Emor - Structured for Success (Dealing With Real Life After Sem)

1:58 His children, who's kol bnei Yisrael? Where did kol bnei Yisrael come from? Why is Moshe Rabenu speaking to all of klal Yisrael about halachas that pertain to the Kohanim? Earlier, it was Emor v'Amarta. Who's speaking to who? You remember who's speaking to the gedolim? The adults are speaking to the children. Is bnei Yisrael involved in this? Bnei Yisrael is not involved. Who's involved? The adults are speaking to the children. Say it. Later, we also have halacha that's just regarding the Kohanim, but now all of a sudden, Kol Bnei Yisrael gets involved. Who's Kol Bnei Yisrael? Why do they need to know the halachas of the Kohanim? Listen what Rashi says. Rashi says.

2:56 They'll call Bnei Yisrael lahazher bezdin ala kohanim. Rashi comes up with a pshat. Rashi didn't make it up. Rashi says it based on the Tars Kohenim that really bezdin has to be involved in making sure that the Kohanim do what they're supposed to do. Anyone figure out the question yet? Earlier, when there was a halacha regarding the Kohanim that they shouldn't become tamei meis, who's in charge? Moshe says to Aaron, tell the adult Kohanim to tell the children. Later, when it comes to making sure that the Kohanim do their job properly and that they don't mess up, who's in charge? Mezden is in charge.

3:50 So why didn't Rashi say earlier that Moshe is instructing Bezdin to make sure that the children don't become tummy miz? In other words, originally Rashi says, 'What's the pshat? The Kohanim should speak to their children. Why doesn't it say Bezdin?' Should make sure the Kohanim don't become tamei mase. After all, isn't that the pesha that Rashi says later? You understand? You understand the problem? I want to make sure everyone gets the problem. Originally, Rashi says when it comes to the halachos of a Kohen becoming tamei, who's in charge of making sure that doesn't happen? The adults. The adult Kohanim are in charge. Later, who's in charge? Bezdin is in charge. Why didn't Rashi stay consistent? Why didn't Rashi say earlier that Bezdin is in charge?

4:45 Why did Rashi have to say that the Kohanim were in charge of their own children? Always good to see you. And especially when you come in with such vibrance and exuberance and enthusiasm, passion and excitement. Keep going. You're going. I am a verbose. And I studied my synonyms in fourth grade and after, so I'm able to do that. Who knew that one day it would aid me in actually teaching Torah? So. So we have an inconsistency in Rashi. So you say, big deal, Berg. You found one. You found one inconsistency, right? It's not true, because if you look carefully, take a look in the halachos of twenty-one six and twenty-one eight, chapter twenty-one, verse six. It says, so what are we talking about here?

5:41 The Kohanim should be holy to God. They shouldn't desecrate the name of God when it comes to the Iseh Hashem, to the fire offerings of Hashem. The food of their God, they should offer. They have to remain holy. What does Rashi say? Who's in charge of this? Kadosh miu al karcham yakdishum bezdan bekach. Bezdan has to make sure that this is done. What do we see again? Who's in charge of the Kohanim? Not the adults. Bezdan is in charge. Take a look. Chapter twenty one, verse eight. Same, we have another more halachas of the kedusha of the Kohanim. Why does Rashi say? So the halach is again, who's in charge? Bezdin is in charge. Bezdin has to make sure it happens.

6:40 So we have a total inconsistency here. We start off; the halacha is who's in charge of being ma'az of the Kohanim on their kedusha. Who's in charge of taking care of the little Kohanim, the parents? But for everywhere else, it's Bezdin. So why didn't Rashi say in the very beginning that Bezdin is in charge? Girls, it's a very obvious answer to this question. What's the answer? Listen to the words of the first pasuk. Emor. El ha Kohanim b'nei Aaron va'amart Aleihem. Why did Rashi say it's not Bezdan? Because what does the pasuk say? The pasuk says Kohanim. So it's a klutz kasha. The whole reason that it doesn't say that Rashi doesn't say Bezdan is because the Torah says explicitly, Hashem says to Moshe, tell who? The Kohanim. Does it say tell Bezdan? No. So why does Rashi switch the pshat for the first one?

