Bechukosai - Exile and the Fragmented Self

2:29 So Yaakov goes to Eliyahu and he says, "Let's make a deal. I want you to promise me that at the end of this very long exile, you're going to announce the coming of Mashiach." Let's make this deal. I'll take these five vavs from you, you get them back at the very end. That's a very strange Rashi. Five vavs. What are we doing over here? What's five vavs got to do with a guarantee for the coming of Mashiach? Very strange. Listen to this gorgeous Maharal. It's not going to necessarily give us the answer. It's actually going to create more questions. But a gorgeous Maharal. The Maharal in Gur Arye says as follows. What is the mission of Eliyahu Anavi? The mission of Eliyahu is to herald the coming of Mashiach. So his name is incomplete until he fulfills his mission. So he's missing five vavs. Says the Maral. What are these five vavs? Very cool, Maral. He says it's the five fingers on your hand.

3:33 These five vavs were given over, so to speak, to Yaakov Avinu. What does that look like? The Maral says it looks like a handshake. Looks like a handshake. Cool imagery, right? That you have, Yaakov Avinu coming and saying, "You promise that at the very end of this long exile, you're gonna herald the coming of Mashiach. You're gonna announce that Mashiach is coming." Eliyahu says, "I promise." What does Yaakov do? He goes, "Shake on it." I want those five vavs. Let's have that hand. Let's shake on our deal. So now we have a fascinating thing. At the end of the tochacha, at the end of all the rebuke, the curses that Klal Yisrael is being told that they're going to get if they don't follow the Torah, Hakadosh Baruch Hu comes along and he says, "And I'm going to remember my covenant with Yaakov." Yaakov is spelled with a vav. Where does the vav come from? Rashi says it's the vav from Eliezer Navi's name. Five times Yaakov is spelled with an extra vav. Five times Eliezer Navi. Eliezer is spelled without a vav.

4:28 Why? Because they had a handshake deal, a guarantee that at the end of a very long exile. Eliyahu Hanavi will herald the coming of Mashiach. Obviously, we have some serious questions here because first of all What? Why? Why? Why now? Of all the places to learn this truth that Yaakov Avinu has a deal with Eliyahu Hanavi, now at the end of Bchukosai, at the end of the rebuke, at the end of the curses, it's like now we know that Yaakov Avinu and Eliyahu made a deal. That's one thing to know why geographically why is that what is that doing here and even more than that if we really start to think about it why does Yaakov Avinu need to make a deal why Yaakov and why does there need to be a deal at all why does Eliyahu have to guarantee it and the Maral is adding something you girls know the Maral is not cute if the Maral tells us that there was a handshake going on it means there's something about a handshake that needs to be understood very deeply what exactly is going on here that there's like a handshake.

5:31 Between Yaakov and Eliyahu, to know that eventually Mashiach is going to come. I promise it. Let's shake on it. What's a handshake got to do with anything? The whole, this whole like one letter in the Torah, this extra letter vav in Yaakov's name, takes us down this incredible rabbit hole. Why, at the end of the Torah, do we find out that there is a guarantee that Mashiach is going to come? Wasn't there always a guarantee that Mashiach is going to come? Why specifically now? Do we find it out? Why does Yaakov of all people have to make this deal with Eliyahu Anavi? What does it mean that they shook on it? All of these things need to be unpacked in a very serious way. I want to have a real conversation with you tonight. I want to talk about a very important concept that's personally very dear to me. One that I know is relevant to every one of us in our life, which is: What is the nature of exile? What is the nature of galus? We're going to go very deep tonight. What exactly is the nature of galus? So when we think of galus, what do we usually think? We usually tend to think of galus as geographical.

6:34 If let's say your family was from Iran and your family was exiled from Iran. What does it mean to be exiled from Iran? It means I was kicked out of my home. Now I'm living in Iraq because the Iranians chased me out of my home. What does it mean for us to be an exile as Jews? Originally we were from Eretz Yisrael. The Beit Hamikdash was destroyed. We were chased out of Eretz Yisrael. So geographically we're not home anymore. But the truth is that really that's a symptom of galus and not what galus is. Being exiled from your land is an expression, a symptom of galus. But it's not actually what Gollus is. What is Gollus? Gollus is a state of fragmentation. I'll explain what that means in a moment. But I want to spell out exactly what I mean before I tell you what fragmentation means. It goes something like this.

