought they had. The North, it was...what's that TV show? The Survivor? It was Drop You On An Island, you have to figure it out. It was that. The next phase war transitioning back home

16:00 And you go back into melium and you put your madim on You know when you get out for short visits to home And you have to do the full switch If you're not doing the full switch and putting everything on the side You're not being the best soldier you could be And you're putting yourself at risk And you're putting your comrades at risk You're putting the sibis that are behind you at risk And basically the whole state of Israel Not that I'm the person stopping the entire Stopping the entire Israel being invaded Rather I'm part of an army and our job is to defend this border. That's what you have to focus on. So the psychological avodah there was I am so many things. I'm a father, I'm a husband, I'm a member of a community, but when I'm a soldier I can't be any of those things.

16:49 I need to be singularly focused and I need to just block out everything else because at the end of the day we, those people that are standing on the front lines, were the The next phase war transitioning back home I was not a human being while you were there. I remember even my wife said to me, when are you going to shave? I had a beard anyway, but I wasn't cleaning up. And I said, when I see habichay, then I'll shave again.

19:22 What's it like with the kids? That's a laugh cry. Yeah. This is a laugh cry. Um, I don't really know if it is. I don't really know if it is. Um, you're sort of an autopilot. There's a way that you could be a husband and a father in a state of war. Uh, I'm asking, is there a way? I don't know. Whenever I would come back, I would just do my best to try and get myself into laundry as fast as possible. Shower as quick as possible. The next phase war transitioning back home The first thing that happened was that we had an enclave on the side of the forest right on one of the borders and it was like with a bunch of boulders. It was a solid spot to be in. And from there we had our battle stations, our emudot. And there was information that came down that there was supposed to be a hulia, a group of terrorists coming in about 200 meters to our left.

20:45 The next phase war transitioning back home

22:47 I'm picturing you behind this wall of cover with sniper fire being like, but I'm hungry, can I have a can of tuna? And I remember thinking to myself, I don't think I understand what it is that you're living through Because you're under sniper fire and you're trying to get a can of tuna, and I'm thinking if I'm under sniper fire, I don't know what I'm doing, but I'm probably not thinking about a can of tuna It's crazy what happens when you're in combat. Like the civilian looking at a combat situation, looking at a movie or hearing from somebody, Oh my god you must have been like an extreme intense like focus and there was blood running from your from your eyebrow and you're sweating and this and that and all that's true and at the same time there's nothing you could do there's nothing you could do you could you could you could hold your position as well as you can and you can aim your gun and shoot and fire you know to the best of your ability.

23:37 Qutzimizet, aside from that, you can't do anything else. So then you gotta make the switch of like, alright, so let's not try to have a good time, but like, we're alive and we're in this situation. There's absolutely nothing I could do about this, and this is like, you know, where really the, the, the Amunas side of things come in. There's absolutely nothing you could do about this situation. Therefore, I'm hungry, and I need some tuna. I'm thirsty. I want to make some shade. And it's not like I know I'm gonna die in the next two hours, so let me just have my last supper. It's like this is part of the schedule. When you're waiting for a bus, check your phone. When you're waiting for a bus, plug your water bottle, take it to the water. When you're waiting in an ambush, you have a can of tuna. This has got to be tens of thousands of stories like this of what every one of these soldiers went through.

24:29 It's like taking that shovel digging that hole so that you would be sleeping in the freezing cold ground in an October evening. You speak about emunah, emunastra balelos, that emunah at night of lying down sleeping in this ditch so that the rocket shrapnel doesn't kill you. You know being behind that wall when you're hearing the sniper fire I imagine I Imagine there's tens of thousands of these stories that All the soldiers had and I'm sure everyone didn't just have one or two I'm sure there's so many of them and This Psychological Exhaustion Coming Back Home and You're Like I Just Want to Get A shower and I just want to go to sleep Because I Probably Haven't Slept in A couple of Weeks of Legitimate Sleep Like I'm Saying Like Is that Is that right like you just you can't like Definitely It's really crazy. Coming back home from any of these, I don't know if you call it like any of these Sravim, like within a set up of Mevlouim, let's say it's three months, you're there for a week, you're home for two days, you're there for a week and a half, you're home for four days, whatever it is.