7:38 Because that's what the pasuk says. So it's a klutz kasha, right? You'll say, Rabbi, well, you slept all this way. You came on a day where we didn't have seminary. And the day where you're going from here to the airport, you're not going to see your children. You came to stay upshot that obviously doesn't make any sense. It goes against the words of the Torah. This is why I'm taking my off time to come here each year. Don't worry. It can only go up from here. But now we see something. This means that what did Hakadosh Baruch Hu tell Moshe? Hakadosh Baruch Hu told Moshe, "Tell the Kohanim to instruct their children." The rest of the stuff that Moshe Abeno does, putting Bezdan in charge of the Kohanim, did Hashem tell Moshe to do that, or did Moshe make that up on his own? What did Hashem tell Moshe?

8:36 Tell the Kohanim to tell their children. The rest of the halachos did Hashem tell Moshe to do that, or did Moshe Rabenu do that? Moshe Rabenu. Why? Where did that come from? Moshe Rabenu says we're going to make a Besdin in charge of the Kohanim. Why did he do such a thing? So listen to this pshat from the Rabbbe. Unbelievable pshat. Very relevant to every one of us, and especially relevant in these times. You should know, I think I'm here by accident, and you must be here by accident. So it must be that what? None of us are here by accident. If I'm here on a day where I'm not supposed to be here, and you're here on a day where you don't need to be here, and we're all here together, it must be that the people in this room need to hear what's about to be said, myself included. Listen to this pachad.

9:33 The Gemara tells us that Kohanim are very careful. Kohanim are careful. Kohanim don't mess around when it comes to the Avodah in the Beis Hamikdash. A Cohen naturally, when it comes to Halachos of the Beis Hamikdash, is super duper careful. Why? Two reasons. Number one. You know how a Cohen is raised. You're a Cohen. You're a Cohen. I don't know if you come from a family of Kohanim or if you've met Kohanim. If you know Kohanim, you know they're very careful. Like for example, there are certain Kohanim that, when you speak to them and you're like, they're like driving. Like you can't take that road if I'm in the car because there's trees where there's some overhang and it's next to a cemetery. I'm a Cohen. I can't be on that road. Kohanim are very careful. I know a Cohen.

10:29 With you, obviously I don't mean this. He's an unbelievable person. I don't want to drive with him in the car because he's always like, no, you can't, you can't. When we're in America, he's like, you can't take the Jackie Robinson. Like, but what if I'm in the left side of the lane? He's like, I don't play games. So he's had to go a different way. He's very careful. Why? Because he's raised to be a kohen. If you're a yeshua, you're a peasant. I'm a levie, so I'm like in between. A kohen. They're raised to be Kohanim from the time they're little. Do you know what their father tells them? You're a Cohen. You go to visit your grandparents' tombstones. You know what it says? You know you see on the cover? See the hands? You're a Cohen. It's in your DNA. You're a Cohen. So you're raised to be a Cohen. So you're very careful. And there's another thing. Not only are you raised to be a Cohen, but you're in the Mikdash. Could you imagine how careful you must have been if you were in the Beis Hamikdash? If Hakadosh Baruch Hu's Shechina is present.

11:28 In the Beis Hamikdash, and you're walking around doing your avoda, you feel like I'm a stone throw away from the Kodesh Hakodash. Karbanos are being brought. You have the shulchan, the lechem apone, the paroiches. This is a seriously holy place. So they were very careful because the avirah of the Beis Hamikdash, the atmosphere was a kadosh atmosphere. The problem is this: a kohen sometimes has to leave the Beis Hamikdash. And what happens when a kohen leaves the Beis Hamikdash? Who's going to ensure that the chinuch of the kohen stays strong, even after you leave the Beis Hamikdash? Or to put it a little bit differently. You have a girl who's raised in a wonderful family, and she's raised with strong values. She's told from the time she's very little in a beautiful way: 'You're a basmelek, you're a Jew. This is what it means to be a Jew. This is what we eat. This is what we wear. This is how we speak. This is what we learn. This is the life's pursuit.' So you were raised well, and then you come to Yeshayim Yerakodesh, and you're in an avira of growth.