7:34 Very often in life We tend to blame people for the outer state that we live in. The reason why things are going wrong in my life is because, for example, I don't have a job. But what's a more profound way of looking at that? Why don't you have a job? Your inner state of fragmentation led to you not being hireable. It's not the opposite. It's not like I don't have a job and that's why things are not going well. Things aren't going well inside of you. That's why you don't have a job. Does that make sense? If a person is exiled from their land, one way of thinking about this, which I think is a much truer way of thinking about this, is what was going on internally that externally we were removed from our land. Because really, we ought to exist in our natural, organic state.

8:36 And if we don't exist in our natural, organic state, it's because we stopped living in a natural and organic way. And that's why it expels us, right? For example, if a person was in self in their marriage Do you girls know what I mean when I say in self? Let's say a person is deeply connected and rooted in a healthy way from within. What do you think their marriage is going to look like on the outside? It's going to be great. Because I exist in this very organic way with my wife. So why would my wife be upset at me? Because what would I be doing that she would be frustrated with me? If I'm okay and enough for myself. So if we had a problem, we would work through it. But why is it that she's like I can't be around you? It's not because something is. Sometimes it's like that, but rarely is it one sided. Usually, it's because we exist in a way that doesn't allow people to live within our daladamos. When we are expelled from our land as Jews. The way we look at it is, what were we doing? When did we stop living in an organic way that we could no longer live in our organic land?

9:50 This is what we say in Davening: "Umei Shechataenu, Galinu Me'artzeenu." Because we sinned, so we were expelled from our land. What does that mean? It means Eretz Yisrael is meant to hold us. You're meant to live here. Why don't we live here? The Romans happened to come and destroy the Beit Hamikdash and exiled us from our land. If we were living organically inside, they would never have done that to us. They only did it to us because we weren't able to stay within the land. Does that make sense? So here's the key. Exile means that internally I'm not living in an aligned or integrated life. I'm living in a fragmented way. Once I'm living in a fragmented way, I'm already in a state of exile. Now that I'm in a state of exile, externally it's going to catch up to me, and I'm not going to live within my land. So far, so good. Does this make sense? If you say it makes sense, then I think it makes sense. Internally, you're not living in what kind of life? The words we're going to use are aligned and integrated, right? If you're fragmented in here, then life is going to be fragmented out there, right? So if I'm, and we'll speak about what fragmentation means in a minute. But fragmentation. That state, that external state of geographical exile.

11:07 It's really a reflection of an internal geographical exile. Internally, I'm not living a life that's unified, integrated, aligned. So therefore, I'm not going to live naturally. I'm not living in my home. I'm no longer a fish in water. Naturally, a Jew is meant to be here in Eretz Israel. If we can't live here, it's not because of something happening outside. It's not because of the Arabs. It's because of us. When we live a natural, organic life that's connected to Hashem. We will live here. Does that make sense? So far, so good. Let's get into what fragmented looks like. Fragmented means and what it looks like. It goes something like this. And I think all of us have this. I think all this is natural to the human condition. You ever have a time in your life where your mind knows what you're supposed to do, but your heart tells you I don't want to do that.

12:01 I know this is the right thing to do. I just don't want to. You ever do the following? I've done this. I'm not embarrassed to admit that I've done this. I think all of us have done it. And if you don't raise your hand and tell me that you've done it, then you're going to make me feel deeply ashamed of who I am. So it's your fault if I feel a certain way? It's codependency one on one. You ever do this thing where you tell your mind to stop talking? Okay, all right. Every one of you have done it, and like ninety percent of you are honest, right? You know where you're Somebody like a rebbe or a teacher just spoke about this thing, and they said it's the wrong thing, and you're like, I know this is the wrong thing. I committed myself not to responding to his texts.