25:32 And that's how you kind of like plan your schedule, like, okay fine, I need to be functional by this and this time so that we can take the kids to the doctor appointment or that we can make it to this birthday party, which I'm going to show up to. But it feels like that for the soldier. I was very zulchina have in the beginning obviously a lot more but to have a few close friends of Rebbeim and family members being touched throughout, seeing your texts every day for I think the

27:05 course of over a year when I would turn my phone off after two or three weeks or whatever it was every couple days we get access to your phone, life changing and it changed the The next phase war transitioning back home The The soldiers and the families that are going out to M'leem when they say the family's going out to M'leem because it's the whole family and So when you go out it's uh You know, it's a real M'Seerat Nefesh not in the sense of like I'm gonna save the world it's like this is this is what the nation needs and

28:37 It's not a hero complex. It's nothing. It's not I don't have a job complex The next phase war transitioning back home I'm going to put my life on the line for the nation. Knowing that the nation is behind me or not behind me makes a huge difference. And it made a huge difference to us, you should know. It wasn't just an educational move of like, okay, so we're going to send a family dinner. It was like, of course, you know what I'm saying? It was like the amount of hakarsatov that we have to you and to all of the neighbors

30:36 A year and a half later those kind of gestures don't follow me entirely But not everyone keeps showing up and it's hard also soldiers are starting to peter out And it's not because they don't want to fight you can't you don't have enough support Sounds Like They're Tired Tired? Yeah, yeah, it's yeah, there's there's no there are no words that I can say they can describe my experience to be able to give it over Where can they shoot from? And then I'm like, oh, it's you know, and these things kind of like flicker up. I wouldn't call that PTSD. I just think that that's that's what happened when you're in those areas. I mean, your mind is still thinking like I'm driving by a village, and I have to be careful because I've been living in around villages where people are shooting at us. There's Certain Associations. Yeah.

31:58 If you see our villages before, that was enemy territory. And while it may or may not be now, I'm a civilian. I don't have the freedom to shoot at anything that threatens me. We're not in a state of war within Israel proper. So I'm putting two things together in my head as you're speaking, and I'm like, Okay, so on the one hand there's this responsibility. Like, okay, you're not in Gaza right now. I think we probably didn't let our listeners know that you didn't spend the entire war up north. No. You were in lots of different places. Most recently you were in Gaza. Yeah. So we'll get to that in a moment. The last three months. Yeah. So we'll get to that in a moment. But the notion that I come home and now I'm on, you have a job, you show up to work, and your boss, of course, is compassionate,

32:52 But like he's like, okay, but you got to be able to show up to do at work and you got to be able to do the job that you're getting paid to do. I need you back here now because life continues as normal. When you're up north, when you're in Gaza, there's still people that are going to work every day. Businesses are still happening. Families still exist. You come home and now you're like, quote unquote, like on. And so your boss says, okay, like do this work. And you went from being singularly focused on the mission. And then this almost, it sounds like impossible transition. The next phase war transitioning back home

35:25 When you turn off such an important part of your life and such an essential part of your life is that you're also turning off a certain aspect of your emotions and your ability to get things done. And so when you're in the military or in the army and there's a problem, you're exposed down to fire from the west, that problem is dealt with. You close up the wall, you make proper defenses, you fire artillery, air force, duel patrol, The next phase war transitioning back home That's really hard for your wife and for your kids. Yeah, because to them it's not trivial.

36:58 It's almost like what I'm hearing you say, because I agree with you were saying a lot. I don't think you were rambling. You were saying a lot of things. If I'm getting this right, it sounds like what you were saying is, I'm playing the game of life where the stakes are life and death now. Not only for myself, not only for my fellow soldiers, but for everybody that's behind us. So, for me, the stakes of life now are life and death, and nothing else matters. And then this impossible transition back home where I need to be empathetic to my 6 and a half year old daughter, to my wife and all the things that she's going through and the fact that we have doctors appointments and parent teacher conferences and all those things. But I've had, you write that line from Brene Brown, we can't selectively numb. Right? So in order for me to play the game of life at this level where the stakes are literally only life and death, The next phase war transitioning back home The stakes are so big, I really just can't empathize with you. I really just can't handle that.

38:25 Right? I was putting up the suck up, and I put it up, and it was fine. And it was, this is very funny, I hope my wife forgives me. So there's... I hope she forgives you always, but yeah. Always. She, so far, can work. So far, so good. And it was, uh... It was like one of those canvas suckers, and it works in regular areas, but where we live now, there's a lot of wind. And so it needs to be tied down and I literally put up the sukkah before I went back for the last round, like last seven, like a week and a little bit to Gaza and then to come back right before the beginning of Sukkah. And it's like 3.30 in the afternoon, I'm about to go into my car and like my wife says, the sukkah's sideways. I'm like, oh my god, I ripped down the canvas and I throw it in the maksan and I head down to Gaza and I tied it down with like some strings, whatever, and I come back, The next phase war transitioning back home It works! And it was so hard for me to understand that when it looked horrible it's a problem.