12:55 You're in an avirav growth. What does that mean? You're in sem. You have teachers that are teaching deep ideas, ideas that are moshech you. They pull you. They inspire you. They're setting a high bar here. Know these teachers? They say this is what we expect from you, girls, the next generation. We want you to make klal yisrael even better. Let's not be satisfied with what we have. Our homes have to be places of kedusha. Getting big lessons here in seminary. These ideas—they're constantly in your head. It's not like in high school where then you leave and you go to a math class and a science class and a history class and a literature class. It's all day long. You're being pounded with these ideas, and it's not in America that you're getting these ideas. You're getting these ideas in Yerushalayim, and when you walk in the streets, who do you see? And what's the avirav Yerushalayim? It's serious business over here. When you go back home, if you went home for Pesach.

13:50 It doesn't feel the same. I'm getting on a flight tonight to go to America. It doesn't, it doesn't feel the same, and it isn't the same. It doesn't mean that we can't serve our Kadosh Baruch Hu in America. Of course we can, or in Canada, maybe not so much Canada, but let's say in America, yeah. Canada too, but it's harder. It's too cold. There's a very warm Hasidic community in Montreal, but. It doesn't feel the same when you're walking down Central Avenue. It doesn't feel the same when you're walking around in Montsie. It doesn't feel the same when you're walking around in Lakewood. Here, when you're walking around, you go to the Kotel, you go to Kever Rachel. Everything here seems to have something a little bit more. But there's a question. Seminary is a bubble. It's not a bad bubble. It's a really good bubble. It's a gift that your parents gave you. Some people say these same words and they say them with disdain. They say them with hatred.

14:45 I don't like that. Somebody is a bubble. Relax. Everything is a bubble, but it is. There's a bubble to it. You're here. You have no worries. You don't have to wake up with crying babies. You don't have to manage stressed out husbands. You don't have to deal with shaduchim of your children or high school teenage girls. You were those girls. You don't have to deal with them yet. Blessed Hashem, in the right time. Thank you. But you have to deal with it. You're here. Food, nice cut their chairs, and sparring. You have everything you need. What happens when you leave? So you'll hear from the alumni, and they'll tell you it's really hard. And I feel parched, because when I was inspired, why was I inspired?

15:42 I was inspired because I was raised in an inspired way. That's for sure true. But I was inspired because I was constantly getting that feedback of how I could challenge myself here. What will it look like this? What will it look like that? But now that I'm back, and I'm in college, and I'm becoming a speech therapist or an occupational therapist or a physical therapist or a therapist or a horse therapist or an aqua therapist, which just means lifeguard, right? And yeah. Or whatever other jobs we allow women to have, right? That are within the world of therapy, because obviously every basic Yakov girl, for some reason, ends up with the word therapist in their name. It's okay. We could do the same thing for boys, but yeah. So girl says, it's so hard to feel deeply connected when I'm home and I'm not in that space. How do I feel connected?

16:40 How many years in a row am I going to hear this question coming from the girls? I'm Tyson. I'm going to speak very honestly with you. The girls are right. Because the boys, when they leave yeshiva in Eretz Yisrael, where do they go back to? Yeshiva. It's true. A boy doesn't want to, does it? But we have systems in place. You go to Eretz Yisrael, learn in yeshiva. You go back to America. You're in yeshiva. What do you have? You have rabbayim, you have chaverim, you have chavrusas, you have shayurem, you have mashkichim, you have Thursday night mishmar, you have Friday night tish. You have in shabbos, rosh hashanah, yom kippur, some chas tayres, and yeshiva shvus geshmak. And what do we tell a girl? Congratulations, you're done with seminary, and now go back to what? Now go back to what?

17:39 Go get married. Go get a job. Go start college. And by the way, I'm not here to tell you what's right and what's wrong. But there's a reality that's happening on the ground. What's the reality? Girls are asking, and they're a hundred percent right to ask this question. Where's my structure? Where's the thing that's going to hold me in place? Because I too want to be held in place, and it's very hard. It's very difficult to maintain your inspiration. You don't have structure. That's what Meir Shabena was doing. Meir Shabena was saying when they leave the Beis Hamikdash, Bezdin takes over and they're in charge. Bezdin is there to support them. Bezdin is there to make sure that they do the right thing, because you need a structure in place. A guy comes to yeshiva and he goes, "Okay, great. I had a great time in yeshiva, Rebbe. I'm going to go to college, but you'll see. I'm going to have a chavruta." That's not a structure. If it's just you and a chavruta, and the chavruta doesn't show up, and if you want to be matsliach.