12:53 That was close to home. Now it's like, even though I know it's the wrong thing to do, you literally tell your mind. You go, shut up. You're like, stop talking. I just wanted and like you do it right away because there's a gap between what your mind knows to be true and what your heart desires. That's a sort of fragmentation that exists within us. Or how about this? My soul wants one thing, but my body wants another. That's a big one. I know what it looks like to lead a soulful life, but I'm sometimes willing to trade a soulful life for something very materialistic. That's a natural fragmentation that I think every one of us lives with. Even sometimes when I'm doing the right thing Sometimes you can't emotionally access that you're doing the right thing. Let's say you make the really hard decision to wake up in the morning and to daven. So you're doing the right thing. You followed your intellect, but now it's like you're davening and you're just saying the words, and you have no emotional access to anything you're doing, and you're just going through the motions. That's a state of inner fragmentation. Is that fragmentation, or is that just a symptom? So that would be a fragmented life when there's a gap between your mind and your heart, between your soul and your body, between your actions and your emotions.

14:19 Those are all fragmentation. Those are all experiences of a deep sense of fragmentation that exists within ourselves. But wouldn't that be the same thing of like where you're living? Because like, but good, good, good. We're getting there. Very good. I love the parallel. One second, Because maybe like too long to answer, but if we were so fragmented that we couldn't live in our land because internally we own the land, then how is it that we're able to live beautiful ma'achia? Like, excellent. Very good. Very good. The process. We're going to come to that. The process of returning. It's not like you're zero or a hundred. The process is moving slowly, so we are more integrated and aligned. We're in the process of returning to our state of unity, which is what we're coming towards. Hold on, it's an excellent point. So what based on this knowledge gives us an insight into something called trauma? I just want to be clear.

15:16 Our generation uses the word trauma very poorly. The following is not true. I just know it's not true. If you ever hear somebody say the word trauma with the following tone This is not trauma. Oh my God, that was traumatizing. If you can articulate, 'Oh my God, that was so traumatizing,' in that tone, you have not been traumatized. You are fine. That's not trauma. Trauma is a very big word. We should use it carefully because it means something. What is the nature of trauma? Trauma is not what happens to us. Two people can experience the same thing, and for one of them it's not traumatic. And for the other, it is because trauma is not what happens to us. Trauma is our ability to integrate what happened. I'll say it again. Trauma is not what happens to me. It's my ability to turn this into a coherent story, to integrate what actually occurred. For example, if somebody goes through something traumatic but they're able to talk about it, what does that do for them?

16:32 Because they're able to talk about it, what do they do? What do we call that? That's called processing it, right? What does processing something actually mean? And we think about what it means to process something. What does that word mean? That would be one example. But let's say something traumatic happened. You control the trauma. And now my response to that is to tell the story of what happened in a way that I can make sense of it. So what am I doing? I'm integrating this crazy event into a coherent narrative so that I can survive. Two people can go through the same thing. There are things that are capital T traumatic. But my ability to show up and process it, to give it language, to integrate it, means it no longer lives in a fragmented reality. What happens if we don't process it? What happens if we have this crazy thing that happens and we don't have the ability to integrate it?

17:36 So what happens is the self splits And that's a very painful type of existence when the self splits. When the self splits, what almost always happens is hopelessness. You enter into the dark, and it's like you have no capacity to hold on to your hope. So this is the equation. I know this very deep. Let's try to say it one more time. We all exist in some way in a state of fragmentation. An inner lack of inner alignment. So far so good. That lack of inner alignment, where does it play itself out geographically? The things that happen outside of ourselves are really reflections of what. Of what's going on inside of ourselves, right? When something traumatic happens, what makes it trauma? My inability to unify it, my inability to process it, right? It remains, right, as this random thing that happened on the outside. It doesn't make sense in my story, right? And that's what people will tell you. It came out of nowhere.

18:36 I was just walking along, and then all of a sudden, this car came. And that's what they tell you. It doesn't make any sense. How could that happen? Because we expect life to go in a linear way. We expect to wake up in the morning for everybody to be healthy and for everything to go well, and then to go to sleep at night. And when something comes out of nowhere, it exists in what type of way? It's fragmented. So what do we need to do with the fragmentation of our life? What do we need to do? This thing that's all the way out here. What do we need to do? Bring it back. To a state of integration. Does that make sense? So far, so good. And if I don't bring it back, what happens now? Now I'm living in this split type of reality. And what happens when I start to split my reality? That's when I start to lose hope.