39:54 For me the circle was up and it was great. It doesn't matter how it looks. It works as a circle. It's not gonna blow away. That's what happened in the war. If it works, it keeps you alive. It doesn't matter how it looks. Nothing in the war is pretty. You're not dealing with, it's functional. Life is functional. The next phase war transitioning back home The War is over. There is a certain amount of letting your guard down. We heard there is an actual ceasefire. The people that switched us out of our emdote two days later left the war.

42:11 One of the things that I mentioned a couple days ago was I'm coming back from war and I have all the things that I thought about when I'm on my missions and when I'm my Shmiro from 2 until 5 in the morning. When you're in the army and your drives and in my mind I said this to you. I said I'm thinking about ice hockey, thinking about fishing, thinking about seeing friends, thinking about grilling, thinking about sleeping, thinking about a shower everyday. A shower every day very nice and also it will be amazing I'll go back to the family it will Be nice I'll have dinners I'll hang out with my wife I'll hang out with my kids do drop offs And that then you come back and just like there's no fishing and there's no ice hacking There's no barbecues you've got to take care of your family and my family's expectation Is telling me back I'll be able to do drop off without loading all four kids in the car I'll be able to go to the makol without going with all four kids in the car or finding a babysitter and then we tell them all of a sudden your husband's not available for you.

43:18 That's a really difficult thing to you know to deal with. Expectations are, everyone always says like you know curber enthusiasm hold, keep your expectations low for most things. When people are going for job interviews, when people are going on dates they say just don't get too excited you know. You can't tell a wife not to get too excited that her husband is coming back home from war. You can't. You can't. Even if people who have experience with having their husbands coming back and they'll tell my wife, oh yeah, it's going to take a couple weeks. Your family is excited for you to come back and then you just don't come back. Because your stuff is there, but it's in the middle of whatever it is. And you're exhausted. Your patience is thin and you forget where things are in the house. It's hard. You're home but you're not home. You're there but you're not present.

44:14 No. Maybe now, a little bit. At the end of the war, you really weren't known for a good stretch of time. You were in Gaza. You sent me a picture. I think it was like five minutes before you kipper. You sent me like a selfie. You guys were making bombs or something. And I, you sent me that picture, I was like, that changed my Yom Kippur, to be honest with you. I was thinking about you a lot on Yom Noh Ra'im, and I think we spoke also before Rosh Hashanah, you were talking about how like, you're gonna Daven Basikin, and then you're gonna start your missions like 930 after Kiddush, and I was thinking to myself like, it's pretty crazy, like having Rosh Hashanah, Yom Kippur in Gaza, it's pretty crazy for your family not to have The next phase war transitioning back home I mean, what was it like? Yom Noh Raim in Gaza? What's that? What's happening there?

45:38 Like shofar, like how does takya shofar work? How does davannim work? How does emissions work? What's your mind frame? I don't know if you can explain, like, wow, I'm looking, I'm just like, I'm mind blown, I have lots of words. I don't really know how to explain it. All the years up until the war, Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur are the days where you force yourself to feel and you find that story and you look for that speaker and you want to find... I remember seven or eight years ago, Ari Fold was killed right before Kippur? Before Roshanah? It was whatever. That's family for me. That's my wife's first cousin. Yes, and that was you know, and I worked with him maybe a month and a half prior a Couple months prior and it was it was It was you know the speech that you gave our toilet you gave to open up I think it was either your kipper or shanah Yeah, kipper that year was was you know, totally it just moved everyone everyone was crying and That was and and I don't know how to say this The next phase war transitioning back home

47:48 You're there and I'm trying to dov Amrashir Sanadavani. This is like 5.30 in the morning and I'm just not focusing and I see some guys like wrapped up in their tallest and this and that I'm like barely hanging on wearing my t-shirt trying to like just just not overheat boiling in Gaza you know it's bad and you're trying to focus and and you know I just I just let the The minyan kinda carry me at that point I was able to say the words But like it's just Rosh Hashanah for me over the years and for everyone just like you want to get that point where the chazen gets you to cry and then Oh that was Rosh Hashanah for you like and now maybe Hashem is gonna like listen you know Hey I don't I don't know it was blood sweat and tears and the whole whole thing and to be able to just finish shachari dulaning and then go out For operational missions in the area and come back into a mussaf?