18:39 You put yourself in a situation where you're going to be matsliach. You want to get big, join a gym. You have to put yourself in a surrounding environment. You have to have the right people there guiding you, being madrichi, telling you here's the next steps, challenging you to take those next steps. How many girls are coming back and they're saying to us, rightfully, where's my structure? Where's my bezdin that's taking care of me after I leave the base of mikdash? Am I not a kohen that I don't deserve to be taken care of? My mleches kohen v'gai kadosh. We're a nation of priests. You, you girls, you're Kohanim, you're Kohanim. So as long as you're here in seminary, you're well taken care of. You're in the Makam HaMikdash. You come from beautiful homes, Baruch Hashem, wonderful chenoch. You are raised to be Kohanim. But now what? Not good. It's not good. It's a problem. What's the solution to this problem?

19:33 I'm not here to say solutions for all of Klaios. I'm here to say solutions for us in this room. If you're someone, and again, I'm saying lechatchila. I want to be very clear. We are not doing enough for the girls. We're not doing enough for the girls. Thank you. I'm saying clearly. I don't want anyone to walk out of here saying that Berg said we're doing it. We're not. We're not doing it enough. I know we're not doing it enough. We need to be doing more. I live here. It's hard for me to make anything there, but I want you to know. That it has to change, mamish has to change. So you say, but Rebbe, the system is not yet there. I hear you. So what are we going to do, Lamaisa? What are we doing, Lamaisa? Not everyone here is coming back for a second year. You always have at the end of the year the shmuhs, like how do we take it with us? You girls have a good taina. How do I take it with her? How do I take it? I want to take it with me. What you girls are asking the Jewish community is, do you want me to take it with you? Do you want me to take this?

20:32 Why are we pouring so much money into support systems for the boys? Where's the support system for the girls? So you say a girl goes back to her home. That's her support system. I got news for you. Baruch Hashem, so many girls have wonderful support systems at home, and many don't. For many it's a struggle. Being at home here, you were studying, you were learning, you're hearing shiurim. Being at home is wonderful. Being with your mother and your father and your siblings is beautiful, but it's not necessarily the same type of inspiration. So I'm not here to answer that question because I'm telling you right now, you have a better question than I have an answer. I don't have answers. There needs to be much more. I'm saying straight. But Lamaisa, you girls have a problem, so Lamaisa, you need to answer. At least for now, you need to answer your own problems. Maybe somebody in this room will be the person to answer this problem. Maybe in five, ten years from now, one of you girls will go out and say, 'I'm going to build something for seminary girls when they come back.'

21:27 So you'll say, Rebbe, it's been tried before. Do you know how many people tried to start something? But Lamaisa, it's because the community itself, even though people have tried to start, you're not going to seminary. It's your time to go to. You have to get a job now. You have to go to work. You have to go to college. I understand all those things. But Lamaisa, there are girls that are looking for inspiration. We need to support parents, the community. We need to start saying, just like the boys when they come back have something, the girls when they come back they have to have something real and it has to be there and it has to be funded. I'm saying straight. We're not doing a good enough job.

21:59 The Rambam in Hilchos Deos, Parak Vov Halacha Aleph, says we're impacted by our surroundings. A human being is a social creature. We're impacted by our surroundings. The Rambam goes on to say very clearly: if you find yourself in a bad environment, you have to get out of that environment. Why? Because you're impacted by your surroundings. You girls, you have obligations to yourself now. What are those obligations? You have to make sure that the structure is in place for you. I, but you'll say, but Moshe Abinu made sure that Besdin was the structure for the Kohen. I know. I'm saying we're not doing a good enough job. I'm being very clear. We're not doing a good enough job. But Lameisa, you girls have a problem. We're doing our best. Every shirum is getting recorded and we're putting it online for free because we're doing our best to give you girls as much Torah as possible.

