Alei Shur - 17

2:49 The bracha that will one day come to every single person. On each one of them. When it comes to the brachos that Yaakov gave to his children, we have to understand, Each bracha was specifically designed according to what was appropriate for each one of the shvatim, according to their nature, and according to their midos. we see that when where we see this like primarily when Yosef wanted Menashe to get the bracha of the bracha, Yaakov answered. I know I know my son but ultimately the small one will become greater. how is this an answer to Yosef's question Yosef is saying I know the bracha that you're about to give. this is the bracha that I will give, So what's Yosef saying? I want this bracha to go to this child. What's Yaakov's answer? But this one will be greater? How is that an answer to the question? It's not, he's not, you know how sometimes the question doesn't fit, the answer doesn't fit the question? So he's saying, this is my oldest son, give the berchas of bracha to him. No, he'll become greater than him. What's one got to do with the other?

4:31 Yaakov is saying to Yosef something unbelievable. He's saying, the bracha that I'm giving, it has to be in line with the person. Just because Menashe is older, doesn't make him, for the purposes of this bracha, appropriate. The appropriate bracha will go to the appropriate child. That's what the Pasuk was saying, that each one got the bracha that was appropriate for them. So Ephraim had to get the bracha sabachar. It's not the pshat that it was Menashe's bracha that Ephraim stole. It was Ephraim's bracha. Yosef is looking at it and saying, it's the bracha sabachar. It's not the bracha sabachar. It's the bracha for the person whose teva and whose midos are appropriate for that. Everyone understand that? Make sense? So when we speak about a bracha, what is a bracha really? Like when you're getting a bracha from Yaakov Avinu, what is a bracha really? It gives you an insight fundamentally into the nature of who you are. V'yotzei lanu limud nifle comes out with something unbelievable. Delefize nimse shekol ma'aloso.

5:34 shekol echa me'a shvatim hayu etzlo tevim. Every single ma'ilo that we find by the shvatim, it was natural. It's who they were. Prishuso shel yosef ha-tzadik prisha da'choi kol gvuroso bema'isa potifera hayu etzlo mitzara teva mishum shoya be-teva parash v'kadosh. When we say that yosef ha-tzadik was a parash, meaning he was abstaining from the physical world what gave him the capacity. to separate himself from eisha's potifar. that's who he was in his nature he's a parash v'kadosh v'chein Yehuda atu yodacha achicha es odisa v'lo behitta ma lezu shal hoda berabim ha yisala mitzad tev when Yehuda admitted in front of everyone that Tamar was tzadka mimeni that Tamar was more righteous than he and that it was he who had impregnated Tamar and that Tamar was hiding who she was in order to protect his dignity. what gave him the capacity to be modi berabim and to say she's right that was his nature so v'im chein l'chor ma kol harash hazeh shal yidey zacha l'malchus lo hayezetz lo l'dovrativi so then what's the big deal if somebody comes and does something that's natural to them, They're not rewarded, so to speak, for the thing that they did, because that's who they are. So Yehudah was moda b'rabim, that Tamar became pregnant from him. Right? So what would you say?

7:06 Wow. Unbelievable. For this, he's Eichel HaMalchus. But what if that's who he was? What if it's in his name? That's who Yehudah was. Hodam means to admit. So he didn't do anything so chashu. Elamai, what's going to be the answer? Correct. Ve'limu dap mizad davar nifl. We see from this something unbelievable. Sheh rakah yidey shmir yisma'al lovsev, ha'knuyas etzlo b'teva, b'vad zoch ha'adam l'chol shleimusav eschusav. It's not... The godless was not that that's who Yehudah was. That didn't take any work. What was the work? The work was to be shaymer on these ma'ilahs that a person has, to acquire these ma'ilahs that are natural inside of you. Meaning, just because you naturally have them doesn't mean they're going to be accessed. How many of us know very smart people that do nothing with their intelligence? How many of us know very lazy people that be'etzim could be very turned on, but their laziness is holding them down? Or a person who's depressed, whatever it is, a person has certain blockages. Those blockages, they don't allow you access to who you really are.