19:22 It goes something like this. What does it look like? I told you we're going very deep tonight. What does it look like? To bring this fragmented thing and integrate it into my life. I learn from it is a very powerful answer. I would say something like this: We human beings are capable of enduring almost any pain that we go through, as long as that pain is meaningful. Does that make sense? In other words, we can go through exceptionally hard things. We can do exceptionally hard things as long as it's leading somewhere. As long as I see how this is part of a larger story. Without that, pain turns into suffering, and suffering becomes unbearable. What's the difference? It goes like this. For example Let's say you go to the gym. The gym is pain, right? That's if you look at the gym, everyone's miserable in the gym, right? It's a miserable place to be because you're literally causing pain to yourself, right? But why do people pay to go to a gym? Why do they pay to lift heavy things and cause pain to themselves?

20:40 Because it's part of a larger story. What's the larger story? The larger story is I want to stay in shape. The larger story is I want to be healthy. So maybe show me the gear. So I was saying that to anybody in specific. Just show me the gear with our phones. Let's say the pain is part of a larger story, so now it's not suffering, and not only will I handle it, I'll grow from it. Does that make sense? Yeah. But what happens if I have no idea why I'm going through this pain? Now what? What does pain become? Suffering. Pain becomes suffering, and what is suffering? Suffering at some point becomes unbearable. And so what we need to do in our lives, and this is really important Is when we're in pain. The story that we tell ourselves around pain is either how we're going to integrate that pain into our lives or how that pain is going to turn into suffering.

21:36 For example, let's say chas v'shalom, something terrible happens to somebody in our community. So the story could be I have no idea why Hashem did this. I don't know why Hashem does anything, but I know that a godly response is to make this pain meaningful. So we're going to start meal trains. We're going to take the kids out. We're going to make sure the kids are taken care of. We're going to make sure that person's mortgage is paid for. We're going to make sure that their tuition is paid for. We're going to make sure that the kids are taken out and have fun times while this tragedy is going on. What are we doing when we do that? Not only are we doing chesed Even in a larger sense, what are we doing? We're integrating this pain. It doesn't just exist as this fragmented reality. We're giving a coherent narrative. We're like, this happened, and this is our community's response.

22:28 Does that make sense? What happens if we just go? It's terrible. I don't know why God did this. We're the victims of this terrible thing that happened. What happens? That's just suffering. In other words, it's not part of any narrative. You're not going anywhere with it. Does that make sense? Any time something happens, we have a choice. This fragmented, crazy thing—what do we do with that? Do we integrate it, or do we let it stay in its fragmented state? If we let things stay in our fragmented state for long enough, we go numb. We become disassociative. We don't feel our feelings. In a certain sense, we become exiled. But once we integrate. Integration is the beginning of healing. It's an interesting thing. Integration is the beginning of healing. Healing begins when our parts that are in pain or our parts that are fragmented begin to reintegrate into our story.

23:32 Can I give you a practical example of what this looks like? Because I know it sounds a little bit like very like high in the sky right now. Yeah. Let's say you have someone who Develops a part of themselves that's very angry. Have you ever met people with a real temper? Yeah. The people who have these tempers feel a deep sense of shame around the fact that they have anger management issues. It's not a proud thing for them. They know that they fly off the handle, and they know that they scare people when they do. In fact, they hate their anger more than you do. Because they know that the anger is really hurting them and the people that they love. So as long as they hate their anger, what does their anger remain? It remains in a state of fragmentation. It remains very far away from us.

24:27 Does that make sense? What would it look like to heal that anger? One way of thinking about this is In order for me to heal my anger, I imagine if I understood what it was born from. Imagine if I understood what role it plays in my life and how it's protecting me. And I can also understand the negative impact. By reintegrating it, I'm now able to hold that anger differently. A classic example of this is: let's say you have a young girl who felt bullied by others. As a young girl, she developed a part of her that's angry. Uses that temper to protect herself from bullies. That's how it starts. Eventually, through the lens of that child, what starts to happen? Any time she feels somebody slights her or wrongs her or is picking on her, the anger explodes. And eventually, the anger starts to become angry even when somebody's not bullying her. But now she understands. Now she understands that her anger really was born of a place of just trying to protect her.