22:56 But you have to commit yourself to certain things because the structure isn't built in. So you have to know that if you're a person who found inspiration in hearing shiurim, you have to take time to prioritize continuing to listen and go to shiurim that are available. You have to do it. Why? Because if you do that, you'll stay conscious. Remember that life has a gravitational pull. You start here, just naturally in life. You go down. Doesn't mean down that worse. It means naturally we start things we were careful about were a little bit less careful about, right? Rashi va'avamavasar. It always tells the boys. I'm not saying get married young. Get married when you're ready. So he tells the boys. But there's a difference between a guy who's married. He's locked in at a certain level. He married a girl at a certain level. This their ambition. Sometimes if a guy gets older, maybe he's not so zayrin his tefil anymore. Maybe it's not so. He doesn't have the opportunity to learn as much anymore. This a gravitational pull.

23:52 So you have to be willing to say, 'This is my ambition, and I'm taking advantage of whatever structures exist.' Because a person on their own, after they leave the base of Mikdash, naturally goes lower. That's naturally what happens. They naturally go lower. What's available to you? So let's go through. Number one, a good environment is available to you. Good friends, growth-oriented friends. I'm not saying break off from your old friends. That's a personal decision that everybody has to make of how they deal with old friends who maybe don't have the same shared values. I'm not getting into that now, but a person who has growth-oriented friends, they get together and they're people who, of course, joke around and of course laugh and of course have a good time, but people who discuss deep things, people who say, 'Okay, what's next for me? What's next? Where are we working on?' I don't want to say too much about John. He's a sneers person. He's a tremendous person, you should know.

24:52 He's part of a WhatsApp group. It's a chevra of guys that have dedicated themselves to avodas atvila. Here's a man who's in his mid 40s, and what's he talk? And he's a man who learns a tremendous amount. By the way, he doesn't start working until 3:30, 4:00, 4:30 in the afternoon. Up until then, he's learning, and then he works American hours in Israel. This is my mechutin. You should know, he's working on avodas atvila, and I'm jealous of him. Because I see he has a chaver of guys, they're working together. They're no longer satisfied with a stagnant davening. They want to have a passionate davening. They want that their children should see people that they have a passionate davening. That's a growth-oriented chaver. People that are still working. There are chaburos of people that are working on their middos. And if you don't know of such a chaburo, girls, what's your responsibility? Start it.

25:47 You believe. Instead of looking around and saying, "How come it's not happening?" You're right. So be the solution. Start the chevra. Make it. Make it happen. That's one important point. Another important point. Don't do things that are going to bring you down. What I mean to say is as follows. I'm speaking Balasha Naki, but you girls can all fill this in on your own. You're smart enough to fill this in. Not only should you have the asetov of having a strong growth-oriented chevra. But there are certain places that we go, certain things that we do. Again, I'm speaking in a hidden way, but you girls, you're smart enough to fill in on your own. There are certain things that we do that are antithetical to the growth that we did. A girl calls me up. I'd like to make a session. I'd like to speak. I don't know. I just haven't felt so connected to my yiddishkeit in such a long time. But also, I started doing this again. I'm like, well, why? Why might you not be feeling connected?

26:45 Because I'm engaged in doing something that I shouldn't be doing, there has to be a structure in your life where you say, "I don't do those things anymore. I'm beyond those things." And sometimes those things are hard because those things are things that we might naturally be used to doing when we're in America. It's like whenever I walk into my parents' house, the first thing I do is I check the pantry to see what food my mother has. Why? Because I've been doing that since I'm a fetus. Ever since I was born, ever since I could walk, I'm checking the pantry for food in my mother's house. I have deep psychological issues around my mother's love and food. Notice I didn't call my father's house. My mother's house. So you go back. You're accustomed to certain ways. You have to create new structures for yourself, not just in terms of your friends, but also creating new structures in terms of not this person anymore. And I have lines, and I want to be careful with those lines.

27:40 But there's no structure for me to do it. You have to create the structure. So maybe it's with a friend, creating accountability for yourselves. If we do this, we're going to tell each other that we're holding ourselves accountable. You have to create the structure, the external structure that holds yourself accountable. Another thing, I mentioned this briefly, but I want to explain this a little bit clearer. Of course, so many of you have been brought up with this beautiful hashkafa. You want your home to be a tayr dekham. You want your husband to be learning. Of course, you want your husband to be learning. You want your husband to do the daf. You want your husband to have a chavruta, right? Of course, and of course that means sacrifice, because if your husband wakes up at six o'clock in the morning to go to a six thirty shacharis, to do the daf at seven fifteen, to be done with the daf by eight ten, to come home to quickly eat something to get on the train.

