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Chevra, I missed you so much. I missed. I missed all the guys that Baruch Hashem are back. I missed all the guys that have taken the next steps that Fabe brings with us on so many Thursday nights. I missed all the guys that hadn't yet come to yeshiva. We were waiting for you for so long. We're so glad you're here to be with you tonight in yeshiva. I don't even know what time it is. So late on a Thursday night, after such a long day, to have bring together is the biggest privilege of my life. It's just so good to be back together. There's so many thank yous to go around. So much hakaras hatov. I just want to say one small thank you. And I know I'm really speaking on behalf of the entire yeshiva. Last year on Yom Kippur By Kol Nidre, I said my money's on besti. I'm not taking my money off the table, but I just want to say that was so exceptionally beautiful.
The way that you play it. Especially when we were playing L'chaim Arlibi, just Mamish Mikol Alev. I want to say thank you so much. Made such a beautiful farbrangin tonight, and I know I'm speaking on behalf of the entire yeshiva. The hour is very late. Sometimes when it comes to speaking by mishmar I have something in my head, something prepared. And I'm not always so excited by it, not because it's not a beautiful tirah, but because it's not coming from a place that's deep inside of myself, and I try to share something real. And this week I was in Beis Medrash before yeshiva started, and I saw a shstickel tirah, and I said, "This it. This what I'm speaking about." By the first mishmar It's not only an avaida for all of Elul. I think it's an avoda for what it means to be a part of our yeshiva.
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The pasuk in this week's parsha says, "Zachar es asher as also Hashem alokechol Miriam baderach b'tzeischem miMitzrayim." Remember what Hakadosh Baruch Hu did to Miriam when you were on your way out of Mitzrayim. And Rashi explains that a person has to be careful. That they should not become chas v'shalom, stricken with saras Which we know comes from the aveirah of speaking lashon hara. Remember, Rashi says that Miriam spoke lashon hara against her brother Moshe Rabbeinu And therefore she got saras. The Ramban In his sagas, the Ramban to save for mitzvos He actually counts this as one of the positive mitzvos that we have. The Remban says we have a special mitzvah Verbally and emotionally even To recall Mashaos liyisal leMiriam k'shedibra b'achia To remember what happened to Miriam when she spoke negatively about Moshe Rabbeinu. I have a simple question: Since when do we have a mitzvah?
To remember someone's average. This doesn't sound like the Yiddishkeit that we've come to know and love. Could you imagine a guy in Yeshiva Chas v'Shalom makes a mistake And for all of eternity Every word of Torah is nitzchias. Every word of Torah is eternal. And every Yid has to recall, has to remember. Miriam once spoke lashon hara about Moshe Rabbeinu when she got tzaras. Since when do Yidden remember the averes of other Yidden? And not only that But the Rambam. If you take a look The Rambam in hilchos tumas haras The Rambam describes the relationship between Moshe Rabbeinu and Miriam. And the Rambam says Miriam was the older sister And she raised him on her knees. The Rambam says, and not only that. But she put herself in a state of sakana to follow Moshe Rabbeinu when he was put into the river when he was a child. We know that Miriam followed him.
She put herself in a malchum sakana because she loved her brother. And really, the Rambam says she didn't even say anything so terrible. What did she say? She said Moshe Rabbeinu is like all the other neviim. What's the backstory here? We'll just take a second to remind ourselves. The backstory is as follows. Elad and Medad started to have nevuah in the middle of the camp. Chazal tell us, Rashi brings from the Sifri and from the Medrash That when they started to be m'snave, when they started to prophesize, so Miriam was standing next to Zipporah Zipporah being the wife of Moshe Rabbeinu And Zipporah said, Woe is to these wives of Eldad and Medad now that it seems that their husbands have started to become neviim. Tziporah said, "Why?" Miriam said, "Why?" Tziporah said, "Why?" What are you so nervous about that they started to say nevuah? Why would that impact the wives?