25:38 And she understands that it does have a positive impact in her life because to the degree To the degree that she's angry, she's not allowing herself to be bullied and abused. Is it a good thing to be angry? Of course not. Is she hurting people with her anger? Absolutely. But hating her anger is not integrating her anger. Hating her anger is keeping her in a state of fragmentation. So what should she do? Appreciate the beauty of her anger, and then, in that state of appreciating its beauty, being able to dialogue with that anger and to be able to say "But you're not serving me anymore. In fact, you're hurting me. And so I want you to be in the car protecting me, but you can't be driving my car." Does that start to make a little bit more sense? When we have things in our life Traumatic things that happen. We need to tell a story in order to bring them back in. The same thing is true within ourselves. When there are things going on in ourselves that we don't understand, how do we? If we just hate them, they're going to stay in their state of fragmentation. But when we can make meaning of them, we can tell a coherent story, a cogent story, a unifying story. Things start to shift.

26:56 How many people are still with me? I just want to make sure. Not bad. Deep stuff here in Ben and Maryam. The biggest secret in all of Judaism is the following. If you know this, you know the secret of all of Judaism. This is the biggest secret. Exile is not a flaw; it's a feature. Exile is on purpose. Why? Because it's easy to experience oneness without brokenness But it's not impressive. What's impressive is to be able to discover integration in a state of fragmentation. And the reason why God builds exile into the system. In fact, what was one of the first things that Hashem said to Avram Avinu? During the Bris Mayim Ahavasarim, what did he say? Your children are going down to Egypt. They're going into exile. Why does God promise? This is like at their marriage, right? Like Hashem is meeting Avram Avinu. They're making their covenant, right? This is their Chuppah. What does Hashem say to Avram? Your children are going down to Egypt. It's like, why are you telling me that? That's terrible, right?

28:05 That's the design of this nation. The design of this nation is to be able to see unity within fragmentation. Which means that being in a fragmented state, like we all are, every one of us is. Sometimes my head wants something that my heart doesn't want. My soul wants something that my body doesn't want. I could show up and do the right thing in a totally emotionally disconnected way. Why are we designed that way? The reason why we're designed that way is in order to be able to go through the avodah of unifying that which appears to be fragmented on the outside by being able to tell a larger, cohesive story. About these things that are going on That's the big secret of Judaism. The reason why a Jew is able to survive, not only survive but thrive within exile, is because we understand that exile is on purpose, and that exile gives us the greatest opportunity to find Hashem's oneness in this world. The world sees chaos, and what do we see?

29:04 We see oneness. That makes sense. Anything in the world that happens in a chaotic fashion, how do Jews respond to it? With meaning. So let's say chas v'shalom, a rocket fell on a building and destroyed the building. What would we find in our community? And we did find this: Chesed. All of a sudden, Jews come out of the woodwork and they're like Let me help clean up. Let's say chas v'shalom, somebody is killed in Gaza And there, let's say the family that's sitting shiva for them is all the way up north. Do you know how many people are going to drive all the way from down south, all the way up north, just to pay a shiva call? Why do we do that? Why do we respond? To chaos in that way, it's because what the world sees as chaos, we see as an opportunity for unity.

29:51 So we're not playing the same game as everybody else. That's why we're winning. Everybody else is trying to figure out how to stop the chaos. What are we trying to do? It was never chaos at all. It was just unity appearing in a fragmented form. So I just have to discover the unity within the fragmentation, and then it won't be fragmented anymore. Now it'll be integrated. That's the avoda of a Jew. To be able to see past what appears to be chaotic, and to find the inner unity. So far, so good. Does this make sense? Okay. Who's the ultimate man of integration in the Torah? It's Yaakov Avinu. Avram is Chesed Yitzchak is Gvura. Avram is loving kindness. Yitzchak is strength. What's Yaakov? M S or what we call Tipheres. What does Tipheres really mean? Tiferes means the harmony of opposites. That's what beauty really is. That's why this might sound a little bit funny to you.