28:38 And then to go to the city, and then to be working, and then if he has a break for mincha, he has to use that for his break, and then he comes home and he wants to daven mayer, and of course has to spend some time doing homework with the kids and talking to you, and the meisi has to get to sleep by ten thirty, eleven o'clock, because he has to wake up at six o'clock the next morning. So of course that comes with sacrifice on your part, because you're supporting this tire, and that's a very beautiful thing. What I'm about to say might seem a little controversial, but what's with your tire?

29:08 What's with your learning? As much as the wives have to sacrifice for the husbands to ensure their learning, today I believe Bamunah Shleima. It's incumbent on the husbands to also make time for the wives. That sometimes the husband has to say this Chavrusa. Tonight the Chavrusa has to be in the house because my wife is going out to a shir. And on Shabbos afternoon, let the husbands take care of the kids a little bit so they can go out to those shirim on Shabbos afternoon. Because you girls were brought up, rightfully or wrongfully, you are brought up in an environment where Torah is inspiring to you. You weren't born in pre World War One America, where a girl was only learning Sanurana. You girls are very smart girls. You grew up learning Rambans a lot Torah. You grew up hearing real shmos and you learned Mechtameliyo. You heard real things. What do you think is going to happen if you stop learning real things? There's a gravitational pull. So of course there's going to be sacrifice for your husband's learning. Of course.

30:05 But today, husbands need to sacrifice for their wives' learning also, and I tell this to the boys also. And yes, it's important. You're not always going to be able to do it. But I'll tell you this: my wife, the girls know, she's a learned woman. She's a learned woman. She's not like you think she comes here and she just gives sheer like it just flows off of her. I see how much she prepares. She's like a rush shiva. She's got like piles of farming. She's sitting there with her notes. She thinks very carefully. She's a chavrusa with a woman from South Africa. She does partners in Torah. She's part of a perkeivos chabura that they're learning perkeivos every week now, and everyone has to prepare and say something real and say something meaningful. Shabbos afternoon, she has an avos yisrael group where they have discussions and learning around the topic of avos yisrael. She's a person who's prioritized learning in her life. The structure exists, so you have to be able to take advantage. I but you'll say, how can I take advantage?

31:00 I have a six month old baby and my husband is sleeping Shabbos afternoon. Maybe take forty five minutes less of a Shabbos nap. I know you're tired. I know it was a long week, but if you want your wife to sacrifice for your tired, then you have to be willing to sacrifice for hers. What we play in the car matters. You're by yourself in the car. You're commuting today. Baruch Hashem, turn on Spotify. Tons of shirum. Shirum Torah anytime, thousands of shirum are not the problem. It's prioritizing your own learning. And I know people don't like it when I say this because they say, "Rebberg, it's unrealistic." You know what? I don't think it's unrealistic. We don't tell the boys it's unrealistic. If a boy came and he said to me, "Rebby, it's unrealistic. You want to learn Da'as Yomim every single day? You want to do 45 minutes of learning every single day?" You know what I would say? You got to be ambitious about your learning. How come we don't say that for the women? How come we don't sacrifice for the women?

31:55 They have to know their role. What do you want? You plug these girls in for all these years, and then you yank out the plug, and you go, "Keep your inspiration high." And girls, don't forget to raise a very firm family that's really inspired. Your children are going to see how you're lighting the Shabbos neros. They're going to see if you're closing your eyes and you're really davening for them. You're right. Judaism is a religion where educating the children is primary, and we know that role modeling is the most important thing. What do you want? You're going to unplug this girl. You're going to take her away from every structure that she had, rely only on the chinuch that she got in those formative years growing up, and then say, "Make sure to be inspired so you could pass it on to the next generation." This is a reasonable request. If we never raised the girls like this to begin with, it'd be different. But you girls were raised in beis yeshivos that, frankly, sometimes were harder than the boys yeshivas.