8:06 So when we talk about unlocking greatness inside of a person, unlocking greatness doesn't mean you're becoming somebody that you're not. In fact, it's exactly the opposite. What are you doing? You're becoming who you actually are. What's preventing you from becoming who you are? The fact that you haven't accessed the inner talents that you have. So trying to be something that you're not is a foolish endeavor. You can never become something that you're not. People will tell you, yeah, but you can get better in certain areas. Yeah, but only if you have that capacity. Sometimes this is very depressing to people. Because they want to become a ten in a particular area. But they're not. It doesn't, it's not going to make a difference. Yeah, but I'll be honest with you, I don't think it's going to make a difference. I was talking with somebody recently and he says, I want to become a, like I want to become a humble person. You know, like really like one of those Shvelim. Like a real person is like a very like, so I'm like, yeah, it's not going to happen.

9:15 So he was like very upset at me for saying that. He's like, what do you mean? So I was like, well, would you even want it to happen? He's like, yeah, because I'm coming off as arrogant to people and I'm, like, bumping into people, you know, and I'm hurting them. I was like, look, right now let's say you're at a 3 or a 4. Maybe we could get you to a 6 or a 7. But if you got to a 10, there would be tremendous negative impact. Like, you would have to cut off a lot of parts of yourself to get there. And to be honest with you, I don't think you could get there, and I don't think it'll last. It's not who you are. So godless is not to become somebody that you're not. There are certain talents that we all have inside of us, and we have to ratchet up those talents. But it's already who you are. Yeah. So the fact that Mita means, so it doesn't mean to reach the perfection of that Mita, it means rather there is a perfection of the path that you have.

10:08 That's right. There's this guy right now, if he became the person that he wants to become, I don't think he would, he's right now successful in business. I don't think he would continue to be as successful as he is, right? There is a certain gaiva, not a bad gaiva, but a certain gaiva to being able to get up in front of a group of people and sell, right? And if he loses that capacity because all of a sudden he becomes one of those edelmedal, like, maybe you'll buy some of my stuff. Epis, you know, like, you have to say epis if you want to become, like, an edelmedal, right? Maybe. It's cute, but you're probably not going to be very good at what you do. But down the line, is it not possible to reach the person who's going to be there.

10:47 Don't know. You don't know the person, you don't know. Right. But, Lamar, so let's take a CEO, right? How many things does a CEO need to sacrifice along the way to become a CEO? Well, look at his life, right? He's the guy that's relentless, right? There was a lot of competition to become the CEO. And he does all of it. It doesn't matter. There was a lot of competition to become the CEO. What did he have to do to become the CEO? Think about how many people he had to step on. Think about how many political games he had to play. Think about how successful he had to become, how many late nights he had to work. What was the negative impact of all of that? I know the positive impact. He's a millionaire. What's the negative impact? Tell me about his children. Tell me about his married life. Tell me about the way that people in shul or in the community experience him. There's a lot of negatives that come with that. So telling people, well, you're going to become the next CEO, maybe, right? And he'll ratchet up those, you know, he'll dial up all those competitive aspects in his life to 10. What's going to be the negative impact? Well, it's no different if you decide to ratchet up to 10 your humility, right? There's going to be negative impact along the way, right?

11:51 For one person, what's humble and what's able and what's right might not be right for the next person. I was having this conversation literally with somebody today. And they were saying that they know a person who's suffering tremendously because of their way of being. This person is a... Very protective of their children, we'll say it like that, right? And they're highly emotional. Their children are also in a very tough space. And this person was saying that maybe it's partially because of this parent, that's dialed up to 10, right? So I was like, okay, well, if you took that away, what would be the negative impact? They said, well, what do you mean negative impact? It would be great. It would be great for them, and it would be great for their kids, right? I'm like, well, maybe it would be great for their kids, but maybe their kids right now are thriving over the fact that they have a parent that locks arms with them and absolutely protects them. Maybe that's what they need. I don't know what the negative impact would be if all of a sudden the mother, or the father in this case, shifted out of that, right? It's not so passionate to me. You have to know who you are. Hakadosh Baruch Hu gave you certain midos that you have inside of you, right?