And Tziporah said, "What do you mean?" My husband, my shir abenu. He separated from me. We're married, but he's no longer a husband to me because he has nivuah. And Miriam was thrown off by this. She said, "How could that possibly be? I'm also a navi" And I don't have to separate from my husband Kalev. And she went and she told Aaron and Koyim, 'Do you know that Moshe Rabbeinu separated from his wife Zipporah?' So she said a little bit of lashon hara, but the Rambam says, 'What did she say? It wasn't even so bad. All she did was compare Moshe Rabbeinu to other nevi'im. Other nevi'im don't have to separate from their spouses. How come Moshe Rabbeinu has to separate from his? But clearly Miriam loved Moshe Rabbeinu very much.' So a woman who loves her brother so much, who put herself in a state of saknas and the faslas for her brother And she said a little bit of lashon hara, a fraction of an amount of lashon hara. And now, for all of eternity, Every yid has to remember that Miriam did an avera and she spoke lashon hara about Moshe Rabbeinu.
How could that possibly be? It's a simple kasha. I know it's a klutz kasha, but it's a good kasha. I still think. You'll say no, but we have to remember that we shouldn't say lashon hara. I know, but that's not like every single halacha. We have a halacha that we have to eat kosher. We have halacha. We have diet kosher. I have to have a halacha to remember people that didn't eat kosher? The Torah tells us to keep kosher. The Torah tells us don't speak lashon hara. Fine, so we won't speak lashon hara. I have to remember that Miriam spoke lashon hara. What's going on over here? Not only that But to dramatize the question a little more The wording of the pasuk is very specific. Zacher as Asher Asa Hashem Elokeichem leMiriam b'Derech b'Tzeitchem Mitzrayim. It sounds eerily similar to another pasuk in our parsha, Zacher as Asher Asa l'cha Amalek b'Derech b'Tzeischemi Mitzrayim. And the Mefarshim already point out that the structure is exactly the same. Remember what Amalek did to you when you were leaving Mitzrayim. Remember what Miriam did when she was leaving Mitzrayim. It's like Miriam and Amalek.
How could the Torah possibly put together Miriam and Amalek? All of the Rishonim are clear. She said fractional amounts of lashon hara. She's compared to Amalek, the strangest thing in the world. So I want to share with you a var that I saw from Rabbi Yechonon Zwi Echelita. It's mamish, unbelievable. This var. It's for Elul. This var is what it means to be a part of our yeshiva. This Torah has to be the Torah that every single one of us lives with for our entire lives. And Rvzweig says it as follows. I'll say it in my words, but I think this is what he meant. Chaver, we think when we look at the world We think we're seeing what's actually happening. But the emes is kdamri inchi. We do not see the world as it is. We see the world as we are. We see the world through the prism of our own eyes, and we assume that we know exactly what's going on.
So I look at somebody and I see them doing something, and I say, "I know exactly what it means that person is doing this" Because that's what I would have done in this situation. So we see something happen and we jump to a conclusion. But when we jump to a conclusion, chevra, we should know we're not speaking about them. We're speaking about us. When we look at another yid who's doing something that's not necessarily the best, and we say, 'Do you see what that guy did?' and we jump all over it. Forget lashon hara for a second. Before we even open our mouths. You look at another yid and you're like, "I know what he's doing" Because that's what I would have done in that situation. You're not saying anything about the other guy. You're only speaking about yourself. Because the narrative that you're giving about this story belongs to you. It's really the story of how you see yourself.
But we're convinced that when we look at others, we're convinced. I know exactly what that guy just did. And it's not true. When Miriam looked at Moshe Rabenu, she said, Moshe Rabenu separated from his wife. And it was actually like the Rambam says it was the right thing for him to separate from his wife, that was the halacha by him But Miriam thought it was a chumrah. She thought it was a chumrah. So Miriam said, "How could my brother" Who I love so dearly and his wife How could my brother have taken upon himself a chumrah that comes at the expense of another yid's feelings? That's what was going on in Miriam's head. Miriam was nespal from this. She went to Aaron. She said, "Brother Aaron, how could it possibly be that our brother, a kadosh elyon Could he possibly take upon himself a chumrah that would hurt another yid?