32:46 You didn't go to camp. You had real tests. You had really had to really know. I say this not to rile you up. I say this because I know that you already know the problem, and I know that I know the problem, and so I want you to know that I know that you know. You know the problem, but sometimes you don't know that we know the problem, because sometimes you hear from your teachers, they talk about sacrifice.

33:16 And there's a lot of sacrifice in life for men and for women. There's a lot of sacrifice because we're all sacrificing for our kids, and it's a beautiful sacrifice. It's an amazing sacrifice. It's not a sacrifice that Chas v'Shem diminishes, but it could be a sacrifice that's hard. It could be. It's not so easy. It has to be a two-way street. It might not always be the same speed, but it has to be a two-way street. The main message that I want you to take away from this, and we'll end with this. I'm not here to make problems. I'm not here to say negative things about Klal Yisrael. Chas v'shem, Klal Yisrael is amazing, and Baruch Hashem, we've come such a long way. The fact that you're here, the fact that you're in seminary in Yerushalayim, this was unheard of. In previous generations, that a girl should take a year off of her life and go to Yerushalayim and just sit and learn, this is already progress. But we still have a ways to go. Doesn't mean we've done poorly. It means we need to continue doing better.

34:14 But it's only going to happen if you girls recognize two things. Number one, we're Kohanim, and number two, success means structure. Be structured for success. You're not structured for success. Don't turn around and say, 'I don't know why it didn't work out.' It didn't work out because we didn't structure ourselves for success. 99% of the work is structuring ourselves for success. A chaver of mine once told me, 'I'm really good at going to the gym.' Once I'm dressed for the gym, the hardest part, he said, is taking off your regular clothes and putting on your gym clothes. Because once your gym clothes are on, once your sneakers are on, you could go for the run. But it's like I'm just sitting. I don't want to do it. But once you're dressed, you could do it. So I had a rebbe who once said, make the decision of whether or not you're going to shachrus if you're not feeling well after you're dressed. Because once you're dressed, I'm already dressed. You find that extra dimension. Why? Because you're structured.

35:12 You're designed for it. You're projecting a certain movement in your life, and we tell the boys all the time: if you want a girl like this, you have to become a boy like this. If you want a girl who's going to want a husband who's going to be married, who's going to be like a good husband, a big balmidos, but a guy who davens and learns and has good hashkafas and shares the very Torah at the Shabbos table, then become someone who davens and learns and has good hashkafas and is a balmidos and who shares the very Torah at the Shabbos table. I think it's high time we started giving that shmoos to the girls. The boys, they need to deserve you. They need to deserve you. They need to be baleim midos and all of those things. But girls, if you're going to set the bar high, make sure you have the structures in place to set the bar high. If you want a husband who davens and learns and is passionate about his yiddishkeit, and who's going to be worthy of a girl like you, who does.

36:08 Real things in her yiddishkeit. Make sure you do it. Don't let this be an academic experience. Don't say I came to Yeshayim for a year of seminary. I heard amazing shirim, but then I went back and you know how it doesn't last. People don't use words at that point. You become very yeshivish. All the words. I'm sitting in a room of leaders. I know I'm sitting in a room of leaders because if you look at your lives, 20 years from now, if you go 20 years from now, you're going to be 38 years old. 40. 40. Yeah. 20 years from now, which is not that much. 20 years from now, do you know how much you're going to have done in your lives? Do you know what type of leadership role you'll have taken in life? 20 years from now, you'll probably be people who were on a nishay, who were part of meal trains, who supported other people, people in the community got sick and you took in their children.

37:06 People needed to go away for Shabbos, and you said, 'Don't worry, I'll take your kids so you can go away.' You'll have done unbelievable things contributing to community, let alone what you'll do in your own family, let alone all the personal growth work you're going to do on yourself in order to make it work. I'm sitting in a room full of leaders. We know the problem, girls. Let's be part of the solution. The solution doesn't start because everybody goes out and says, 'I'm making this maysa now.' The solution starts when a group of girls refuse to be told. But you're done. Come on, move on. I don't do that. I'm keeping that spark alive. I'm building structures for myself to make sure that I can do everything that I need to do to build a home of passionate Yiddishkeit. Clear? Crystal? Chabad girls.