12:54 What happens if you start to shift out and start focusing on your more minor midos? You might lose some major things along the way. The godless of Yehudah is that he was Yehudah. He had the capacity to do that. So the Pesach says, Behi baram, Chazal say, Al tekri behi baram, Ela ba'avraham. Meaning there was a creation called Avram Avinu. Godless was that he became Avram Avinu. He had it inside of him. We do not have it inside of us to become Avram Avinu. But that's like the famous story, right? They're not going to ask me if I became Maisha Abenu. They're going to ask me if I was Zusha. Shailes, will they ask you if you're you? The hardest thing in the world is authenticity. That's the hardest thing in the world. Because you'll naturally see somebody that's doing great in a particular area and you'll want to do that. But who says that that's the right thing for you.

13:42 A lot of what we strive at, we look at role models, we strive at... We strive for greatness based on what we see in them. It's a little bit of a mistake, right? Because if you strive to be like someone else, you're going to lose parts of yourself along the way. And here's the good news, right? Those people didn't look at their role models, quote-unquote, and try to become like them. They looked at their role models for inspiration as to what it could look like when you dialed up a particular mida. And we all need to work on certain midas, right? I'm not saying a person shouldn't be humble or more humble than they are. Of course, we could all be more humble than we are. But what would be the negative impact of that? So the reason they got to where they are as role models.

14:22 is because they strove for authenticity. So we should be looking at them to strive for the authenticity within ourselves. But if at the end of 120 years you can come and you can say, look at me, I was the next Durasalvachik, I was the next Lubavitcher, I was the next Rav Kok, I was the next Rav Victor Miller, or Rav Hutner, or Rav Aaron Cutler, or Rav Moshe Feinstein, or Rav Yaakov Kamenetsky, then Rav Ben Shalom is going to say, but what did you do with Shmuel Gelfish? He already had all those good elements. He's waiting for you. Make sense? It's hard to hear sometimes. You know what's really amazing about it. You'll find yourself naturally attracted to certain role models for a reason. In other words, two people can be sitting right next to each other studying by the same Rebbe. The Rebbe's Torah is an amazing Torah, and one of them finds themselves like, yeah, that's my Rebbe, and the other person's like, nah, not so much. Why? It's because they're probably seeing the mitos in that Rebbe that they see inside of themselves, and they're actualizing it. And when it's not in flow with one another, they'll know. So it's like, I'm always curious when I go to people's homes, to see which g'daylov they have up on the walls.

15:46 Like, if you've got Rav Shlomo Zalem on your wall, that says something, right? That means you're looking for, like, this happy, shiny, like, very sweet, all-encompassing type of gadol to be the person on your wall. And if you're looking at Rabban Kotler, it's like, that's it, just go for that, right? If you have Rav Kluck, you know, it's going to be more of that, like, Zionistic, see the Kedusha in every Jew, even in Jews that are doing things that are absolutely secular, but you can redefine it in a particular way. Everyone finds their gadolim for a reason, right? Does that make sense? Okay. The truth is, when we talk about a person's work on themself, we're looking at the things that are natural to you. So that's how you come to shlemas. That's how you come to completion. Shukur yishapich l'tov. V'av tiviv midos v'ayroim yishapichu l'gamrei l'tov. If you start to work on this positive thing, he's going to say this a little bit later, but if you start to work on this positive thing and you actualize, these are the positive midos in my life, not only will your midos become like rock solid, these are good midos, it'll even have an impact on the negative midos, which is a big thing to say. every one of us every single person.

