This article first appeared on Meaningfulminute.org יַסֵּ֣ר בִּ֖נְךָ וִֽינִיחֶ֑ךָ וְיִתֵּ֖ן מַעֲדַנִּ֣ים לְנַפְשֶֽׁךָ Chastise your son, and he will give you rest and grant pleasures to your soul. (Mishlei 29:17) The Vilna Gaon explains this passuk: “Give Mussar to your child, and you will rest” that even a great Tzaddik will join his child in Gehenom if the child is not raised correctly. A tzaddik who raises his child properly can “rest” in Gan Eden and is not taken out. On the other hand, “And he will grant pleasures to your soul” – a righteous child will be an eternal merit for the parents even if the parents are not righteous. Avraham Avinu is a zechus for his father Terach. Chazal (Kesubos 62b) tell the story of a young boy whose father had died and came to Rabbi Akiva and asked him to teach him how to say Kaddish. Despite the boy’s youth, Rabbi Akiva agreed to teach him and spent a year teaching him the prayer and its proper pronunciation. The boy was so dedicated to learning the prayer that he would repeat it over and over again until he had memorized it perfectly. After a year of study, the boy returned to Rabbi Akiva and recited Kaddish flawlessly. Impressed by the boy’s dedication and hard work, Rabbi Akiva declared that the boy’s father’s soul had been elevated in Gan Eden due to the merit of the boy’s learning and recitation of Kaddish. It is clear from the Vilna Gaon that the parent-child relationship is an inseparable bond. The parent continues to be accountable
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