48:45 That's what you did. You davened and then you had a mission and then you came back and had a mussaf afterwards? Yeah, like 6 p.m. like right before Shkia. We did a whole day of mussaf. Mencha, Neelah, Anyim Kippur. Also Yom Kippur, we're talking about Roshan Ramban. Oh yeah, Yom Kippur. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Yeah. And I don't know if what I'm saying is something that resonates with anybody. I don't. That's the hard part of this. There's many hard parts. But to come back, essentially from Mars, I was on Mars the past two years, and everyone was like, oh, how was? Felt like a couple pictures. Wow! And then what? Yeah. Right. Because they're in their jobs, and they're in their lives, and they're whatever. Not to minimize. Which is different. And it's a hard thing and I... I feel exact...you know, I feel exactly the way that you're talking about, but on a totally different level. I feel like when I talk to my friends in America, that's exactly what they do though. So how's it going?

49:54 I'm like, dude, I love you. But like you're in Woodmere, you know what I'm saying? Like, you're not, like, I don't know when the last time Sirens went off in Woodmere that you had to go to your basement, you know, and that's like, you know, we've gotten to the level where, you know, when it's rockets from Taman, we go, they don't know how to aim, you know, call me wake me up when it's an Iranian rocket, right? So we're living with, we'll call it that level of intensity. And talk to my friends in America about it, or talk to my friends in England or Australia about it. I'm like, you can't get it. But to be honest with you sitting here, Talking to you even though you and I have been talking for the last two years. I Don't get it. I know I don't get it and I want to I want to be empathetic with you I think I'm so happy you don't get it. Yeah, I appreciate cuz I'm very happy that there are people that didn't have to do that Didn't have to go through those things and see the things that we didn't do the things that we did that will forever change us So let's talk about that. Let's talk about what we're not talking about because we spent a lot of time talking about No human being ever wants to do

51:50 Kill the Tyrus I did that. I had to do that and I'm intentionally leaving out details, but it's something that's heavy. Something that's heavy. I explained it's I don't feel bad. I'm very happy I was able to. I'm not ecstatic giving out candy. It's like yeah but I'm happy that I was able to come out on the other

54:55 But to be able to share that experience with people that actually care, not as some sort of like, what's the word, not an attraction, not like a... what's the word? It's a... you're not a spectacle. That's why it was very hard for me to come back to Yeshiva over the years when I was in the war, when I knew people. Because I didn't have the capacity to share with all the chani chim. I had the classes to share with you, because you had the ability and the capacity to hold that. The next phase war transitioning back home

56:54 Tons of injured soldiers What about all the stuff that's underneath the surface that's not as visible? How... what does support look like there? Like what is the support for those people that are gonna be, you know, with prosthetic limbs or not gonna be able to be present in their marriages for a while or with their children? Is there a level of support that you're getting? So again, we'll split it to two. The Ptsuyim, all the people that got injured, all the Kailin that got injured, The Civilians that got injured. Don't forget all the homes that have been physically destroyed.

58:27 All the rahush, all people's property. Things have just been totally wiped off. Not just their lives, but physically, but everything around. Their belongings, all that stuff. It didn't happen to me. And I relate to them and I feel horrible, but I'm not in there about, I don't understand what The Responsibility of All the Between and I'm talking about on a physical level That's that's Am Yisrael. The people of Israel have to go support them. And Amadah is a Benghvi right now going out and they're like making statements. Just their people, their people that are injured. And I know from growing up people are Hashem Shabbat sick, there's meal trains upon this and buses and and make sure there's a rotation for a whole three years in advance to go visit

1:00:48 Okay, so now it's safe and I'm going to fly and come visit. No, you have responsibility, you're a nation. And if you're not connected to the Yom, then I don't know what religion you're part of. But this is all Chabibi, this is all one big family. Well said. So, I mean, that's a little bit of a separate conversation we can have in there. We'd be happy to talk about the end, but I want to stay a little bit on topic, which I don't normally do. But, you know, change a little bit throughout the war. So that's in regards to that. Again, I have friends that got injured. We have somebody in our dude that was killed from a combination drone and cornet attack. And then there were 19 guys injured, one of my good friends. He's walking, he's showing up to me, Liam. His friend, 5 feet to his left, died. And he's injured. And the fact that they pulled out the shrapnel from his leg and from his back, It's not really out. The scar is there. He was in that. He's also injured and he's trying to do his best to go visit his friends in the hospital, but everyone's just trying to grasp on something. And so that's where the om comes in. It's not just the money. It's reaching out. It's being with them. You don't want to be alone in that.