17:17 has a specific midah that's natural by us which is absolutely good. every one of us could look at another person and say do you know this person this person he rages I can't understand how this person rages like that right and it's so, it's so like. how could you be that type of way right, what do you think that person is saying about you. it's so right in that case right it's like he's such a judgmental person that's why I get so angry at them right this person allows people to walk all over them you know what that person is saying back to you, I don't understand how this person could just be so forceful and like not listening or be empathetic to others. We're so like, like we could see another person's bad midah, but everyone sees that in us too. They see our thing. So, okay, so you see his bad midah, but he also has an amazing midah, one that you don't have. So the question is, how do you become aware of your positive midos? Meaning, we have now in the room 10 people, 11 if you include me, okay? And Nachi's here in spirit. He's doing chesed today.

18:48 Okay. What would you say, Rabbi Yosef? You think any one of us are overlapping on any level? Each one of us is so specific. That there's always something that we have that the other person doesn't, that we can excel in, in a way that another person can't. And that means we have to become self-aware of that midah, and that's the midah that has to drive us. And if you're trying to become something you're not, it's going to fall apart. I've told this story many times before, but I'll repeat it again. The mashkiach of the yeshiva, you've heard this story from me, used to sit right there, right in the corner, back when this room was part of the beis medrash. That was his seat. And he would sit and he would meet with guys. But he would overlook, he would see the walkway out through the back of the chadarochah. And one time he saw me, and I was walking, my hands clasped, my head down, walking up the back of the road over here to the beis medrash. And all of a sudden I hear, he starts screaming, Berg, what are you doing? Come here!

19:51 I'm cleaning it up a little, yeah? And I came up, and he's like, you are not Vogel. Because this guy, Adam Vogel, who's now Rav Asher Vogel, who's a huge tamchachim, you know, serious bantayra, but also like a very sweet guy. And I'm not a sweet person. I don't know if you've met me over the course of the year, but sweetness is not my natural default position. I'm not a sweet guy, but I said, I've got to be more like Vogel, because that's the right way to be. And he tore me a new one. He's like, you're not Vogel. I'm like, isn't that the right way to be?

20:21 He's like, of course not. You're going to drive yourself crazy. You're going to commit suicide. You're going to jump off the roof. What the heck is wrong with you? Why would you do that? You can't imagine. And I was like, here I thought I was doing like a good growth-oriented thing. He was like, what is wrong with you? Now, every time I tell this story, to be honest with you, every time I tell this story in front of my wife, she shakes her head being like. shoot, you know, like if Meshkiach wouldn't have given him that muzzer, maybe I could have been married to some, you know, like really, really nice guy. But the truth of the matter is that if I would have become that guy, I don't think she would have married me either. You know what I'm saying? Like there's a certain a certain tipus, you know that guy, he's like such a.

20:53 you've had those Rebbeim, right? Those Rebbeim, they're like, everybody's a tzaddik and everybody's amazing, right? And it's nice to be around those people, right? And some of us are deeply attracted to those people, and some of us want the Rebbe that's going to come to us and give it to us straight, right? And say like, listen, what are you doing, right? And that Rebbe, that sweet Rebbe is never going to do that, so you have to know who you are. I'm just moving a little fast because I want to get, if you see on the bottom of the top over here there's this circle that I'm sure some of you are wondering. about, so I want to get to that because that's the anchor of today. Just like we all have our positive Middos, we all have our negative Middos.

21:58 It's specifically when it comes to the good mida that you have, that you're going to be able to uproot the bad mida that you have. Both of them are natural to you. Both of them are things, it's not accidental. I'm sure you've heard this before, but every Rebbe says it. You think you know a kid until you meet his parents by parent-teacher conferences, and then it's like, oh. Like, now I get it, right? You ever hear teachers say that before? I met your father for the first time, it's like, now I got you. Same thing as a counselor in camp. Yeah, for sure. Parents come on visiting day, and you're like, oh. Did I ever tell you the worst parent-teacher conference story of all time? I think I told it. It's a Gavavik one. One.