But however, that's not what Moshe Rabbeinu was doing. That's what Miriam would have done if she was in that situation. Miriam, if she separated from Kalev, it would have been b'tayras chumrah. So she took that lens and she put it on Moshe Rabbeinu. And that was her mistake. The mistake was, says Rav Zwiegen, it was worth traveling six thousand miles just to hear this vart. You could go home after this, but you could. After you hear this, the mitzvah is over. Now you have to spend your life orienting yourself towards living this. But this is the Torah. What was the mistake of Miriam? She wasn't searching for another yids milas. That when she saw Moshe Rabbeinu doing something wrong, she jumped to say, 'he's being too frum at another person's expense.' But it never occurred to her to say Maybe my brother is not like me.
Maybe my brother, of course, he's greater. There was no question that Miriam was comparing the quality of the nevuah of Moshe Rabbeinu to the quality of the nevuah of Miriam. Obviously, Moshe Rabbeinu was the greatest navi. But Miriam didn't understand. It's not just that Moshe Rabbeinu was the greatest navi. She said, "If Moshe Rabbeinu is the greatest navi, he doesn't have to separate from his wife. Just like I don't have to separate from Kalev. Just like Aaron doesn't have to separate from his wife." The chisaron of Miriam is she didn't think to herself, "Maybe my brother is more than just the greatest navi." Maybe he has a whole new level of nevuah called nevuah Moshe Rabbeinu, and maybe nevuah Moshe Rabbeinu obligates him to leave his wife. She didn't look for her brother's milus. She didn't look to see how she could see something positive in her brother. She ran to assume the worst.
Chavrat lashon hara doesn't start with the words that you speak about another yid. Lashon hara starts when you look at another yid and they're doing something wrong. And you're already searching for the thing that they're doing wrong without saying maybe there's something more going on here. Maybe there's a mila that this person has that obligates them to act in that way. This is not called being dan lekavzchos. This is much bigger than being dan lekavzchos. Dan lekavzchos is like I saw a guy walk into a Burger King and maybe he has an ulcer, so he had to go into a Burger King in this moment and he had to have a cheeseburger because otherwise he was going to die. That's dan lekavzchos. This is something much bigger than dan lekavzchos. I'm looking at another yid. I was talking with Alicia Payson tonight. We were talking about the fact that a yid has to have X-ray vision.
You have to have X-ray vision. A yid has to look past. He has to see past the veneer of the surface of a person. He has to look past all of it. He has to see the a yid's axtmius. Rav Zwiak says the lashon of toycha. What does it mean to rebuke someone? Toycha is from a lashon of toych. You have to see inside of them and kayach. You have to see their strength. You rebuke another yid. You know what you're really doing? To rebuke another yid with teicha means to look at them and say, 'I see the unbelievable greatness that you have inside of you.' Not chas v'shalom to tear another yid down with teicha. And that's why a person needs to be so careful when they say teicha. Teicha should never make a person feel worse about themselves. A person should walk away from teicha saying, 'Wow, that's how this person sees me.' So for the halacha of lashon hara.
It's not enough for the Torah to tell us not to say lashon hara. The Torah could say don't eat a cheeseburger, and we'll say, "Don't eat a cheeseburger." But when it comes to lashon hara, the Torah needs to tell us there's a special mitzvah Special mitzvah. Remember Miriam. Miriam and Nevia. She barely spoke lashon hara. But remember, we're not treating the symptom. We're treating the disease. The symptom is lashon hara. The disease is how you see another yid. Are you looking to see the worst? Some people, they come from such a painful place in their life, all they could see is the brokenness of other people, and they don't know that they're speaking about themselves. They're walking around going, this guy's like this, and this guy's like this, and this guy's not serious, and this guy's not stark, and this guy missed minion. You're only talking about yourself.
You're only talking about yourself. You look at the guy and you go, I don't know. I gotta find this greatness. I gotta search it out. Say I'm nicer about Rishlomah Freifeld, the Kaddoshal Bracha, who was the founding Rosh Yeshiva of Shariyoshev. Rish Freifeld He said a negative thing about a certain boy in yeshiva, and then a couple days later at a rebbe meeting, one of the rebbeim in yeshiva said the same exact thing about this bacher. And Rish Freifeld jumped up and he said, "No, you don't understand. This bacher, he excels in this area." And everybody was sort of mystified because Refael had said the same thing just a couple days earlier. Refael had spent the last couple of days searching for this kid's milos, so that he shouldn't chas v'shalom define him in the negative. That's what it means to have beautiful eyes to see people for who they really are. David HaMelech is described as yafei nayim.