30:49 But sometimes an imperfect note, when I say note, I mean like in music, sometimes like an imperfect note perfectly timed Is what makes the music actually beautiful. If you just play that, that minor note, it's nasty and awkward and uncomfortable. But when it's part of that larger song, it's perfect. Anyone here a musician? Do you know what I mean when I say that? The imperfect chord is perfectly played. And in fact, if you only play the beautiful chords, the song is actually not that beautiful. A little asymmetry is actually what makes something symmetrical. Sometimes, something is beautiful because it doesn't look a hundred percent right. In fact, the fact that it doesn't look a hundred percent right almost accents the beauty of everything else. So Yaakov is the ultimate in tiferes. Tiferes means beauty. It means the harmony of opposites. It's the ultimate in integration. Where do we see this?

31:45 Where do we see this in Yaakov's life? There's one place where we see this in Yaakov's life. More than one place, many places actually. But one place above all where we see Yaakov Avinu as the ultimate divider, the ultimate harmonizer of that which appears to be divided. I'll give you a hint. It involves a ladder. In that dream, what was the dream? Where's Yaakov Avinu? He goes to sleep, and where's the ladder? What does the Torah tell us? It's on the ground and where else? In other words, what is that ladder doing? It's bridging the gap between two of the most opposite things in the world: spiritual and physical. And by the way, what was Yaakov sleeping on? How many rocks were really in the end? Think about it. Twelve fragmented rocks. When Yaakov Avinu has a dream that bridges the gap between Shamayim and Arutz, and what happens to those rocks? All of a sudden, the fragmentation becomes unity.

32:44 I would say I don't know that I have the ability to take rocks and turn them into one. But I would say that every one of us in our life is actually attempting to and succeeding to do all of that. So I might not have rocks, right? But let's say I do have children, right? Sitting at a Shabbos table with lots of children that have lots of different opinions, giving space for each one of them to be different and to share their opinions, but as the father leading the direction of the conversation. So that we learn to have these conversations respectfully. I would say, in a certain sense. That is an expression of unifying 12 different rocks. And I would say that our ability to do that as parents is directly connected to how much we are that ladder. Yaakov Avinu was the ladder. It wasn't just that he dreamt of a ladder; he was the ladder that bridges Shamayim and Arutz. So to the degree that we are integrated people, we actually do that all the time in our life. Any time you try to make shalom between two people

33:44 Which doesn't mean to remove their differences, but to show how their differences are really one. You in a certain way are taking twelve rocks and turning them into one. Remember, the imagery is communicating a message. That message is something that every one of us is doing all the time. In Yaakov Avinu, it looked miraculous. In us, it's the mundane lives that we're trying to lead. So Yaakov Avinu is the latter. Yaakov Avinu is harmonizing opposites. Redemption is not the removal of pain. What is redemption? If it's not the removal of pain, what is it? Redemption is the removal of suffering. Because when redemption occurs, what is it really? I can now see at the very end the entire story. Meaning behind. So it's like what's a good way of thinking about this? You know that classic kid story where like. A guy buys a horse for very cheap, and someone says that's so lucky, and he says we'll see.

34:57 He gets on the horse and he's riding and he falls down and he breaks his leg and the guy goes, 'I see you were unlucky' and he goes, 'we'll see.' And then the army, the czar's army comes and wants to draft him, but they can't because he has a broken leg. It's hard to know. What the coherent narrative is until the very end. That's why we always tell stories from the end, right? But it's not obvious where the end is because the next thing is still coming. But at the end, you go like this: you go, "Oh no," I know how to stitch incoming. I know your language. You know it's like you gotta wait for it, and then it's like, what are the coolest movies? The coolest movies are the ones where now you see how every single thing along the way was leading up to that surprise ending, and now that the surprise ending, everything makes sense.

35:48 You remember that movie Sixth Sense? Did you see that movie? And at the end, when you find out he was dead the entire time, you're like, that's crazy. And you go back and you rewatch the movie, and it's like you totally understand the movie in a different way, right? Geula means not the end of pain. Geula means the end of suffering because then there's no more fragmentation. All the scattered experiences of history now become somebody's one story, and now there's the realization that nothing was ever random. Every single thing that ever happened, the tiniest leaf that blew in the wind, was perfectly designed to advance the narrative. So all of the struggles that we went through are no longer just detached events. All of those things that we perceived to be chaos weren't actually chaos. All the things that appeared to be fragmented were really just different expressions of a particular unity.