22:38 I had a Rebbe who was a known liar. He would lie very, very often. And it was a joke in the class because we knew he was a liar. One time he quoted a taisos in Baba Mitzia. And, like, we all pretty much knew that there was no such taisos in Baba Mitzia. One of my chaveres pulled out a Baba Mitzia and went through every taisos in Baba Mitzia. There was no taisos like that in Baba Mitzia. He was constantly making things up. So I'll never forget this Rebbe because he's a funny guy. But, like, he was the guy that when he walked in the room and nobody stood up, he would go like this to us and he would, like, stand up. He was a certain type of guy. Okay, whatever, he was a liar. I pulled the worst trick on him of all time, but I blame my Rosh Yeshiva. This way I don't have to deal with it, right? My Rosh Yeshiva told us a story. We had my Rosh Yeshiva for the first hour and a half of Shira and then the second hour and a half we had this Rebbe. So Rosh Yeshiva told us a story that there was a Rebbe that he had that was a known liar. And the Rebbe, meaning our Rosh Yeshiva, when he was a kid, he quoted a Chuvah's Hagrazahm.

23:42 And the Rebbe was like, oh, I know that Teshuva. And everyone in the class burst out laughing because Hagrazahm was Hagayner Zevmeir, which was the name of our Rosh Yeshiva. He made up his own, like he was the guy. So everyone in my class was laughing when they heard the story because we were like, that's the Rebbe we have next, period. So, of course, 15-year-old Matt Berg decides, I'll play the same prank that my Rosh Yeshiva played on the Rebbe. Right? So the Rebbe said something, and I was like, but Rebbe, isn't there a Chuvah's Hagrazahm that goes against that? So he goes, yeah, I've seen that Teshuva many times, and I've never understood it. So my Hebrew name is Mordechai Tzvi Moshe Yaakov. So Hagrazahm was me. So everyone burst out laughing. Now this Rebbe didn't know what happened, but he knew I did something, so he threw me out. So I figured, all right, no skin off my back, right? He threw me out to the reshiva. What am I going to do? I'm going to come to the reshiva and say, I did exactly the thing that you told us to do. He can't get me in trouble, right? Because the Rebbe clearly looked. So I went downstairs, and I knocked on the reshiva's door. I come in.

24:44 I said, I got sent here by Rabbi Plony. He goes, what did you do? I said, I told him that a chubasagram is me. And he's like, he went like this. I'll never forget. He's like, whoop. Because he knew the pickle. He goes, why did you do that? That's what I said, because he's a known liar. I knew I wasn't going to get in trouble. The problem was that shortly after that was parent-teacher conferences. So I was like, uh. I was a little nervous for parent-teacher conferences because my parents didn't exactly know, you know, what was going on there. So I didn't, I was, you know the move, right? When your parents come home from parent-teacher conferences, what's the move? Be asleep, right? Because no matter what it is, 12 hours later when you wake up or whatever it is, it's going to be better, right? And then you've got to go off to school, so it can't be that long. You know, it's a 20-minute window where they see you, right? And then by the time 24 hours rolls around, it's going to be infinitely better. And if I have basketball practice or I'm going to a friend's house to study, I knew how to push it off a couple of days until the, you know, the temperature lowered, right? So a couple weeks later, I hear my parents' car pull up to the house.

25:46 I quickly turn off the lights and pretend to be sleeping. My father and mother come in. My father goes, get up, right? Like, he knew exactly what I was doing. So I'm like, what, what? So I roll over. He goes, I've got to tell you an amazing story. So I'm like, this is weird. I'm like, I'm waiting for it to fall. He goes, we sat down with Rabbi Ploney. And... And good. We walked into the room. He goes, you don't even have to tell me who you are. You're the spitting image of your son. We sit down with him, and he says, listen, your son is in big trouble. He's in big trouble, and you have to get him real help. My parents are like, what are you talking about? He's drinking. He's doing drugs. He's not from. He's partying like crazy with the girls. And my parents are like, what are you talking about? This isn't my son. And he starts giving them a musser schmuss. He's like, you can't be the parents that stick your head in the sand. You have to get him help now. If you have interventions now, you could really help him. My parents are used to getting bad reports about me, but this is like way worse than they've ever gotten.