Doesn't mean he had blue eyes, says the Alexander Rebbe. It means he had beautiful eyes. He knew how to see people. Chaver, we're about to spend a year together, probably more. And I just want to say, it's close quarters. We're living on top of each other. We're living on top of each other. Baruch Hashem, in the Beit Midrash, it's packed. In Shira rooms, in the dorms, on Tiyulim. We're living on top of each other. When we live so close to each other, you live in close quarters. You could bump up against each other. And in those moments when you bump up against each other, you have a choice. The choice is to tie somebody up and define them negatively. Or to search for their milus. I often struggle with what it means to be a real bentira. It's so it's so vast. Learning, davening, mussar. Hashkafa, all the things that a boy is working on. What does it mean to be a real bantira?
I don't know if there's one definition But I know this: the real bnei Torah of our yeshiva. They're a circle that's getting bigger and bigger, and a circle that gets bigger and bigger. It encompasses more and more people. People who are in their own small circle, in their own dalelamos, only taking care of themselves. I don't think that's the way the Rebbeinu Shlom wants us to live. Not in this yeshiva. In this yeshiva, even though it might be very tight quarters Our circles are very large. We hold each other, contain each other, love each other, and see each other. Will it take time to develop this? Absolutely. But that's our avodah. It's not just an avodah for elul, which of course it is. Because we're coming to the Rebbeinu Shlomo on Yomim Noraim on Rosh Hashanah, we're going to be mamlechah Kodesh Baruch Hu together. That's the only way to be mamlechah Hashem.
There is no way, to my knowledge, for us to do tshuva without doing it together. All of the alchets are belashon rabbim. There is no way, to my understanding. I know very little, but from what I know. All of Klal Yisrael sits in one sukkah. There is no way to have Simchas Torah without each other. There is no way to have Beis Hamikdash without each other. I don't know. If anybody here has a different teretz, I would love to hear it. I don't know how a yid strikes if he strikes alone. When I was growing up in yeshiva. I went to a yeshiva in elementary school called Yeshiva Darchei Torah. My rasha shiva is Rabbi Bender Shlita, who I'm zayicha to have a relationship with. Adi Yomazei, I promise you, I can remember the shmuzin from seventh grade. I remember Rabbi Bender sitting in the front of our shul screaming at us on Friday, saying, "Learn with a weaker bacher."
A guy has a chavruta, and he says, "But I'm stronger" So maybe I should team up with a stronger guy so that we can learn better together. And I remember Rabbi Bender screaming. He said, 'You have the opportunity to turn your tirah into chesed.' Why wouldn't you learn with a guy that's weaker than you? But you'll say, 'But I couldn't learn better with a guy if he was stronger.' Chaver, I promise you If you turn your tirah into tirah chesed, it will be unbelievable. You'll learn ten times as much that way. What does it mean to be a real bentira? Not just in the beis medrash, learning with a guy, going over to a guy who is having a hard time. I'm sure there are guys in this room right now that are having a hard time. I'm sure there are guys in this room right now that are feeling a little left out. Maybe he comes from a place that isn't with another ten, fifteen guys that he came with.
Are we sensitive to each other? Are we searching him out? Are we searching for those milas? It's easy to be in your own dalaramos. It's easy to sit at the same lunchroom table with all of your chevrach that you know from the five towns in Los Angeles and Tinek and Chicago and Florida and Chveznesh, wherever you're from. It's easy to do that. It's also very sad. It's very tragic. People that live in their own dalaramos be expansive. We have lots of new guys. That means lots of new friends. That means lots of new family. That's an unbelievable opportunity. Are you searching each other out? Are you looking for each other's milas? When you got to Sheer today for the first time and you looked around in your Sheer room Did you look around and say Are these guys my guys? Or did you look around and say, 'These guys are my guys'? How many of us got on the plane and were looking around, wanting to see what it's like. Who's coming to Mevs? Who's going to have burgers this year?