36:45 Let's go back to Eliyahu Hanavi. What's Eliyahu Hanavi's job now? Let's think about this deeply. Eliyahu Hanavi is what? He's the one who says Mashiach is here. What's that? Another way of saying. When Eliyahu Hanavi announces Mashiach's here, what is that on a deeper level? Now that we're not just children, what is Eliyahu Hanavi really doing? Eliyahu Hanavi is really the one who comes and says surprise ending. He's the Eliyahu Hanavi is the one that goes Mashiach, and now once he calls and he announces Mashiach, everything falls into place. Girls, what's the letter vav? That's the numerology of the letter Vav. What is the letter Vav? What does it mean? First, let's talk about what it means. What did you say? And. What does Vav do? Vav takes two things and puts them together. In other words, where you have fragmentation, what does Vav do?

37:44 It creates unity. That's how you have two things in a sentence. And when you put the word Vav in the sentence What happens when you put the word vav in the sentence? It creates unity. What's another way of looking at the letter vav? We spoke about what it does. Another way of looking at the letter vav is a. What is that? A line. A bridge. There you go. It's a bridge or a ladder, right? What does vav do physically? What does vav look like physically? A vav, if you had to look at it, you would say this is Shamayim and this. So physically, a vav is the thing that creates unity within the fragmentation. I want to do a really deep one with you. Let's take the following case. You and I are about to make a business deal. We haven't signed a contract yet.

38:48 What's the gap? We've agreed. What do we say? Shake on it. When you say shake on it, what are you really saying? Let's unpack that carefully. What's the state right now? Before we've shaken on it, we've come to an agreement in principle. You go shake on it. What do these two people do? They get up. Strong handshake. What does a handshake mean? You know what the handshake means? There's a vulnerability that exists. What's the vulnerability? Are you actually going to follow through? That's the vulnerability. We've come to an agreement in principle, and then what happens if somebody renegs? Where do we go? Dude? You shook my hand. So what? I shook your hand. We didn't sign anything. What does a handshake mean? When I give you my hand and you take my hand, you take my five vavs, like the maral says. Why does it mean your word?

39:40 Because in the space of vulnerability, what's the vulnerability? You're still on that side and I'm still on this side. But when I come and I give you my five vavs, what is the maral saying? We're shaking hands. We're no longer on opposite sides of the table. We're a team. We've agreed to this. We've created a unity, and for you to pull out now is a big deal. Why? Because what I told you through that handshake was in the space of that vulnerability, where we appear to be fragmented. When we shook hands, we discovered the unity within the fragmentation. What is Yaakov Avinu looking at? Yaakov Avinu is looking here. At the tocha, what's the tocha? It's terrifying. Hashem comes and he gives us all this rebuke and he goes, "If you don't follow my ways, this is what's going to happen. All these terrible curses are going to befall you. You're going to eat your own children, and it's terrible. If you look at the tocha, it's actually terrible. What do we do? What is the Torah telling us in this space? There's a vulnerability here. What's the vulnerability? The vulnerability is we're in this state of fragmentation, total separation from God. What does God say? Don't worry. I'll remember you."

40:40 I'll remember my covenant with Abraham. I'll remember my covenant with Isaac. I'll remember my covenant with Yaakov. Why does it now spell Yaakov with an extra vav? Because in this space of exile, of total distance from Hashem. What does Yaakov Avinu say? Don't worry, guys. I made a handshake deal with Eliyahu Hanavi. What's the handshake? The handshake is there's unity within this fragmentation. In this space of vulnerability, one day you're going to discover this oneness. Because at the very end, when Eliyahu Hanavi comes and he gets his five vav's back, what's he going to be able to show you? And everything that happened was an and, and. Every single thing that happened was the next step in the story. One large story that brought us to the end. It's a very painful thing to go through Golus. How do we hold on to hope? Because remember. You lose hope in your state when the self splits. How do you hold on to hope?

41:38 Hope is the knowledge that there is a story being told over here, even if I don't yet know the ending. That's the most difficult thing in the world. Real bitachon means I have no idea how this story is unfolding. I don't see the end, but I trust that there is an author to this story. So I am not going to engage. This story through suffering, but through pain. How do I engage it through pain? I'm going to find the meaning. I'm going to find the unity within the fragmentation. And through that, ultimately, that's how we bring geula. Girls have a beautiful Shabbos.