26:51 And drugs, for sure, that was something that happened to me. I never touched it in my life. And they were like, serious drugs? It's not true. And like, mom is fighting. And finally he says to them, he goes, trust me, I've been with Akiva for a couple of months already, and I know him. And my parents are like, our son's name is not Akiva. And the Rebbe's like, oh my God, I am so sorry. Anyway, the Rebbe was so embarrassed, that he gave my parents this amazing report about me, which also wasn't true, because it was just like, he was just so embarrassed. And by the way, the things he was saying about Akiva were 100% true. Akiva was expelled later that year. Don't laugh. Today, Akiva's a Dayan in Yerushalayim. He's a Yerushalayim. But back in the day, Akiva was a psychopath. It's funny, because sometimes I can't tell too many details about this story, but Akiva's best friend, who was also a psychopath. He's a Rebbe now in the Yeshiva, and this kid once on NCS Waikolo wanted to go to the top shiur, and he was like, but I don't know if I could go to this top shiur because, Rebbe, you know I'm involved with girls.

27:53 and these things, and I don't know if this Rebbe's going to understand me. He's just such a huge tzaddik and such a huge tamachafim. So I was like, yeah, I think he'll understand you. I think it'll be okay. These guys were crazy. These members are the craziest, craziest guys. So even though in that, what was that? There was a guy in Tzaddik who wanted to go to the Rebbe. There was a guy in NCS Waikolo who was like, again, a good kid, but he was like messing around in certain areas, and he didn't think that he could go to this top shiur because the Rebbe was like, he clearly had never done anything wrong in his life. And this Rebbe was Akiva's best friend, and the two of them together were both thrown out of school at the same time. In fact, the best friend was arrested on the plane coming to Israel for being overly inebriated on the plane and behaving inappropriately. But now he's a big tzaddik, and good for him. It doesn't have to be that everyone knows the stories of what he did when he was 18 years old, you know, in the El of his Shana'alef. He was expelled from his yeshiva in the airport. And today, like, I hear, like, people tell me, like, yeah, I asked, and they don't say Akiva,

28:55 I'm not going to say Akiva's last name, but they're like, yeah, I asked Akiva this Shaila, and he told me that Allah is like this, and I'm like, oh, yeah? You know, like, that's great. Like, say that, everyone grows up. So again, aside from this one Rebbe who took one look at my parents and thought that, and it's true, Akiva and I do look a little alike, right? But aside from that one Rebbe, most guys, when they come in, you sit down with your parents, you go, ah, okay, there you are. Like when Tati comes to yeshiva, right? Gives you new insights into a person, right? Camp is a good example. Why? Because they're mushush by you. They were mushush in your father, they were mushush in your grandfather. What was that. That's Sevi Cohen's dad. Yeah, for sure. Yeah, that's exactly what Samuel's going to look like in 20 years. It's not even a question. It's not even a question to me. But it's not a bad thing, right? And it makes sense. It makes sense. This is who we are. Okay, right there. You think you have it with one guy. I have it every year with about every parent that comes. By the way, if it's the opposite, if it's like that kid is so much the opposite, you also know it's a reaction to the parents, right? It's never exactly glad. Okay.

30:07 Somebody who knows their best midah and somebody who knows their worst midah has a gift. What's the gift? I know what Hashem wants from me now. What does Hashem want from you? Pile down this one. Ratchet up this one. That's the work. Easy, except for all the work, right? But now you know. But if you're not self-aware, some people say, I'm working on myself. What in the world does that mean? Do you know growth-oriented people never say, I'm working on myself? That's like a seminary thing to say. I really feel like I'm working on myself this year. What are you working on? Just like my midos. Which mida? And why that mida as opposed to any other mida? And do you know which one is your best and do you know which one is your worst? Do you know that those are the yin-yang? You work on one, you work on the other? Growth is not a cute word. Growth is real. And if you're not engaged in a serious way in real growth, in real self-awareness, so then what are you doing? Some people say, I'm working on this mida. No, you mean you're suppressing this mida and that's if you even knew about it to begin with. And most people are working on midos that they shouldn't be working on. If they had actually become self-aware, they would know the mida that they need to be working on.