The Shana Bet guys know that's a compliment. Looking forward to soup on Friday night. I remember Meishan Aleph. I got off the plane. I was very nervous. I was very nervous. A bunch of Ramaz guys coming to Mivaseret that year. I already decided I didn't like them from my senior year. Because we lost to them. And the whole plane ride, I was obsessed. Did I make the right choice? Did I not make the right choice? Now I knew when I made the right choice to come to Mivaseret. By baggage on the carousel, everyone's sitting there waiting for their bags, and nobody wants to stand out. And all of a sudden, I saw one Mivaseret guy get on the baggage claim and lie down like a piece of luggage. And just go around and around waiting to be claimed. It was 1998, boys. You realize what that means?
It's almost 27 years of burgers. That's when I knew I was home. As this is my yeshiva. That guy is one of my very good friends. Adayo maseh. Shout out to Elliot. Chaver, we have such a beautiful yeshiva. The milas are obvious. You look at a person's face. There's glowing. It's glowing in the hallways. It's glowing in the room right now. We could have negative eyes, or we could have positive eyes. We could be leaders, or we could be followers. We could change all of Klal Yisrael. There's enough people in this room right now that if we see each other—not just for the good, but for the amazing—we could create such a movement in Klal Yisrael. It's a whole room full of Berditchevers. I know that. But everyone here is baderach. Everyone here is on the way, and everyone is in the process of leaving their own mitsrayim. And chevr, I want to tell you when you're leaving mitsrayim.
That's when it's hard. Leaving mitsrayim isn't a period in time. It's not like the moment you leave. When we left mitsrayim, a malach attacked right away. Miriam doesn't happen until a little bit after that. You can't call that leaving Mitzrayim. But chevr, we're all leaving Mitzrayim. And a yid has to remember when you're leaving Mitzrayim in your baderach. You have a choice. You could chas v'shalom attack. You could attack another yid as he's leaving Mitzrayim and say, 'See, he's not a complete thing.' You see how he's battling in the beis medrash. You see that this guy struggles sometimes to go to Minyan. You see that this guy struggles sometimes to have kavana. You could sit there and look around and say, 'Look, they're not enough.' That's what happens. Or chas v'shalom. If a yid sees another yid and he's not looking for his milus, he could say, "chumrah" A chumrah, frumer At the expense of another yid.
Man, you missed it. You missed it. You had such an opportunity. To be expansive. You had an opportunity to see each other in a beautiful way. I daven that we should do that this year. I daven that we should do that together as a tzibur. I daven that every one of you. There's a lot of talk about the size of our yeshiva. We're not mere. It's not like there's ten thousand guys here, and we're also not a. We're not twenty guys in some klois somewhere just learning. There's a lot of us here. That's beautiful. That's beautiful. Let's lean into it. I don't know if we have to define the size of the yeshiva. Are we big? Are we small? Are we medium? Extra medium? I know one thing. There's so many precious yidden here. I daven that we should see each other's milos. I daven that by the end of the year, guys should say, "I'm so lucky to be in our yeshiva with so many amazing guys."
I was watching today when they were calling out the shiurim. I watched. There were a couple of guys. I don't call them out yet by name. I don't want to be mevazah anybody berabim soon, b'ezrus Hashem, but not yet. There are a couple of guys that when they got up, they whispered to themselves. They said, 'What a squad!' What a squad! I love that. Firstly, I love the word 'squad.' That's a beautiful word. We're not a she'er; we're a squad. I like that. But think about that guy. He looked around and he said, "Wow, what a squad!" Who wouldn't want to be his friend? Who wouldn't want to be in a relationship with someone that looks around and sees other guys and says, 'These guys are amazing.' That's the way we see you guys. You guys are amazing. I hope that's the way you will see each other. Bez Hashem, if we could see each other this way, then Bez Hashem, Gantz Klaw Yisrael could see each other this way. And the more we see each other as the true, beautiful Yidden that we are, Bez Hashem, we should be zeicher to bring Mashiach together.
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