1:02:03 Before we get to the second one, because that was so powerful, I just want to highlight that line that you said, when can I come for Shabbat? When do I get to come for Shabbat? I think that's the entire line of the day. That's an unbelievable line. And I think you're 100% right. Distance cannot mean cognitive dissonance. Just because you're 6,000 miles away in the States, when you come, Israel can't be a tourist attraction. So before, it actually does mean something. Showing up to those hospitals actually does mean something. It can't be just something you do for posting on an Instagram account. Hashtag Supporting The Soldiers. This has to be real giving over of you and I have a shared essence and that is really meaningful to people. I don't know if people know how meaningful it is but it really is very meaningful. It is, and I have a cousin who, amongst many people, and I have one specific cousin, I'm not going to mention his name.

1:03:29 He asked me, he said, how am I able to support the unit? How am I able to, where should I come help with the farmers and that? This is already the beginning of the war. I said, dude, don't come in now. Wait for it to end. There's all those houses. There's all, not, I'm saying the homes, the concept of a home. These families' lives have been shattered. And go bring them all in. Bring them, I don't know, take them out for a day. Go to a museum park with them. Shh. Buy them clothes. Whatever it is, there's certain aspects of life that have been taken from these families that they don't know themselves how to do it again. They don't know. I think that's the danger. The danger is people think it's over. For many people this war, the ramifications are now going to be felt.

1:04:20 And because people have this sense like, oh, thank God it's over, like no. For many people it's just beginning. If people move back into homes that literally were destroyed, that all their stuff was destroyed, that now their husbands are coming home but they're not coming home, there's a lot of stuff moving forward that I don't think people realize the job is not done. Just this immediate, urgent part of the job is done. There's still a lot of important work left to be done. There's a lot of work. There's a lot of being together. When people go through hard times, everyone says you need to be around family. But for a lot of people, half of the family is killed. Their homes don't exist. And who's there for them? So the country's going to send money. Great. Donors are going to send money. These are very important things.

1:05:06 It gets you through the day. You're alive. But are you living as a person? I don't know. I don't think so. And I...when I can get back to myself and I don't know when that will be. And I'm not in a state where I'm dysfunctional but I'm fully not fully functional. I would love to be able to help out these people. I just don't know if that's what I can be doing or not. Because my job right now is to take care of my family. And it's just kind of like there's not enough...there's not enough hands. The next phase war transitioning back home Oh yeah, there's a war in Israel, right? Right. What are you getting from chickies tonight? Right, you can... And you should get from chickies! Yeah, you can eat your cereal in the morning and you could watch... It's terrible, that tisk tisk, it's terrible. But you're right, you have to get your chickies and you have to keep living. But at the same time, for you, you're really in Gaza. You don't get your chickies.

1:06:25 And that's that delicate balance of we have to live our lives and we have to be no seba olam havero. I don't know if we can do both well. I don't know, I really, I want to give a big shout out to a lot of my friends and family and people that have been touching me throughout the war to have people reach out, even once every month, you're waiting for it. I didn't know I was waiting for it. I didn't know. And this is very wrong, getting a little bit choked up here. I wish in a certain sense that there was video. Can you feel the emotion? Recorder. Yeah, no, they can't see us, but they have to know that our eyes have been welled up with tears. I don't know how long we've been talking for, but for on and off, the two of us, you know. Yeah, those texts, those calls, how you doing bro? What's going on? From literally, from a person from seven years ago to you, and for that person to send the text every two months, I don't care if he has a Google reminder or whatever it is, it comes. I like it. It helps me.

1:07:26 I'm not doing this myself. It's not that I went off to do a mission and now go figure it out. Let me know. I don't even know if they want me to let me know when I'm done. I knew to send you, Rebbe, a screenshot of when the Chathafim were coming home. I said, this better be over. Because you've been part of my war experience. There are a few people that have been there with me throughout. I got you off. You just had an experience where the army took you all to Binyanayi Ha'ulma. Tell me about that. What was that? Right. So we have this thing called Yimei Ibuud, which is processing days. They take you for, in general, two days away to a hotel. No wives, no children, just no wives and children. Sometimes they bring the wives and children, but specifically for this, for it to work. No wives and children.