31:11 So it's an avodah of becoming self-aware. Most of us don't want to pay attention to ourselves because we're going to have to confront some really bad stuff. And some really good stuff, which is also going to be dorish from you. Because if you know your strengths, that also obligates you. So how do you do that? Every single bardas, any intelligent person, needs to know exactly what his midas are. They need to be mesudar. He needs to have clarity, exactly what his midas are. And he needs a spiritual picture of himself. All the spirit things. All the spiritual pictures of himself. And that is going to be the surah that he has that picture of his spiritual self. That is Yom Adin. When you come after 120 to the Rebbeinu Shalom and you have a picture of yourself, the Rebbeinu Shalom is going to say, okay, you had this negative midah and this positive midah.

32:13 Where did the rectification occur? That's what you're going to be held accountable for. Did you do the work on yourself to become an Adam Shalem, like the Rambam would call it? So, Okay, now let's get to this circle. You want to have on top your most powerful midah and on bottom, in a circle, right? You want to have top, this is the homework, okay? Really, really hard. On top is your best midah. What if I have five best midos? Sorry, right? You've got one, right? Then you have secondary midos and tertiary midos, right? You move them. But this is my best one. My best one is I'm passionate, let's say, right? My second to best one is I'm a giver. My third to best one is I'm authentic, right? My fourth to best one is I'm self-aware, right? Whatever the things are, right?

33:18 But then you start to focus on your negative midos. Not your worst negative midos, but your negative midos. I talk too much. I can say Lashon Hara, right? I can lie to people in order to make myself seem better than I am, right? I can be lazy or depressed, right? And you build a circle for yourself. That circle that you built, put 10, 15 things in the circle, that's you. That's your spiritual picture, okay? So in that spiritual picture, again, we'll look at his in a moment. In that spiritual picture, that's the picture of yourself. That's like what it would look like if you put yourself down on paper. By the way, don't be afraid to ask others for how they experience you, right? But, you know, only if you're truly courageous, right? But if you want to know, like, what are the midos that I need to work on and you're having trouble finding them within yourself, you'll find them. Other people will tell you, especially close friends. So look what he has. Emunah, that's his top one.

34:20 Person of faith. Mamik, a deep person. Modah al-Emes, a truthful person. Seder, an ordered person. Histopagus, satisfied person. Oev Sikha, likes to talk. Kalos Rosh, lightheaded. Avis Achila, likes to eat. Taifun. Shiflos, right? Thinks very low of himself. Atslos, laziness. And it starts going back up. Arzarius, cruel, kas, anger. Kepeda, can be makbed, deterred. Then it says, netia libididos, right? So he likes to be alone. Savlanut, patience. Owev chesed, right? The point is, each one, right? Each one of those things, like from a lesson of Torah, right? Each one of those things, is a particular midah, a particular thing that on the ma'agal, right? You see how it goes. It's like the top and then the bottom. And especially, if you start to become aware, you'll see that yin-yang. Hamidos har shumos b'sha'on hamidos. Hein kimuvan rak'ele sha'anu ma'agishem behen biyoser. Which midos should you put in on this? Only the ones you feel. Take a period of time. Take a week. Take two weeks. Make a journal. Write down, what were the midos that came up for me? You'll know very fast, right? Like, I tend towards disinterest. I tend towards laziness. I tend towards being hypercritical of myself. You'll start to become aware, and it'll become clear to you which one weighs the heaviest and the negative. It should also be clear, right, which ones are the positive midos. I'm a giving person.

35:52 I'm a living person. I'm a listening person. Whatever it is. Every person, they have a tremendous kalach in this area. The capacity to really be enhanced in these areas and to diminish the others. And it could make a tremendous difference in your life. Okay, Rabbi Osai, any questions before we finish? Okay, we'll stop here for today. Oh, yeah.