1:08:20 You go through all the steps of the war. We were here in the Beilar and you start the day, we started at 10.15, we were psychologists going around in a circle. Everyone had to give a compliment to somebody in their makhaqah. Makhachat HaMakah is a group of, ours is 25 guys. The overall, I'll just think of this as a factor for a second. You have a battalion, which is 500 soldiers. Then you have a platoon, which is 100 soldiers. Then you have a makhachah, which is a squad, I don't know exactly how to translate it. Kids are my group of like 30 guys, 25 guys. That's your makhachah, that's really who you're with throughout the whole war. So we're going around, giving compliments about ways that you picked each other up throughout the war. The next phase war transitioning back home So you don't really, you don't blot anything out. Or at least you're reminded that they're not blotting anything out.

1:09:41 So you're telling the story of the war the last two years to make sure that you're really present in the reality of all of that. Yeah, and specifically within these past three months of this round of Nizah. And it's hard, I mentioned toughy people. When people go through really traumatic experiences, horrible experiences, So when you blot it out part of your life, you get stuck at some point later. It happens to anyone and everyone who has some sort of trauma that they've learned out and it shows up whether it's in Yeshiva or it shows up in a marriage a couple years down the line or it shows up a midlife crisis. It's not really a midlife crisis. It's trauma that you didn't deal with and now it's coming out. It's not that the soldiers choose like, you know, they're not saying, hey, I want to blot this out.

1:10:57 You have to. It's very, very painful. So we just go through that, being together in an environment where you're not scared that somebody is going to be potentially killing you, you're not surrounded by grenades, by magazines or bullets, by guns. You're in different abirai, different mindset, different environment. And it gives you that space to kind of just open up and let loose and feel comfortable around these people and therefore you don't blot things out. Is it a full unpacking of your entire experience? How many days was this processing day? Two days. It was two days this past one. And how many people were there? Hundreds? Thousands? Oh, Chathiva. Six thousand. Not in a veilan. Divided up between different hotels and then we ended up coming to Binyaneh Uma and I. For a certain event where we had a couple different upbeat slideshows And presentations and switching of officers and speakers And that was also really really just huge to see your group of 6,000 soldiers together All sitting there on uniform they make you put on the uniform Because there is a certain identity that you have with that group You are part of this group of 6,000 that carried out this and this and this missions And you know when they say on the screen that you know our Chateva killed 158 M'Chablim,

1:12:30 150 Teras, that's huge. When they say that you took out over 400 tunnel shafts, that's huge. And it's something that's really important to know for the individual Chayal that you're part of something bigger. In the army and outside the army, and that's why I was stressing, it's important to have that community and have those people reaching out to you. Thank God we as a family have built up a solid base here in Israel with a proper community and now we are in the Chalal, a very amazing community there and I'm looking forward to getting an hour to go in there. My wife already knows everyone and I will say hi. Right, exactly that's the point. Your wife moved in, you still haven't moved in? Nope, I don't even know where my regular pants are. Right. Man, I wash my clothes down. I'm glad to hear that.

1:13:51 But you still haven't moved into the community. For you it's still like more of a formal hello. She's gotten more settled there. She's been home. Definitely. I know what I'm about to say is going to sound trite. I think a good way to end is to say thank you. I know I've said it to you before. I certainly have said it to your wife. Years ago, I remember there was a big Sadaka campaign for one of like the Jewish organizations and they raised a lot of money And I was very close with the person who runs that organization and I was talking to him afterwards. I said What was it like to run this really successful campaign? And he said, you know, I always kind of knew that people were behind us But this was like our first big campaign and to see people come out in droves and really say Thank you for all the work that we've done and to raise millions of dollars Those terror tunnels, those 400 terror tunnels, they still exist. Unless people like you go in and destroy them.

1:15:24 And those terrorists, they still exist unless people like you create peace through strength. I went to bed at night. You slept in a ditch in the forest. If it was hot, I turned my air conditioner on. If it was cold, I turned the heater on. You were in the elements. I can come home at night and have dinner. And you're having whatever beef jerky kinsatuna you have There are really no words that anyone will be able to express to you and to your friends for what you've done for us but for whatever it's worth From the bottom of my heart in ways that I will never fully be able to express and perhaps you'll never be able to fully receive On behalf of everyone you saved our lives you really did If it wasn't for you guys, this story could have ended much different. And thank you Hashem for giving us people like you.

1:16:24 And thank you for being a klee to make this happen. It's, like I said, there are no words. And now I'm rambling just because I have so many things I haven't been able to fully articulate. But I guess what it all comes down to is thank you and we're here for you. I appreciate it. Love you so much man Love you too Rav